I know that may sound pessimistic, but listen to me …
"I hope this whole COVID-19 thing will go away soon so that we can resume normal life."
"I hope this quarantine will be over soon!"
"I hope that things will return as they used to be. “
Maybe you think or hope these things. But recently I've been thinking about the possibility that COVID-19 will never actually go away and that we may have to learn to adapt and live with it. It can be like influenza – seasonal, with a recommended shot and a new virus that becomes part of our lives.
We don't know when the quarantine will end, and even if we get a specific date, that date is pushed back further and further. I've been in quarantine for seven weeks and I'm going crazy. The bleak reality is that things are no longer what they used to be. Each. And that makes me discouraged, discouraged and sad.
But if I am able to be mindful and sit with these feelings and thoughts from a non-judgmental place, I can see that I have clung to the past and how things were before. At the same time, I hoped for the future.
The cause of my suffering: I wish that things are different than they are currently. I am reminded that mindfulness is about being in the present moment.
Life in hope prevents us from living in the present. It prevents us from accepting what is right now. Hope puts us in a constant way of thinking in the future.
"I'll be happy if …"
"The moment x changes, then …"
"If only … then …"
How many times have you said: "I'm happy when I get a promotion, own a house, buy this chic car, marry the perfect partner, fill the gap"? I know I've said these things many times. But it's like marrying a person because of their "potential" instead of accepting them for what they are. We all know how this works …
I am not saying that hope is a "bad" thing or that we have no hope. Maybe that's what gets you out of bed everyday or helps you stay motivated. Maybe it's something to look forward to, and if it helps you in any way, it's great. It's great as long as it helps you take action and not just keep you on hold.
A wait state based on external circumstances, an unpredictable future date, or a potential “something” that may or may not ever happen is not helpful. Holding on to that kind of hope is not helpful.
What if we said instead …
"I don't know if this COVID-19 thing will ever really go away, but what can I do now to make my life feel more normal / regular?"
"This quarantine is not over yet. What can I focus and do now?"
"This pandemic is literally changing and influencing so many areas of my life. How can I use this opportunity to grow, new to evaluate and learn new things? "
This changed mindset empowers you. You have clarity, you can make decisions, you can act, you can choose – if you accept the current situation and give it permission to exist, rather than want it to be different. This reduces our resistance, our suffering and enables us to operate from a mindful place of clarity.
Maybe then we can cultivate something called "wise hope".
As Zen teacher Joan Halifax says: "Wise hope does not see things as unrealistic, but sees them as they are, including the truth of suffering – both its existence and our ability to transform it."
We can either be frustrated and suffering with the current situation, or we can accept it for what it is and focus on what we can do now.
Personally, I know that if I stay in the mindset that things are different and after weeks of isolation (and who knows how long) I can easily go downhill, I will bend Netflix and absorb amounts eat ice cream and don't keep up with self-care.
These things can quickly lead to decreased mood, increased negativity and fear, unproductivity and even depression. I know how easy it is to get involved and I don't want to go there. Rather, I consciously choose not to go there. It all starts with how I rephrase my thoughts through acceptance and then take action.
Hope: "I hope this whole COVID-19 thing will go away soon so we can get back to normal life."
Acceptance and Action: “I don't know if this COVID-19 thing will ever really go away, but to make my life feel more normal during isolation, I will take action is my daily routine hold. That means going to sleep at an appropriate time, raising the alarm on the weekend, getting fresh air and sunlight on my terrace, meditating, eating well, doing yoga / stretching / doing pushups, taking a shower and that Prioritize self-care. I know that even on days when I don't feel like doing these things, I have the power to choose. I can choose not to do these things and feel crappy / unproductive / lazy, or I can choose to continue my daily routine because I know this will increase my overall happiness and well-being. "
Hope: "I hope this quarantine will be over soon!"
Acceptance & Action: “Although I hope this quarantine will be over soon, all this extra time is such an opportunity! I can finally start reading the book that has been on my shelf for a year, take the online course I've always wanted to take, make bread from scratch, clean my house thoroughly, and study online marketing ! I reevaluated my 2020 targets set at the beginning of the year and created a to-do list and a want-to-do list that I can work towards in the current situation. I was able to complete some of the things on my "want-to-do" list and I enjoyed it a lot. "
Hope: "I hope things will soon be the way they used to be."
Acceptance and Action: “Things will not be the same as before. We are constantly changing and growing because if we don't grow we will die. We see that all the time in nature. A plant never stays static; it grows or dies. There is no in between. So I choose to live every day, which means I choose to grow. I take the time to think about what has worked for me in the past and how I can improve it, to release what has not worked for me and / or to change direction. What a nice opportunity to press the RESET button! "
While this quarantine can be frustrating, boring, lonely, stressful, filling the void, it can be an opportunity to sit back, transform, grow, change direction, and reinvent yourself. Which one will you choose?
About Yurika Vu
Yurika Vu is holding a free 1-day "Self Love" day where she interviews 5 of the best experts in Self Love! If you are struggling with self-confidence, value and self-acceptance, these short videos will give you simple practical skills that you can immediately incorporate to strengthen your self-confidence! Log on to https://themindfullifesummit.com/self-love/.[19459003für”AMindfulSelfLoveDay”an]
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