To take a twist from Queen Elizabeth II, 2020 was our collective annus horribilis (terrible year). The Queen was referring to 1992, a year when three royal marriages imploded, a devastating fire at Windsor Castle and unfortunate headlines with Sarah Ferguson's new boyfriend and admiration for the Duchess of York's feet.
But as the meme says, 2020 to 1992 said, "Hold my beer."
The year the Queen "shall not look back with undiluted pleasure" included family losses, property destruction and an embarrassing press. Stressful for sure, but ultimately personal and mundane (although of course most of us don't have to face the paparazzi). But 2020 has pelted us with events of a practically seismic nature that, in one way or another, have affected billions of lives around the world. The emergence of the novel coronavirus was not the only stressor or misfortune that came the year, but it remains arguably the most disruptive. And maybe nowhere is this more evident than in people's working lives.
When the big US shutdown began in March 2020, most of us thought we were confined to the house and only working virtually for a few months. But about a year later, and with more than 450,000 American deaths attributed to COVID-19 in the first week of February, many people are still bent over their makeshift office equipment.
In the beginning some of the Snafus were funny from home. News channels broadcast with jackets on but no pants (which seems to be the work-from-home style of choice for a surprising number of people). The boss who accidentally turned into a potato in Microsoft Teams and didn't know how to retire. Amusing, embarrassing, and sometimes awful comments and conversations captured by inadvertently unmuffled microphones in video conferencing. Other glitches, like cats on the keyboard and dogs interfering during the meetings, were a bit messy, but – at least initially – too cute for their human companions to really complain about. But other people struggled to cut out a work area and found themselves under the stairs or barricaded behind the bathroom door because it was the only private room in a house full of busy (and noisy) family members. Even people who frequently teleworked before the pandemic found adapting to a purely virtual workplace a challenge.
Compatibility of work, school and childcare
One of the greatest challenges for work – whether virtual or on site – during the COVID-19 era was the lack of childcare facilities and the need to support children in their virtual school.
"Training people to manage their work life without childcare is a huge focus of my practice these days," says Katie Playfair, a Licensed Professional Consultant (LPC) and business consultant based in Portland, Oregon.
"I urge customers to be as flexible and creative as possible about how they can get their work done despite these commitments and, if possible, consider cutting their hours down to something more manageable," says they. “As a mother of children aged 8, 6 and 2 years, I teach them at home during the day and then work from 5:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. every night after my spouse comes home. It's a rough schedule. "
According to Playfair, many parents have to take breaks during the day to help with schoolwork and catch up on work themselves at night. Even children old enough not to need constant supervision often take a break from the work day to request a snack, get permission to take a break, or ask a quick question about homework. As a result, parents are constantly changing tasks and unable to block the time for non-stop work, explains Playfair.
"Developing a system for communicating with older children about when parents can and cannot be interrupted is critical," she emphasizes. Using physical or virtual calendars, door signs, or set “office hours” when they are available to their children can help parents protect meeting times and enable focused work during the day, she says.
"Giving children the opportunity to ask their questions by appropriate times is the other side of the equation," continues Playfair. “They may need a whiteboard on their parents' doors or some other way of keeping track of things so they don't forget about them and get frustrated. Older children can also learn to contact parents via email or text message. Still, parents may always need to work nights or weekends to make up for the work that is not done during the school day. "
Even in families where a spouse was staying home before the pandemic, the mix of virtual work and school can have a critical impact on routine, says Keri Riggs, a Texas-based LPC whose The specialties include relationship stressors, stress management and work-related issues. In one couple Riggs worked with, mothers were used to planning their day on their middle-school kids' schedule. The family had managed to incorporate virtual school into their routine when the father suddenly started working remotely.
The only available workspace was the kitchen table, and the husband often needed everyone else to leave the room so he could attend meetings. But he also recognized the need to give his wife a break – and the need to get away from the table herself – so that she could schedule lunch and other times when she would trade responsibility for the children. Because their meeting schedule was different, the couple sat down each evening and planned the next day's schedule, blocked off times when the kitchen had to be in do not disturb mode, and carved out time for breaks, says Riggs, a member the American Counseling Association.
It is even more difficult for single parents to adapt to the demands of work and school, since there are no available and willing relatives or neighbors who do not help anyone to carry their burden. Uninterrupted blocks of time may only be available when the children are asleep. However, some work-related tasks such as meetings and phone calls typically need to be done during the day. To minimize disruption, Jessi Eden Brown, an LPC that specializes in trauma and workplace bullying, suggests that parents “buy or create some kind of highly involved art project that they [children] only work on during meetings being able to work like a pleasure. "
"I don't love that," she continues, "but some clients have had [also] success with a TV show or movie that can be started or stopped." Brown, an ACA member, recognizes that this is not an ideal solution, but it may be the only way some customers can avoid interruptions in meetings. As she tells parents with all of the stressors they can deal with, an extra hour or two of television here and there isn't the end of the world for their kids.
Of course, Sharon Givens, an LPC specializing in career development and mental health, explains, “Not everyone could just pick up a laptop and go home. If you are a housekeeper, you cannot work from home. "
This is particularly problematic for single parents, she says. Some of their customers have family members who can help with childcare during the day, others have had to quit their jobs. They are facing devastating financial difficulties which have been exacerbated by the end of state-supplemented unemployment benefits.
"And so we work together to develop rent-paying strategies," said Givens, president-elect of the National Career Development Association, a division of ACA. Some customers have withdrawn money from their retirement accounts or tapped family members for financial assistance. Givens has also helped customers find local utilities and find jobs to do from home.
The pandemic and the resulting recession have required advisors to put on their "hands on strategy hat" to help clients, says Givens. She has advised customers to speak to their mortgage company or their landlord and utility company to see what kind of respite or other relief they can offer.
Setting boundaries and navigating distractions
The virtual office poses other challenges, such as blurring the boundaries between work and home. By eliminating the daily commute, office workers have gained extra time, but it has also taken away a natural boundary that signaled the start and end of the work day, Riggs says. The computer is always right there – a siren signals employees to read their e-mails one last time or just to work a little more. Suddenly it's midnight and you've been at the computer all day.
Riggs works with customers to replace the commute with other routines and asks what symbolizes the beginning and the end of the work day for them. Does she take a shower at the end of the day or does she take off her work clothes? She also suggests performing rituals, e.g. For example, hanging a “closed” sign on the computer or the door of the home office or uttering a mantra like “I did my best today”.
Sometimes, however, it is not employees who have problems setting limits. American work culture is often brutal and does not support health and wellbeing, Playfair claims.
"Unless an organization truly transforms into a more compassionate and empathetic workplace, they will almost always expect long hours, productivity and performance from everyone," she says. “But even within this culture there are possibilities for borders. First, I encourage people to ask their supervisors, “Do you want the truth, or what I think you want to hear?” When an employee feels pressured beyond what they can take. Most people will choose the truth, and that will give an opportunity for healthy disclosure. I also like the phrase "I wish I could do this for you, but I can't because …" to introduce a limit.
“After all, I think it is helpful that employees empathize with their superiors and at the same time ask for support themselves. For example, "I understand that you are understaffed for this shift and that headquarters are expecting you to find out." That's unfair. If our company budgeted and planned adequate budgets for emergency personnel, it wouldn't be a problem for you or me, would it? I know they expect you to be full today, but they haven't given you the resources to succeed with it, and I can't personally make up for your poor planning. "
Brown encourages its customers to look for colleagues who seem to be able to set limits. "Like & # 39; Bob & # 39; – he always seems to log off at 5am. How does he do it?" she asks.
In other instances, Brown and the customer may review their job description or the company's policy and procedure manual to determine whether their hours of work have been set.
Home itself can often be a distraction, notes Riggs. It can be difficult for people to focus solely on the work they are paid to do when they are surrounded by ubiquitous reminders of household chores that also need to be done, such as: B. washing or loading the dishwasher. Cell phone pings that announce texts and social media notifications are also luring.
Riggs and her customers try different solutions to see what works. This could include setting a timer to complete 30-minute blocks of focused work, getting a healthy reward for completing work, or establishing accountability partners. Riggs also suggests that customers keep their phones in a different room if possible. If this is not possible, she will ask customers to turn off their notifications. She also advises clients to prepare for the unexpected by allowing some leeway during the day for “blank space” – a block of free, unplanned time – to handle urgent inquiries or time-sensitive tasks.
The mental stress
Working in sub-optimal conditions – or not at all – has posed major challenges for a population already struggling with grief, says Givens. "When we're honest, we all feel a sense of loss: loss of activity, loss of career opportunities, loss of income."
The uncertainty sparked by the pandemic has called into question the coping abilities of many customers, according to Givens. She uses a variety of methods to help, including examining which methods have assisted clients' ability to deal with it in the past. For some people, this means more physical activity, while for others, it means increased (virtual) connection.
Givens also uses cognitive behavioral therapy interventions, e.g. B. the recording of thoughts by clients. Then they look at this together and evaluate what is under the customer's control and what is not. "Many of them see the picture:" I spent four hours a day worrying about something I couldn't control, "she says.
Many of their customers are also frequently involved in disasters and obsessed with what will happen and whether they will die in the pandemic. These concerns are natural, but some customers mentally develop worst-case scenarios, Givens notes. For these clients, she uses a different type of thought record known as evidence record. The concept is the same – customers write down their thoughts and then go through them with Givens – but what they're looking for is evidence to show the likelihood that their worst-case scenarios will become a reality.
All of the practitioners Counseling Today has spoken to in this article urge clients to be patient with themselves as they tackle the myriad of challenges at work during the COVID-19 era. Riggs recommends Kristin Neff's five-minute self-compassion break (a guided version can be found at self-compassion.org/guided-self-compassion-meditations-mp3-2/).
The practice begins with, as Neff puts it, "causing a little suffering" or thinking about something that is currently causing stress or worry. Neff then delivers a series of sentences "which should help us to remember the three components of self-compassion when we need it most."
The first sentence is: "This is a moment of suffering." Or, as Riggs tells her clients: "I'm having a hard time today. I'm fighting."
The second sentence reads: "Suffering is part of life." Riggs describes this as an acknowledgment of the connection with all of humanity: I not only fight, but other people too. I'm not alone.
The third sentence is: "May I be kind to myself at this moment." To be kind to themselves, Neff suggests that listeners place their hand over their heart or any other area on their body that feels soothing, then focus on the warmth of their hand and let that feeling flow through their fingers . She then advises listeners to direct friendly and supportive language towards themselves, e.g. E.g. words they might use with a friend who is in a similar situation – e. B. "I'm here for you." That will be ok. "
At the end of the training session or the “break”, Neff asks the audience to notice how their body feels and to allow themselves to simply “be” with these sensations in the moment.
Riggs also suggests that customers wonder how they would feel better in that moment. "This really is the hardest piece if you don't know what you need," she says. “Do I have to move my body? Do I have to keep a diary? Calling my best friend? Make music? Hug me? "
Finally, Riggs urges customers to remind themselves that the stress or anxiety they are currently experiencing won't last forever – that they won't feel that way forever. At some point that will change.
Amid the suffering caused by the pandemic, Brown sees opportunities for personal growth. "Never before have we … [such a] had a profound opportunity, with that intention, to slow down and focus on life's priorities," she says. “COVID-19 has affected almost everyone on the planet. Countless people live in fear and many have lost family, friends, livelihoods and much more.
“The tragedy is undeniable. Even so, I have always believed that low moments like these may set the stage for meaningful change when we think about what's important and how our choices either aid or hinder our progress. "
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The pandemic and a frayed political climate were also the focus of various cases of workplace bullying. Read more in our exclusive online article “No rest for the bullied”.
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Laurie Meyers is a senior writer for Counseling Today. Contact them at [email protected].
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Opinions and statements in articles appearing on CT Online should not be assumed to reflect the opinions of the editors or guidelines of the American Counseling Association.
