If the work stress becomes overwhelming, a jerky reaction can be to wipe your resume and look for a new job. You can even dream of going out and throwing in the towel to free yourself from a micromanagement boss, an aggressive colleague, or an unrealistic workload.
But will the problem be solved by leaving a stressful work situation?
Not always. Professional counselors say that leaving work without considering the overall picture of what bothers you at work and in your private life may not resolve all of your complaints.
Stress can reappear quickly if a person changes jobs to a position that does not suit them or does not address the underlying problems that affect their mental health, such as unprocessed grief or past trauma, says Sharon Givens. a licensed professional advisor (LPC) who specializes in career development and mental health.
“We need to make sure we understand the root cause of a customer's stress. Consider the long-term situation, not just the transition to leaving a toxic situation, ”says Givens, whose private practice has offices in Columbia, South Carolina, and Charlotte, North Carolina. "They have to move to a place they can maintain, not just take a step."
The role of a consultant should never be to suggest that a client leave or stay at a particular job. However, a counselor can be a guide and support when a client steps down to assess what is out of balance in their life and create goals to focus on the life they want to live, said Givens, elected president of the National Career Development Association, a division of the American Counseling Association.
"We can evaluate what this job means for this person [the client] and evaluate what this job means for this person," agrees Quentin Hunter, a licensed professional advisor who advises clients in a rural area of Kentucky. "What is the job like and what does it require? Is your stress unusual, constant or does it change – and can you make changes? "
Hunter acknowledges that some clients may not be able to leave a position if job opportunities are scarce in their area, especially if their financial situation cannot sustain the transition until paychecks come from a new employer. Consultants can help these clients make healthier decisions about their stay, Hunter says. "You can stay because you have reasons and not just without purpose."
For some clients who come to counseling for help dealing with work-related stress, "work may just not be negotiable," added A. Renée Staton, LPC and professor in counseling at James Madison University in Harrisonburg , Virginia. "There may be no way out because this is the only opportunity, the only game in town. It is important to recognize that this is a reality for many of our customers."
Consultants can "give clients the space to acknowledge that this is [work situation] difficult … and normalize that feelings come and go [stressful]and we deserve our own self-care and respect when we face these challenges encounter, "says Staton
In client meetings, Givens relies on a number of advisory tools that help clients understand how their work affects them and make the best decision for them based on facts rather than emotions.
“We take a step back and look at the variables of what they can and cannot change. After I find out, I'll ask, "What do you think is best for you?" She says. “I put the question back to them so that they can ultimately make the decision. It has to be based on symptoms and facts and not on "I feel like". [We look at] What actually happens, what are the symptoms and what are your options? "
Finding solutions
Jennifer Linnekaste, an LPC who specializes in career counseling and helps clients with work-related trauma in their practice in Oslo, Norway, remembers a client who worked in an engineering office and came to her because he was in the EU stagnated position, which he held for 15 years. "Tom" (not his real name) felt like he had no energy. He was afraid of getting new projects at work and "an endless series of meetings that felt senseless to him," said Linnekaste, associate professor (teaching online) at Regent University in Virginia Beach and Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia.
Discussions in consultations showed that Tom had a career as an engineer because he was interested in design and creativity. However, his professional role had evolved from the more creative, collaborative aspects that he enjoyed when he started working for the company. About five years earlier, the new management had adopted and introduced new technologies that enabled employees to work online and connect remotely.
“First, Tom said that he occasionally checked e-mails in the evening after [his] children had settled down or were in bed. Then expectations started to rise, ”Linnekaste recalls. “There was a lot more documentation, and he was put in a job that included more quality control – checking that the people under him had done their job. He said he hated that. Soon he was in middle management and was responsible for ensuring that others met their deadlines. As someone who pretended to be a perfectionist, Tom was concerned about whether his team members would deliver. It started consuming him and worried about whether the project would be completed because he was the one responsible for it. His manager was a positive but uncomplicated leader. As a result, Tom didn't feel like he had the tools to manage things well. He also had problems communicating with those below and above him. "
After a particularly stressful meeting with his manager, Tom reported that he felt completely overwhelmed and unable to do his job. After the meeting, he said to Linnekaste, he “just went out the door and never wanted to work there again. When I asked how he held out to this point, he said sheer willpower and the fear of not having a job. I knew it would survive rather than thrive. "
“He came to me because he wondered if he should just go and start over somewhere, but he had several concerns: 1) He liked the company and the people he mostly worked with; 2) He was paid well; 3) He wasn't sure if the "grass on the other side was greener". and 4) He wasn't sure if he would be happy if he changed something, ”says Linnekaste. “To help him make the decision, I needed a good conceptualization of the problem and more information to get ahead. We agreed on one thing: Maintaining the status quo was not sustainable [for] its mental health. "
From there, Linnekaste went into consultation with Tom for a complete assessment and asked about his personal and family life, his values and role models. The more they talked, the more it became clear that Tom was unhappy because he had lost the ability to be creative at work – one of his most valuable qualities.
With this guide, Linnekaste helped Tom develop a plan for finding creative work. The first step was to contact your manager and explain that his talents are best for creative work, not for managing others. He wanted to ask if there were different roles or tasks within the company that would allow creativity and design. If his company didn't allow him to change his role, Tom would start looking for and applying for jobs that offer creativity.
When Tom returned for advice after contacting his manager, Linnekaste recalls that he smiled as he talked about how well the conversation had gone. His manager had understood and mentioned a new contract that involved developing a new product.
"Tom told his manager that he was struggling with the management part but did not want to be downgraded, so the manager indicated that he would enroll him on a management course and assign him a deputy manager to do the work related to quality assurance and benchmarks. Tom looked energetic and excited, "recalls Linnekaste. He said, 'You know, I forgot how much cooking was a passion for me. Last week I was in enrolled in a cooking class because I felt better about work. I also told my wife that I want to have friends for dinner once a month. We could have themed dinners where I try different main dishes and they provide the side dishes "When I asked about emails etc. after work, he said that they [didn’t] are now overwhelming feel to answer. He said he would set a hard limit [was] not to work on weekends, but he [felt] was energetic to take on his new project. "
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Related Reading
You can find more information on helping customers with work stress in today's March title article "Help Wanted: Dealing with Work Stress".
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Bethany Bray is a senior writer for Counseling Today. Contact her at [email protected]
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