A good book has been an unwavering companion for my whole life. Sometimes literature has given me a reason to step back from a busy life and retreat to the much-needed introverted space. In other cases, it has given me a safe haven, the company of imperfect but lovable characters, a deep emotional awakening of empathy, or a connection with a part of me that I had not previously recognized.
When clients walk into my office (or click on our telemedicine sessions these days) I hope to offer many of the same things that a good book has provided for me. I hope that you feel heard and emotionally connected – both to yourself and to me, your advisor. As a consultant, I think it is important that we take into account the parallels between the offers of strong literature and the interpersonal healing context of therapy. I say this because literature can be a solid addition to therapy, a tool for self-exploration, and also because literature can offer ourselves as imperfect humans. As a writer and editor, I am not only a consultant, but also keep the links between therapy and the written word close.
In the 2002 novel The Secret Lives of Bees (my favorite novel), Sue Monk Kidd welcomes readers to accept things that might sting through writing that is full of gentle metaphors. It uses elements of the writer's craft to highlight an "invisible assertion" – the statement at the center of the writing and takeaway that the writer wants to share with the reader.
The invisible claim in Kidd's novel reflects the work of therapy in many ways, especially internal family systems (IFS) therapy. To further explore the parallels between therapeutic self-exploration and writing, I will focus on IFS.
As Richard Schwartz and Martha Sweezy write in their second edition of Internal Family Systems Therapy 2020, this approach to therapy includes the concepts that everyone has internal parts, that all parts are valuable (although they can be restricted or stressed), and that everyone at its core has a self with the ability to lead. Acceptance and curiosity are at the heart of IFS as a therapeutic approach. The same things are at the heart of the secret life of bees. Just as we can use various techniques in therapy to achieve curiosity and acceptance, Kidd uses elements of writing to demonstrate that we love the things that might sting us.
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Close-up photo of honey bees flying in and out of a beehive
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Immersion in the beehive
In Chapter 5, the white protagonist Lily and her black companion Rosaleen find refuge with the black beekeeper August Boatwright and her sisters after running away from a racially motivated incident and a tough home. As 14-year-old Lily begins to grapple with the accident that killed her mother years ago and the intricate feelings she feels about her family and herself, Kidd brings to light (or maybe to dark), their interpersonal relationships, and the effects of racism. Using the beekeeping metaphor, Kidd introduces the reader to the invisible claim to love the things that might sting us. This metaphor, coupled with Kidd's use of darkness and place, allows readers to delve into the parallels between the elements of writing and the inner growth of the characters in the story.
In this chapter, Kidd begins to clarify the role of the bees, which play such a prominent role as a metaphor in the book. At the opening of the novel and before arriving at the beekeeper's house, Lily sees bees in her bedroom. Each chapter begins with a different fact about beehives to set up the events to come. August, the primary beekeeper, shares the "apiary etiquette" with Lily:
She shouldn't be afraid, but "Still, don't be an idiot; wear long sleeves and long pants."
You shouldn't hit.
She should whistle when she's angry.
Above all: “Send love to the bees. Every little thing wants to be loved. "
This is really the heart of the novel, although readers may not know it yet because they haven't learned about all of the things that can sting. However, by discussing "apiary etiquette," August provides the framework for understanding Kidd's invisible claim woven through the novel: that we can (and should) love the things that might sting us; that even these dangerous things – outside of us, like the bees, or inside us, like our emotions or our story – deserve love.
Into the darkness
The bees are not the only potential danger that Kidd encourages readers to love. The darkness also plays a prominent role. The chapter begins by stating that if we could follow a bee into its hive, the first thing we would have to do is adjust to the darkness. After Kidd realizes that bees do their work in the dark, she enables her characters to have important moments in the dark too. How clear is it when she writes that August "lets out a sigh that floats into the darkness" and later, when August and Lily walk back to the house, when "the darkness has settled in and fireflies sparkle around our shoulders," offers the Darkness provides a framework for letting go and experiencing gentleness after work. In the dark, the characters can give freedom to their emotions and acknowledge their secrets.
At the end of the chapter, Lily walks to the wailing wall in the starlight, where she can acknowledge her feelings towards her mother and hopes to let her go. She says, "I … have studied the darkness and tried to see through it to a streak of light." While it is not yet clear to Lily, Kidd makes it clear to readers that real vision will take place in the dark, not in the search for the light. By creating this awareness and sharing the character's secrets, Kidd makes readers feel like they are like the dark themselves. Similarly, in therapy, we sit with them in the darkness of our clients and create the emotional space in which they can develop insights.
In addition to the literal darkness of the night, Kidd uses the darkness of racism as an element of history and as an element of personal growth for Lily. It is noteworthy that Kidd addresses racism directly in the story while writing about darkness (as mentioned above) in a way that does not malign it. So much literature equates darkness with malice and is grouped in gradients of skin color. Kidd defies this norm by openly wading into the darkness of the night and the racial awareness of the protagonist grows.
In this chapter, Lily overhears August talking to her sister June about the lack of acceptance others might have for Lily and Rosaleen, and points out, "Who will take her in if we don't – a white girl and a negress? Nobody around here. "
Every character, including Lily, is well aware of the effects of the race. She becomes even more aware of this when she is surrounded by black women and men in her new environment. She becomes aware of the racism around, between and within them.
Lily hears June naming Lily's white until August and tells the reader, "This was a great revelation – not that I was white, but that it looked like June didn't want me here because of the color of my skin . "
She later explains: "Most of the time I was upset with June's demeanor … There was no difference between my piss and June's" and later still said, "I felt white and confident sitting there , especially with June in the room. Confident and ashamed. "
Lily is aware of the human similarities between herself and June, as well as the differences and her own privilege as a white person. By exploring racism – with all its metaphorical spikes – Lily can better understand herself and fully engage with her fellow human beings, including June. In some pages, Kidd unpacks the immense growth and personal exploration of Lily's understanding of race and leads readers to understand racism as another aspect of the invisible assertion.
In the midst of the unpacking of racism, Kidd uses interpersonal (and intrapersonal) relationships to deepen the invisible claim to love what might sting. The Boatwright sisters show their love for one another, even if they don't always like each other, and August shows unwavering love by greeting Lily. In return, Lily admits that "I wanted to make her love me so that she would keep me forever."
At first Lily refuses to accept herself in order to be loved until August. However, she later uses August's acceptance as a model to accept herself. This is first shown in Lily's acknowledgment of her anger and grief towards her mother at the end of the chapter when Lily visits May's Wailing Wall. She says, "I put my hands on the stones and just didn't want to hurt so much." But instead of rejecting her feelings, she puts a newspaper with her mother's name in a corner in the wall. Lily begins to accept the difficult feelings and pain that comes with them, just as August and the other sisters work to accept and love one another despite the potential for pain.
In a similar way, clients in IFS therapy get to know their inner parts, including the parts that have the potential to sting. As consultants, we are able to model acceptance and curiosity, two things that clients may begin to evolve towards their internal parts. And as healers, we are constantly doing our own work to accept our inner parts and emotions.
Every detail of Kidd's writing reflects the invisible claim, including the locations listed in this chapter. Two of the main points of the chapter are about the acceptance of an emotion or activity. First, the reader learns about May's Wailing Wall, where May (and later Lily) write their problems on paper and stick them in crevices between the rocks. The wall was created for May to provide an exit for grief and becomes a symbol of grief and sadness. The characters can accept these difficult emotions by connecting with the Western Wall. Second place is by the beehives, where Lily and August are at risk from bee stings and the trouble they can cause.
Each of these places has a difficult emotion or activity associated with it, but each also has the potential for growth by engaging with the place. The Western Wall allows for grief to be accepted and let go, while the hives allow for tolerance to anger and room for love.
Kidd explores the typically dangerous metaphors of bees and darkness (literal darkness as well as the darkness of racism and inner difficult emotions) and invites readers to explore them in the same gentle way to which August welcomes Lily and Rosaleen your home. In bringing place and metaphor to life, Kidd clearly establishes the invisible claim that the difficult things around us and within us – the things that we believe might sting or harm us – are actually worthy of love and can promote growth. Kidd seamlessly blends the invisible claim into the narrative, guiding readers through a metaphorical parallel to the plot and character growth that takes place in this chapter.
These elements of writing – the use of metaphor, darkness, relationships between characters and location – each reinforce the book's emotional remembrance of loving the things that might sting us. In therapy we work to achieve the same result with our clients, although in therapy the things that can sting are often inner parts of oneself.
What's on your bookshelf?
Diving into these details of the text has further enhanced my own understanding of why I associate myself with the characters in the book and the alluring darkness that Kidd writes about. I have shared the secret life of bees with clients as a complement to our work, to process what they might connect with in the text.
I encourage other therapists to look at their bookshelves and consider what novels (or poems or other genres) influenced them as a person. What about those books that resonated with you? Taking this into account can be useful for your own self-exploration and also provide insight into your work with clients.
My love of reading extends my work as a consultant. Not all literature requires an in-depth explanation in order to understand its implications for the reader. And not all literature agrees with therapy as well as the secret life of bees. That being said, I highlight these details of Kidd's writing to show how we can use the elements of literature to better understand our work and the depth of our own humanity.
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Johanna Bond is a licensed mental health counselor with Perspectives Mental Health Counseling PLLC (Perspectivesroc.com) in Rochester, New York. She also works as a freelance editor at Perspectives & # 39; Pen, providing editorial services for creative, academic and therapy-oriented writing. Her letter has been published on the New York Times Well blog and on HuffPost. She is currently blogging for Psychology Today. For more updates, visit johannabond.com or Twitter: @johannambond.
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