One of the paradoxes in learning how to deal with fear is that you are often prepared for chaos and crises. Oddly enough, when everyone else is affected by the insecurity, you are at home because it is not as far from your everyday reality as it is from yours.
I often joke that people with fear in times of crisis are like early users of the iPhone. We say: "See, that's exactly what I told you! It follows you everywhere; it seems harmless at first and then slowly but surely it ruins your life."
Whether it's the overwhelming feeling of fear and fear of anything and everything, whether you go through hypothetical scenarios obsessively or wake up furiously with your partner in the middle of the night because he has the audacity to be able to sleep through the night, we get it .
For me, this journey started in 2015 after I quit six jobs in four months.
You see, I started a job that I felt was underqualified for, and I waited every day for them to find out that they had made a mistake. The longer they didn't, the more I was sure that my employers were idiots you couldn't trust. So I decided to get a new job, but then I felt underqualified for that job, even though it was a job I had done comfortably in the past, and then I felt underqualified for the next and subsequent job and so on and so on.
Finally, a friend suggested that this was not normal and that I should speak to a therapist. I did and was told that the good news was that I was probably not as bad at work as I thought, and the bad news was that I had an anxiety disorder. Given my ongoing fear of looking incompetent, this is a compromise that I would probably almost make.
Over the next two years, I read every blog, listened to every podcast, and tried every gimmick to suppress the appearance of confidence in my ability to gain the growing arguments I had with my confidence.
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One of the greatest things about living with fear is knowing that it never goes away, but you can learn more productive ways to deal with it.
In a time of crisis, many people will say: "We are all in the same boat", which I don't think is right. We are all forced onto our individual lifeboats; Some of us are in rockier waters than others, others are lucky enough to have literally personal islands to which they can retreat.
As a fearful stand-up comedian, I have the advantage of being forced to spend years in the maintenance and improvement of my metaphorical lifeboat. From breathing techniques and isolation capsules to hardcore psychedelics, I've brought them into the lifeboat, seen how it sank or swam, learned from it, made it better, and made it more comfortable.
For those new to these troubled waters, we'll take a short crash course in the things you can do to deal with your anxiety.
It's worth noting that these aren't the only things you can do, and not all of them are helpful for everyone, but these are the tools that I turn to most often.
The hippies were right, meditation really works.
I know, I know it's a cliché. I spent most of my twenties rolling my eyes, which I thought was hippie nonsense. And even today, long after I discovered the benefits of meditation, I still startle when I hear someone assume that because I am an advocate of meditation, I also have to believe in crystals or zodiac signs. And I still can't stand people pretending that meditation means you'll never feel unhappy again.
But meditation works. In particular, learning to let the early ailments pass – settling in and watching the restlessness and feeling how it naturally subsides – is like strength training your brain. Once you can do this, it is much easier to accept that some things are out of your control and wait for them to go away.
Keep a routine.
Chaos can cause you to want to do everything and nothing at once. It's like trying to run faster to the finish line when you're already exhausted. You want to do everything you can to regain a sense of control at all, but often this just makes you feel immersed in the fact that you can't always control everything.
When I'm scared, I look for things that take my time and create lists of lists that I have to make. Somewhere in my subconscious, I believe that "one of these things will surely work". On the other hand, panicked work is less likely to be done strategically or well. This can contribute to a demotivating feeling of hopelessness.
A routine can make the difference between spiraling and getting up and doing the best you can. Following a routine means that when things get difficult, your muscle memory can turn on and take over.
For me, this means getting up regularly, maintaining standard working hours (even in times of unemployment) and giving time to meditate and run regularly. All of these things help me remove things from my to-do list without ever having to think about them. And the feeling of performance definitely makes it easier to expand beyond your schedule.
If it's really difficult, you can go one step further and list your tasks, even if it's "watching something new on Netflix" and "going to bed at a reasonable time". Seeing things get off the list is not only satisfying, it's also a great way to keep an eye on the fact that things get done over time.
Write things down, you won't regret it.
It's amazing how important a pad and a pen are to me as a comedian. I've always had the habit of writing a half-hour stream of consciousness a day. Free research on paper is often the best way to bring about things deep in your psyche that you haven't thought of and that can lead to great jokes.
Practice has developed into something that is much more therapeutic. It enables me to express myself as often as I need to, without boring someone with the same repetitive thoughts, and often enables me to understand the things that I think and that are related to the emotions that I feel.
Remember to keep in touch.
It is easy to assume that we all know how we feel, but it still helps to share it. With that in mind, go one step further and sign up with people, even people who may not expect this from you. It is always nice to know that someone is thinking of you, and getting to know an old friend or getting to know a new one better can often be a spark that leads to great certainty.
The doctors know their way around.
Sleep, exercise, drink enough water. Everything is easy to forget and just as easy to neglect. The frequency with which I am in a terrible rut just to withdraw and find that I have eaten, drunk and slept poorly is greater than I would like to admit.
So also the basics and your mind will thank you. Even if you have trouble sleeping, exercise and minimizing your alcohol consumption can help. After all, talking to a psychologist can be life-changing, and I highly recommend it.
Know your triggers.
If you know where your head is, you will find that certain things can deter you more. Write down these triggers and learn new ways to respond.
It helps me to avoid macro-level messages. I don't avoid all conversations on any subject that bothers me, but I don't actively look for it and try to direct the conversation into the parts that affect me and the people I speak to personally.
For example, while I don't run away from talks about the COVID 19 pandemic, I definitely avoid any long-term speculation. I don't find it helpful. in fact, I find it overwhelming. Instead, I try to tie every conversation to my current situation with the applicable restrictions.
It's probably different for you, but whatever your triggers, know them, avoid them wherever possible, and be ready to respond if not.
Keep laughing.
Don't lose your sense of humor. Laughing at a fight together can be incredibly cathartic; That's why I love comedy and how I got there. Do not feel guilty if you want to laugh and find humor in difficult moments.
I always found it helpful to learn from people who have followed the path I am in front of. And when it comes to dealing with uncertainty in times of crisis, people who have developed coping mechanisms for dealing with fear are experienced travelers.
And although no amount of blog posts from well-read, secular, and completely humble comedians can ever prevent you from experiencing moments of crisis in your life, learning and implementing the steps above can only help you on it prepare when you deal with them they come.
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