"Don't let the fears in your head push you around. Let the dreams in your heart guide you." ~ Roy T. Bennett
When I was a college senior, God or the Voice of God (aka Morgan Freeman) came to my campus to give a lecture. At the end of the conversation, I went to the microphone in the hallway of the auditorium, excited to ask my question and share his wisdom with me.
“Hello, thank you very much for being with us today! As a college senior trying to figure out what to do next, I wondered if you had advice in my shoes for me and other people. "
"Follow your heart."
I would be lying if I said that I am not disappointed with his answer. "Follow your heart" sounded banal and I had the feeling that my neighbor could have told me that. There was definitely a feeling, "Tell me something I don't know." I expected a lot more, especially from a man who played God!
That was almost a decade ago. Now, in hindsight, I can see that those three words were full of complexity, and while it's a seemingly simple question, people struggle to work through it. Why is that?
Based on my experiences and what I have seen in others around me, the main reason is this: Although we know what we really want, we let our fears get in the way. Whenever fear emerges, our mind, which is evolutionarily designed to protect us from any form of perceived danger, goes into high gear, drowning out the inner voice that comes from our heart, and rationalizing another path instead.
For most of us, we give up our dreams and follow a path of "certainty" – one that usually comes with some kind of financial stability.
Example: When I was a college senior, I really wanted to apply to law school to become a public interest attorney.
I had attended (and enjoyed) several law classes and interned with the Legal Aid Society to help clients fight evictions against their landlords. I found the work incredibly meaningful and wanted to continue. As a low-income first-generation student, however, I didn't know how to balance law school costs with a public-interest attorney salary, in addition to the expectation that I would come out and do "good." Money because I went to a “good” school.
At that moment my brain kicked in and convinced me to go into counseling instead. I justified this decision by telling myself that the counseling would expose me to different industries and allow me to study, and that after two years I could still apply to a law school if I wanted. (In case you were wondering, I hated counseling and never applied to law school, although for several years I wondered what life would have been like if I had walked that route.)
After going through this experience and pondering Morgan Freeman's answer to my question, I would like to share a few steps you can take to make it easier for you to follow your heart:
1. Determine your values and live your life accordingly.
When you know what your values are, every time you make a decision you will know that it is the right one when it is in line with your values. Take a moment to think about the following questions:
Which three to five values are important to you? A list of the core values can be found here.
How can you integrate your values into your daily life?
For example: One of my core values is personal growth. There were times when I was afraid to take advantage of new opportunities (e.g. following a counseling appearance in Zimbabwe). In these situations my key question when deciding what to do was: "With which decision can I grow?"
I said yes to Zimbabwe, despite fears of traveling alone and staying for long periods in a developing country with which I was not familiar. However, when I decided to take the opportunity, I discovered how I had played up the fears in my head and my experience in Zimbabwe gave me the courage to buy a one-way ticket to India a few years later.
2. Do the things that make you happy.
This seems like a breeze; However, it is very easy for us to forego the things we enjoy because other things get in the way (working too much, taking care of other people around us, etc.)
When you actively take the time to do the things that make you happy, you can access a different state of mind where new ideas and ways of thinking (which are authentic to you) arise because of your happy state , You are not bogged down by your everyday fears and worries that come from the mind.
Some of the things that make me happy include long walks, handwritten letters and playing with dogs. When I do these things, not only am I happier, but I also get flashes of inspiration for work. New ideas come to me when I let myself do the things that I enjoy – this phenomenon is comparable to showering thoughts.
3. Pursue your interests and go step by step.
Perhaps you are considering taking this writing class? You may not be sure because you don't consider yourself a writer and you worry that everyone else in the class is better than you. Ignore the voice of judgment and follow your intuition – sign up for this class!
It is easy to feel discouraged when we look at other people around us who are fifty steps ahead of us in the thing we want to pursue and think, "Why bother?" However, the reality is that everyone starts somewhere. If you don't start today, time will go by anyway and in a year you will be exactly where you are today if you don't try.
The more steps you take towards what speaks to you, the more likely they will add up and set the path for you to follow your calling.
As an example, I rediscovered yoga in 2017, something I tried for the first time a few years ago but didn't enjoy. I slowly built up my yoga practice – I went to yoga classes which then turned into yoga retreats and festivals. Before long, I had a strong desire to go to India to complete the Yoga Teacher Training (YTT).
I had no idea what would result from YTT – I wasn't even sure I wanted to become a yoga teacher. However, I knew I wanted to at least do YTT for myself because that's how much I appreciated yoga! Through the process of YTT, I discovered that I actually want to teach yoga to others.
“Follow your heart” is a short and simple phrase, but for many it seems like a great challenge. May these three steps help you pursue the dreams in your heart.
About Angela Choi
Angela is a life coach. It helps professionals who feel stuck and unfulfilled to discover their purpose so that they can achieve the desired effect and income. She draws on lessons learned over a decade of finding purpose in the corporate, startup, and nonprofit worlds in the U.S., Africa, Asia, and Europe while reviewing self-assessment, family pressures, and societal expectations reconciles. Sign up for their FREE Guide, 6 Steps to Serve Your Purpose.
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