"The greatest gifts you can give someone are your time, love, and attention." ~ Unknown
The other day I saw this phrase on social media: "Spread friendliness, not COVID-19." And I started thinking about how contagious kindness is, which reminded me of a viral video I've always loved:
A skateboard child falls and a construction worker helps him up. The child then sees an elderly woman struggling with shopping bags and helps her carry them across the street. This woman then gives coins to a woman at a parking meter who searches her purse. And on and on it goes – an act of kindness sweeps through town as each person passes it on to another.
I think we could all use a little more love and kindness now. We could all remember that even in difficult times, people care. And that's what really matters. Not that we have everything we want, but we have everything we need because people take care of us.
And really, I think that's the basis of kindness: paying attention. Noticing when people are having problems, when they need an ear, or when they could use a little encouragement or motivation to keep moving forward. Noticing the good in people and recognizing what we see.
In our easily distracted world, a little attention is really the best gift we can give anyone because we all want to feel seen, heard, appreciated and understood. Ultimately, even the toughest challenges feel a lot easier knowing that we are not alone.
Below, I've listed a handful of COVID-friendly ideas for practicing mindful kindness and making someone smile. Day, it's you – pass on the good vibes!
1. Ask someone to tell you the best thing about what has happened to them recently, or something they are excited or passionate about, and listen carefully.
Most people love to talk about themselves and their passions, but we don't always get the opportunity to do so, especially when the people around us are busy or stressed and are unable to fully listen. Have someone talk about something you know will make them shine and ask questions so they can go into the details and show that you really care.
2. Notice when someone uses one of their strengths and pay them a compliment.
We all have strengths, but we don't always recognize them, maybe because they feel like second nature to us, or we assume that other people do whatever is better.
Tell someone they are a great listener if they are set to speak, or admire their empathy when defending someone that others gossip about, or love their ingenuity and entrepreneurship when they are Discussing a new business idea that they are thinking about.
3. Scan your surroundings today for things that remind you of people you love and text them so you know you thought of them and why.
This is a win / win situation because when you look for things around you that make you think of people you love, you get ripped out of your head and drawn into the moment. And when they share these things with other people, they feel valued and loved.
Use all your senses for this one. Maybe it's the smell of a particular food that brings you back to some amazing meal that you shared with a friend. Or it's a song on the radio that you and your sister obsessed over in high school. Or it is the feeling of snow crunching under your shoes that reminds you of a particularly unforgettable ski trip with your cousin.
4. Tell someone why you are grateful for them and write down something specific about their character or something they have recently done.
We all have a natural negative tendency, which means that we are more likely to focus on our mistakes, flaws and shortcomings than on all the good we do and the value we offer the people around us – which is why a little recognition can go a long way.
Some time ago my sister posted a meme with the Tinman holding a heart on my Facebook page because that was the character I played for a decade when she and I were on Wizard of Oz shows when we were young performed at children's birthday parties. The wording was "For anyone who feels unloved today, I love you."
In the description my sister wrote: “I saw this and immediately thought of you (for several reasons). You are the most incredible and empathetic person I know … and you exude so much love for everyone (especially for me). The world is unlucky to have you in it, and nobody has a bigger heart than you. I love you. "
I can't remember ever seeing myself, feeling valued and loved like this!
5. Recognize someone in your life who is doing something hard and let them know that you are proud of them and why.
Maybe this is someone in your household who balances work and parenting and thinks that he is failing – even though he gives both of them everything. Or maybe it's a kid who is great at online learning while missing their friends and usual activities. Bonus if you have a small "I'm proud of you" gift that can be as small as a coffee or hot chocolate, however the person likes it.
6. Tell someone in the service industry – a postman, grocery clerk, or other important worker – that they do a great job and why.
I know some key employees who have had uncomfortable pandemic experiences, either due to mask-related confrontations or because customers put their stress on them. Take a minute to recognize the wonderful job someone is doing and let them know exactly why you appreciate their efforts, whether it is their skills, expertise, energy, or kindness, which he brings to the people he serves.
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7. If someone around you seems overwhelmed, ask if they would like to relax for a few minutes without speaking and listen to some of their favorite songs.
I don't know about you, but I always feel good listening to my favorite music, but I don't always think that I need to take a few minutes to relax and turn on some tunes when I'm on Feel the urgency to get things done. It's a simple thing that only takes a few minutes, but it can rejuvenate wonderfully!
8. Take photos of things that make you laugh or smile today and write them on people you love.
This is another win / win because you will likely notice things that make you smile, that you would not have noticed if you had not consciously looked for them, and you will smile or laugh at someone else when they least expect it.
I remember writing my brother a picture of a tree that seemed to have a…. male body part. I know, very immature, but also very funny! I wrote to him: "Look, a Treenis!" and we both had a good laugh.
9. Compliment someone on a part of the body – for its function, not what it looks like – when you notice them doing something they may not see as impressive.
For example, tell someone that you are amazed by the strength of their arms when they lift something heavy, or that you are impressed with their endurance after a long workout. Or, while chugging water or eating a kale salad, tell someone that you are really inspired by how well they take care of themselves and how it helps them stay healthy and strong.
10. Spend at least fifteen minutes today to do something that is fun and puts you in a state of flux.
This list would not be complete without a careful act of kindness to ourselves! I don't know about you, but sometimes I think, "I'll relax when I'm done …" and then I find the time never comes. To make sure I'm practicing self-care, I have to schedule it in between all the things I need to do.
Some of my favorite flow activities are walking outside, coloring in an adult coloring book, doing some yoga poses, and singing along to show music. Find your flow as you can. Do something childlike. Do something funny. Do something pointless. Give yourself a chance to relax and enjoy yourself because you work hard and you deserve it! And even if you don't work hard, you still deserve it just because you are you.
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I hope these ideas inspire you to spread a little more love in your home and in your virtual sphere of influence! And I'd love to hear ideas to add to the list – or stories of kindness you've seen or experienced recently.
Just sharing your story is an act of kindness because you never know who might inspire or uplift.
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To make us feel more present and peaceful, I am currently running a Christmas sale for my newly launched Mindfulness Kit, which includes four aromatherapy-based products for stress relief and relaxation and three FREE bonus guides for daily rest. For a limited time, it's available for $ 29 (usually $ 45). I hope it brings a little serenity to you or the people you love!
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