As consultants in the age of COVID-19, we have seen a lot. We have been at the forefront of handling a new wave of counseling crises, from widespread trauma symptoms to an increase in panic attacks.
One such example relates to the fear of parents. This is a term that arises from an increase in parental stress and the accompanying fear of states, businesses and schools reopening.
COVID-19 has changed the daily lives of many parents and carers. These individuals have been forced to make adjustments in key areas of life, including childcare, schooling for children, work dynamics, and social support. These changes lead to deeper concerns and insecurities in many adults.
To best help clients cope with parenting anxiety effectively, we need to understand the phenomenon of who is at risk, what contributes to higher risks, how these issues can be effectively dealt with, and how general health over time Pandemic can be preserved.
What is parental fear?
Clinically, the fear of the parents is comparable to the fear of separation. It involves high levels of fear of opening schools, day care centers, and related activities where parents leave their children in the care of others. It has added components of stress and worry that result from our ongoing transition to a new normal.
For some parents this leads to increased panic attacks, reduced stress tolerance, insomnia, irritability, headache and body aches and exhaustion. It can also lead to an increase in family or parental conflicts, largely based on disagreements about parenting in a pandemic. Conflicts about the transition to school, work or social situations can lead to tension and increase existing differences of opinion.
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Who is at risk?
Every parent or carer is at risk for parental anxiety. From full-time parents to parents who stay at home, any caregiver can develop symptoms of this condition.
Parents who keep their children at home and are preparing to move children back to childcare or school settings outside the home are at higher risk. Parents and caregivers are also at risk for parental anxiety as they prepare to return to the office and take children out of the house on their own.
Additional stress factors or traumatic events can make this condition even more difficult. For example, if clients lost a loved one during the pandemic or know someone with COIVD-19, their symptoms of parenting anxiety may increase. In addition, blacks, indigenous peoples and people of color (BIPOC) may be at increased risk of parental anxiety, as current affairs violations of civil rights and racial trauma have a complex impact on the impact of the pandemic.
What creates these risks?
We all experienced a crisis together. This has been described using many terms including "collective grief" and "collective trauma". When we look at how individual coping is in general, it's no surprise that during great social changes and global problems, there is no way to deal with everything that comes our way. Even those with higher levels of support and stress tolerance can struggle with parenting anxiety.
For this reason, consultants must watch out for clients who seem to be doing well despite the circumstances in the transition to normality. As with other types of trauma and toxic stress, it is common for people to trigger feelings when they are in a safe space. As the transition back to routines and schedules, some parents and caregivers may feel more stable and may release deeply repressed feelings related to the collective sadness and trauma of recent events.
Clients may have been placed in positions of difficulty in order to continue working, parenting, and performing in the various roles they played. Even parents and caregivers who say they are ready to return to work or let children return to school can experience this unexpected flurry of traumatic symptoms.
How can we help parents deal with these symptoms?
In one sentence, healing collective trauma requires collective compassion. It is important to nurture connections and healthy bonds in order to recover from the negative effects of composite events and social problems.
We can offer our clients a safe space to relieve difficult emotions and worries by being empathetic, showing patience and offering psychoeducation about trauma. Counselors can also help clients increase their awareness of feelings related to these issues and offer them measures to reduce stress.
Additionally, empowering customers to talk to their employers, childcare workers, and children's schools about transition plans can help alleviate fear of the unknown. This also helps parents and caregivers make informed decisions that best suit their needs and the needs of their families. With information on transition plans and safety precautions, parents and carers can focus on areas they can control.
In response to the series of physical, psychological and sensory effects of this symptomology, an integrated psychosensory therapy can be advantageous. This therapeutic model includes the use of aspects of physical well-being, such as recommending and referring clients for yoga, exercise classes, and related support services (e.g. physiotherapy / occupational therapy, chiropractic, massage therapy). It includes aspects of psychological wellbeing (the theoretical model of choice). Then sensory considerations are added based on the client's needs. These considerations may be related to lighting and colors (dim light, wearing and background with soothing colors or nature), soft music, and the presence of soothing smells (lavender, lemongrass, etc.). See the figure (below) for model components. The variety of each component added to the next helps clients minimize the effects of trauma in the body and its impact on our functioning.
Even with telemedicine sessions, counselors should consider creative ways to engage clients by allowing them to move around during the sessions.
Other considerations
For many clients, it can be helpful to feel prepared and have a plan to remove some of their added stress and anxiety. However, it is critically important that counselors continue to help clients become flexible in thinking and adaptability, as much about life today is unpredictable.
Finally, consultants also experienced this pandemic. We have also taken the brunt of the burden of addressing mental health needs at a time like no other. In addition, many counselors are also parents or carers. It is important that we take care of ourselves and work for our overall wellbeing. We need to embody the level of inclusive and holistic self-care that we communicate to our customers.
One thing that I have encouraged others to do in these times is to show grace to yourself and others. We must have grace as we overcome these challenges so that we can rise above our circumstances and become resilient.
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Rebekah Lemmons strives to improve outcomes for children, emerging adults, and families. For the past ten years, her practice and research has mainly been in the non-profit sector, with an emphasis on program evaluation, teaching, service management, advice and monitoring of clinicians. Contact them at [email protected].
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