"Wherever you are, be there. Lifestyle is not what we do; it is something we experience. And until we learn to be there, we will never master the art of living well. "~ Jim Rohn
I have been told time and time again that our time is our most valuable asset. But I disagree.
The blogosphere is full of tips on time management – how to get more for our time. I am willing to bet my life that you have come across many such tips yourself online.
You have probably even adopted some of them.
I am notorious for searching the internet for new tips that help me manage my time better. And yet I think I'm fighting. Nevertheless, I am constantly a prisoner of my devices.
There is one thing that will beat time every day – presence. Time may be important, but our presence is paramount.
Tell me if you can tell something: you are at a family reunion or a reunion and you can't help but notice how much everyone around us is loosening up. Your cousin is busy taking selfies while your aunt is on the phone with her friend. Your father catches up all Donald Trump tweets and your sibling makes a tik token video.
So what do you do in the end? You pull out your phone and check Instagram.
I know because I have been there myself.
Social gatherings are no longer what they were a decade ago. We are constantly connected now. Fear sets in when we cannot find our phones or when the battery is almost empty.
I am sitting in a café and writing this. When I look around, I see a couple of people sitting but busy on their phones. Present but only physically. Technology has made our worlds smaller and at the same time further away.
We have come to the conclusion that it is sufficient to just show up. As if only physical presence would improve things. It rarely does!
It is annoying and frustrating at the same time – to be there but not to be present.
We show up to fit, but if we had a choice we'd rather not be there. We're physically in one place, but mentally we're wondering how life on the other side could be greener.
Spiritually we are busy with what God knows "to stay up to date".
Presence is a big deal.
Imagine that you made a reservation for a special evening in a chic restaurant. You have heard good things about the food and the ambience of the place. You're looking forward to a hell of a good night just to be served by a busy waiter who ignores your table, messes up your order, and ruins your dining experience.
We were all there, weren't we?
Now think back to the last time you got someone's full attention. How did you feel about it? Tell me that the experience was not unforgettable and pleasant.
It is easy to tell the difference when someone is mentally absent or when someone is completely present because presence cannot be delegated. You just can't pass it on to someone and get away with it.
You cannot cut back on your presence, because then you are practically not there. You are either there or not. There is no in between!
We all have to be present and choose to be in the moment.
In a world that is becoming increasingly isolated, presence becomes a big thing because it is a scarce commodity today. There is simply not enough of what makes it more valuable than time.
As Maya Angelou said:
"I learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Unlike gifts, our presence cannot be copied, imitated, or replicated. Just like our fingerprints, our presence is unique to us and without us there is a gap that nobody can fill.
With every opportunity you get – and trust me, as you get older, you get less – you should choose to be there.
Your relationship doesn't take time, you have to be present. You have to pay attention to the smile, the laugh, the hugs and the sadness. You have to actively participate in the uncomfortable moments, the difficult conversations and the embarrassing pictures.
The next time you pick up the phone, pick it up, turn it off, and put it away. This way you can be one, present and two, catching up with people in the room instead of keeping up with those outside. In most cases, the ones that are important are right there in the room with you.
Choose presence next time because time is only important when you are really there to enjoy it.
About Tuseet Jha
Tuseet Jha is just an ordinary boy next door trying to deconstruct and demystify life one by one. He usually writes on his blog about happiness, productivity, minimalism and success. Connect with him on LinkedIn and follow him on Medium and Instagram.
See typing errors or inaccuracies? Please contact us so we can fix the problem!
