"A cat purring on your lap is more healing than any drug in the world because the vibrations you receive are pure love and contentment." ~ St. Francis of Assisi
We all know what it's like to be sick. At some point in our lives we get the flu or a bad cold, but we know the course – rest a lot and before you know it, you are as good as new. But for some of us, we live with chronic illnesses.
Chronic diseases bring with them everyday symptoms that you cannot get rid of. Dealing with chronic diseases is really difficult.
You wonder if you will ever get well, mourn what you have done or wanted to do before, think about keeping you busy, and feel invisible to those who do not know how is to be sick.
Autoimmune diseases affect 50 million people in the United States and include over 100 diseases (aarda.org). I have an autoimmune disease – Crohn's disease. It is a chronic inflammatory bowel disease.
Crohn's disease has many symptoms that fluctuate from day to day and, like all autoimmune diseases, show remissions and relapses. I don't know when I'll wake up, whether I'll have a good or a really bad day.
On some days it is overwhelming, on others I feel supported and hope that I feel better.
When my 20-year-old cat Yochabel was diagnosed with bladder cancer, two of us in the same house were suffering from a chronic illness. When we faced our health challenges together, something remarkable happened.
She became a mirror of myself. I thought I would be fine, but she questioned my current perception of illness. I had room for improvement when Yochabel, my dear cat companion, offered me classes on how to use it.
Of course I didn't have cat bladder cancer, but, like my own, her condition was chronic and unpredictable. Similarly, the direction of treatment was unclear and despite visits from various specialists, opinions were confusing and contradictory.
Whether it's cancer, autoimmune, or any other disease, there are common themes among them. I consider illness to be painful, uncomfortable, disoriented, stressful, frustrating and even depressing from time to time.
But to my surprise, Yochabel introduced me to a positive aspect of the disease. The disease brought irreplaceable gifts into our lives, one of which is gratitude.
Pay attention and appreciate the little things in life
When we know that our time with those we love is limited, our perspective suddenly changes. Instead of focusing on what we don't have, we focus on what we have. I was thankful every day that Yochabel was able to physically go to her litter box.
The first thing I did in the morning was run into the room where she slept, and when I saw her big, beautiful green eyes wide open and I heard her purr, I was grateful. I noticed that I appreciated these things in Yochabel, but not in myself.
My body, like you, gave me many moments for which I could be grateful. Even though I had been living with Crohn's disease for decades, my body gave me the ability to walk to see Yochabel, the senses to see and hear it, and a heart that filled with love when I thought of it.
My body gave me life – a life that I could use optimally because it was my choice, regardless of the illness.
Be present: One step, one moment at a time
During the ups and downs of bladder cancer adaptation, I noticed the strong contrast between Yochabel's reactions and my own. I wanted the answers to be clear and straight from the treatment. I was impatient and outwardly frustrated.
In the meantime, Yochabel's life was consumed by frequent trips to her litter box. Every morning I watched her crouch to urinate, return to her bed, and start over. Her pace made me anxious and angry.
I kept asking myself why this happens to her. She did not deserve it.
I watched her take one step at a time, as if each walk to the litter box was a new one. On the other hand, I collected their ailments, with each path to the litter box "stacked" over the previous one when I said angrily, "Now it starts again!"
In the meantime she was calm and present at every step.
I was wondering how she does it.
Then I came to the conclusion that it was really about being in the moment – taking one symptom at a time. The more we accumulate and stack symptoms, the more difficult it is to deal with. One symptom at a time is more manageable.
I wondered if I could treat my symptoms individually.
It is almost as if she knew that this was a process that her body had to develop in its own time.
As I watched their presence and approached a very annoying constellation of symptoms, I realized how much energy I exert to accelerate healing, get immediate answers, and reach the end of treatment. This negative reaction steals my healing energy in the form of stress.
Stress does not help healing, it makes it worse. It was a big difference: Yochabel seemed to handle stress much better than I did.
It's all about perception – we are what we think
A side effect of bladder cancer is bleeding. Although I know that this can be a common symptom of cancer, my perception of blood is "scary" and painful.
In fact I'm freaking out!
Yochabel did not find blood alarming. Therefore, every time she urinated blood while I panicked, Yochabel remained present and calm until my nerves and actions alarmed her.
To my astonishment, she was still purring even during the bleeding and was looking for my companionship and my meals.
I wondered if I could be so calm when my body was doing strange things. it would surely be useful.
It was only about my perception.
Joy and illness can coexist
The most confusing thing for me was Yochabel's ability to show joy and zest for life, despite what I found unpleasant – cancer.
While bleeding, urinating urgently, and dealing with her own lifestyle changes, she was optimistic, friendly, patient, and obviously cheerful.
I could not imagine a day in my life on which I radiated external or internal joy in a Crohn flare. Not to mention that I was irritable to my fellow human beings when I suffered.
Yochabel, who stayed in the moment, never allowed her illness to suppress her joy or relationship with me.
She was always friendly and grateful.
companions of pets help us heal
Life with chronic illnesses inspires me, what my body and my mind need to heal, to develop and to refine.
Over the years I have explored many approaches to curing Crohn's disease and strengthening my immune system.
I tried physical interventions: nutrition, routine blood tests, taking vitamins and supplements as well as emotional interventions: see a licensed psychotherapist and examine the effects of childhood trauma and stress on my health.
These were all effective in their own way, but sometimes healing can be easier than we think.
Our companions are vital to our healing.
They not only offer us unconditional love and support, but are also some of our greatest teachers. There is no invisible illness in the presence of a pet companion.
They see us for who we really are, and their wisdom and intuition is something that everyone can benefit from.
Hold on to the presents in front of you
Disease is life-changing for caretakers and patients.
However, the greatest lesson I learned from Yochabel is that some of the difficulties stem from my own creation.
It is counterproductive to rush the human body beyond its natural healing ability. Anger and frustration with loved ones and yourself are harmful. Negative perceptions create stress and confusion.
Just because illness is present in our life does not mean that we have to surrender to it. We still have our joy, a good time with loved ones, the ability to make moment-to-moment decisions and hope things can get better.
While Yochabel had cancer, I seemed to be the victim and the "sick" of the two of us.
Why?
Because she hasn't released any of these gifts.
Her focus was on capturing her moment by moment, and if I do the same thing, I can deal with it much more easily.
About Casey Hersch
Casey Hersch, MSW, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker, author, and founder of www.lightyoursparkle.life. She specializes in integrative treatment models for chronic diseases by making the connection between our physical and emotional body aware. Our passions are at the center of health and ballroom dancing and the accompaniment of pets are clear examples. Inspired by her own struggles with autoimmune diseases and trauma, she teaches empowerment and how to create individual healing plans.
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