Eating is probably one of the most natural things in the world. We have to eat to live, and to live well, eating is a big part of it. Unfortunately, our motivation to eat is often unclear due to a variety of factors. Socio-economic demographics, generational values and our relationship between carers and food can have a major impact on the way we handle food as adults.
It is important to note that eating as an adult is very different from eating as a young child. As a child, eating is very structured. We have 3 meals and 3 snacks a day. The main purpose of this is to create structure and ensure that the child's energy is balanced. In addition, children do not have much control or choice over food. It is important to note that children have no choice when or what to eat, nor are they mature enough to understand the WHY behind their food choices.
Why is this important? Because in my coaching practice I see adult adults so often who struggle with their relationship with food and do not know why. Her life was kidnapped by fear, fear, shame and guilt.
I'm here to crack this emotional essence for you!
1. Appendix to Labels
Organizing a meal plan for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks as we did as children creates a rigidity that we, as adults, do not often approach can hold. Spontaneous professional and family commitments, travel and other joyful things that we can enjoy as adults cannot coexist with a rigid eating plan. We have to grow the inner child to trust an adult's fluidity.
We do this by learning to eat more intuitively. This means being in touch with hunger cues and being prepared when the time comes. It also means understanding what your body needs for you. It takes back the when and what. This is the agency that adults have.
2. Scarcity Complex
This is another belief that we picked up as children. Do you remember when your caregiver told you to get everything ready on your plate because the food is expensive and there is nothing else to eat if you don't? This belief is a major cause of compulsive eating and separates us directly from the part of ourselves that has confidence in the goodness of the world. Maintaining this innocence is crucial for the development of well-adjusted adults.
This lack of trust is one of the main factors for emotional eating. This deep-rooted fear that we are inherently bad people if we don't finish everything on our plate or eat free food from work, even if we're not hungry or don't want what we want. We are selfish, lavish and ungrateful.
As adults, however, we have a choice. The choice is possible at any time and has no judgments. It is up to us to learn the tools to slow down, understand what motivates our decisions, and then develop the skills to relate to those decisions with compassion. Once we have installed these tools and skills, we can begin to really build trust in the abundance that is available to us. Based on this basic belief, we can begin to heal our emotional relationship with food.
3. Calming Mechanism
From an early age, we were conditioned on the fact that eating helps to alleviate symptoms. When we cried as babies, we got the breast or the bottle. When we celebrated a victory or a birthday, it was about food. We are trained that eating makes everything better and happier immediately.
Don't get me wrong now – eating as joy can be wonderful when regulated internally, and there is an understanding of the WHY behind the meal. But so often, as adults, we forget to ask why, before plunging headlong into the leftover dessert last night after a long day when we felt inadequate or insecure.
One of my greatest tools to help customers overcome emotional eating is to offer them this tool.
Be ready to feel the sensations of your body when you grab this trigger food. Ask yourself if you are physically or emotionally hungry. Physical hunger will feel like pain and dizziness. Emotional hunger will feel like a racing heart, chaos and urgency.
If you do not feel any physical sensations or know that you cannot be physically hungry because you have just finished a meal, ask yourself what emotion you want to speak to me. Until you get a break from answering. Develop substitutes for eating such as drawing, painting, taking an outdoor walk, and calling a trusted friend. Over time, you will recondition yourself with new sedative mechanisms and change your relationship with food.
Remember that eating was one of the first ways we as children connect with others to build a healthy relationship with food adults. As soon as we can uproot and compassionately re-integrate the way in which children's convictions lead the show quietly, we can explore, experiment and appreciate the joy of eating as an adult.
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