Are you looking for tips on how to gain confidence?
I recently had the inspiration to interview people I know and admire (including mentors, professional contacts, and people in my personal network) who are confident and confident about taking action, taking risks, facing fears to ask and do things in a life meaningful, important and joyful to them.
I wanted to LEARN …
HOW did you resolve self-doubts, self-esteem problems, or self-confidence problems?
WHAT helped you build your trust?
These case studies come from an even mix of extroverts and introverts, men and women, spanning an age span of 50 years and spanning different countries, upbringing, experiences, life challenges and careers.
9 common topics for building trust
From the conversations with these friendly people, who shared their experiences with me, 9 common topics emerged. I have summarized these below for easy reference:
Self acceptance
Mindset, attitude and self-talk
Positive feedback from other people (praise, support, feedback)
Love what you do
A healthy perspective on risk, fear, and failure
Draw strength from previous life challenges
trust
Take small steps
Connect with your inner self regularly
The purpose of this article is to share the notes (below) from my conversations with these people (informal short interviews) so that you can get a glimpse into the reality of people who have overcome and are self-doubt and second guesswork able to stand in this world with confidence for who they really are and to do what they really want with their precious life. We can all learn a lot from each other if we take the time to have important conversations!
Lessons learned from conversations with self-confident people
Person # 1
How much does self-acceptance have to do with your trust?
It's a big part of it. When I didn't accept parts of myself, I could fake trust, but never really felt that deep trust. Once I accepted myself, I felt more compassionate about myself, and of course it made me feel more comfortable with other people. I think I stopped worrying that other people would "find out" that I had flaws, weaknesses, or "bad" parts because I had already made friends with those parts of myself and wasn't afraid of my humanity admit. So I was no longer afraid that others would see me fully.
What made the difference between being able to accept yourself (how did you do it) and feeling safe?
When I realized that you have to live with yourself around the clock and that life is a long journey, I got tired of arguing with myself. It's like I have a little fight on your own head. So I integrated positive thinking and positive self-talk. This of course creates more self-acceptance and self-confidence.
What were the main factors that helped build trust and generally feel good about yourself in daily life, and what gave you the confidence to do new things that were important to you?
Positive self-talk was really important. I realized that everyone is busy finding their own way in this world and that you cannot rely on other people to build your own self-esteem. If you don't commit yourself, you may run a huge risk of sitting around waiting for others to do it for you. I also got tired of hearing dubious, fearful thoughts in my head, so I focused very much on aligning my mindset with empowerment and confidence.
I fully accept myself and know that it is okay to have flaws and weaknesses, that it is okay not to know everything, and that we are all allowed to make mistakes. These things don't make us any less of a person, they just make us human, and I realized that anyone who hides these things about themselves seems either to have a bravery to hide them or to withdraw for fear of these aspects I realized that if I accept the disorder of being human and am not afraid to acknowledge it to myself and others, I have nothing to fear or hide, and I feel so much freer and more confident.
Mentors / friends / family who believed in me and tell me what I am capable of, amplify what I read and how I train my mind. That's why I no longer tolerate being with people who are judgmental or negative, and I only spend my time with like-minded people as much as possible.
Fitness / exercise as it increases my mood. Knowing that I am doing things to be good and strong in my physical body helps me feel good about myself.
Facing my fears and doing things I'm afraid of and overcoming them has boosted my confidence. By taking action and doing new things, I have become more familiar with risks and uncertainties and have found that I am much more capable than I thought I would be before.
I base myself on my belief – that a loving divine intelligence made me who I am for a reason. I would rather trust in this Upper Force (which produced all the wonders I see around me every day) than trust my own little noise, doubt, fear, or judgment!
Which areas of your life have improved because of these confidence enhancers?
Health (less stress, less anxiety).
Career / work (more enjoyable, still doing the same things, but with more fun and less fear). Take on bigger projects and try hard to believe in me more.
Lifestyle has improved a lot as it is ready to make changes and break new ground at various points in life.
Person # 2
How much does self-acceptance have to do with your trust?
Self-acceptance is massive. It's everything when it comes to being confident. Naturally, when you are at peace with yourself and love who you are, you will naturally become confident. It is less important to you when you fail at something because you know that even when you fail you will still love yourself.
What made the difference between being able to accept yourself (how did you do it) and feeling safe?
Resilience gives you self-acceptance.
Let the bad stuff in your life be a chapter in your book and then let go of it.
I reflect on the losses, grief, and life challenges I've faced and I know that life will never be this bad again. Life difficulties come with life lessons in them, take the lessons and there is nothing to be afraid of. This resilience has helped me accept and accept life itself and therefore be more confident about what life brings.
We have a choice in life, especially in these difficult times, of turning around and jerking you off or letting you get up and move on.
It is important to acknowledge and accept that life is not a dress rehearsal. We have a chance and when you find yourself getting upset about what you want to do.
What were the most important factors that contributed to the fact that you generally build and feel self-confidence in everyday life?
Getting results and surrounding myself with things that I love and I know that I can have those things because I achieved what I wanted to do to achieve them. So that's satisfying. Achieving results in and of itself gives me confidence, and then seeing how the benefits of those results work out is fun. Whether it's growing a small tree in the garden that has taken years to grow, care for and produce fruit from it until you can buy beautiful material things.
People I trust say to me, "You're great at XYZ," and that builds my confidence. I take a moment to realize what others see in me that I don't see for myself. It helps me feel safe.
People sometimes say "I want your trust", but I think what they really say: "I wish I was brave". That courage they want circles back to the fact that we have a shot at life.
Do not forget how far you have come, all steps can be seen as victories.
It sounds clichéd, but life is a journey, we have to take courage, become aware of the reality that we will all die one day, so go ahead and make the most of it, including the worst of times.
Write down what you really want to do and what you are so passionate about. Then ask yourself why are you NOT doing this? We can so easily get involved in what society dictates and what success should look like. I have noticed that when confident people are considering doing something new they say, "How can I do this and when?". On the other hand, people who seem to be lacking in self-confidence say, "How could I?"
Surround yourself with people who remind you that you are capable and who ask you good questions.
Wondering WHAT IS TRUST FOR YOU? Does your trust just feel good about who you are? It's not about being confident about others, or about behaving in a certain way that you think is consistent with other people who are confident. Trust can emerge calmly and be okay with yourself, even in situations where you don't know anyone or anything.
What do you do you have the confidence to do new things that were important to you?
Feel the fear and do it anyway. I like to ask, "What could possibly go wrong?" Early in my career I was taught, "If someone says no to you, life isn't over. If you fail, it doesn't mean the ground will open up and swallow you up." Once you've done something, it builds confidence, failure is growth, and you get used to taking action. Be okay when you fail when no one wants to, the point is to understand that it's okay to make mistakes.
Which areas of your life have improved because you supported yourself to be confident?
Trust gives me the freedom, the freedom to know if I'm stuck, I could pull myself out if I had to get a job, and if I needed something I could find out, if I had to be alone, I could . I am confident that I am resourceful and capable. I believe in myself.
Person # 3
How much does self-acceptance have to do with your trust? How do you increase this self-acceptance?
It doesn't matter who I'm with, I'm as good as the next person, nobody is better or worse than me, it doesn't matter if they are better educated or smarter, we are always the same.
My career was a difficult job, it is not a matter of course to be able to carry out this work successfully. You have to believe in yourself like no one else will, so confidence is key.
I would think about what the worst scenarios could be and that helps keep things in view.
In order to maintain self-acceptance, you should also stay away from negative people! You don't have to be with confident people as such, just not with toxic people.
What were the most important factors that contributed to the fact that you generally build and feel self-confidence in everyday life? W gave you the confidence to do new things that were important to you?
I have taken risks and great risks that could have gone bad but they weren't and these things made me more confident so that through action I have built trust over the years.
Growing up I learned that it takes you there to work hard on things and not give up. That's why I had faith in this philosophy.
When I did something new, I was confident because I never went head over heels. I always start small and take small steps, experiment and take small risks. If it looks okay, I'll move on. So you don't have to dive head first.
It is important to LOVE what you do, this joy gives you confidence. I've always loved what I've done and I think that gave me confidence.
Which areas of your life have improved because of these confidence enhancers?
I have peace. A great sense of peace from this way of living and my confidence, I don't stick with things, I just keep going and love what I do.
Person # 4
What were the main factors that helped build trust and generally feel good about yourself in daily life, and what gave you the confidence to do new things that were important to you?
My self-confidence was boosted when I noticed repeated signs / messages from life that supported the feeling of what I wanted to do. This makes me feel like I'm not alone and helps me to trust my idea and have trust.
My self-confidence was also strengthened by the fact that other people believed in me and saw in me the person who would be able to do more and greater things. They told me so so that I could see myself differently and feel more secure.
When it comes to confidence doing new things, I noticed that I would get inspiration for great things that are possible for me in my life, but then I heard a self-doubt that thought it was too big or too too big is difficult for me. Then another inspiration comes to mind which is an idea of a tiny little step that I could take. So it's like my intuition or creative inspiration is showing me something easier to get started with, where I don't have to worry about the size of the bigger picture.
Which areas of your life have improved because of these confidence enhancers?
All of this helped me to follow my calling / passion. Because I am following my calling and now doing the work and creative endeavors that I love, I am happier and all other areas of my life have improved because I am now more than my real self.
Person No. 5
How much does self-acceptance have to do with your trust?
Everything. To realize that you are allowed to have weaknesses and flaws, and everyone does, and that it is important to accept yourself anyway. This helps you like yourself more, accept yourself, and feel confident.
What were the most important factors that contributed to the fact that you generally build and feel self-confidence in everyday life?
Gratitude is so important. Every day I give thanks for all the blessings in my life, including small things. It makes me feel good about myself and realize that no matter what happens in life, or what I do or don't do, I have these basic things in my life that I can be thankful for. These things are good and reliable.
It is also very helpful to surround myself with positivity, good people and positive messages.
What gave you the confidence to do new things that were important to you?
I could do new things in my life with confidence knowing that difficult times make you stronger. When you have overcome challenges, you find that you get smarter, stronger, smarter and can face anything. So it's less scary to accept new things or changes. When you do new things and realize that you are fine, think, "What's the worst that can happen?"
Mindset and attitude are also important to have the right prospects.
And surrounding myself with people who believe in me and have a positive attitude is really important.
Which areas of your life have improved because of these confidence enhancers?
Everything. Relationships. Happiness. Wellbeing.
Person # 6
How much does self-acceptance have to do with your trust?
Everything.
What made you accept yourself (how did you do it) to feel safe?
I focus on the things that I'm good at and use these to use myself for other things that I haven't done and are not good at, to give myself more confidence.
Don't talk negatively to myself, strengthen myself through positive self-talk and be my best supporter.
What were the most important factors that contributed to the fact that you generally build and feel self-confidence in everyday life?
Exercise and fitness regularly help me feel good, and that boosts my confidence.
It was very helpful to focus on mastering my mindset, noticing and being able to change unhelpful beliefs, thoughts, and self-talk.
As I develop my skills in different areas of my life to gain knowledge and exert myself over time, you can be sure as you get better at something – be it cooking, exercising, or the skills in mine Job. Making these efforts and getting better with every step gives you a feeling of confidence and satisfaction.
What gave you the confidence to do new things that were important to you, such as goals, projects or life changes?
Knowing that the risk of trying something new is small and there is no real downside to trying even if you fail as you are always learning something new, so nothing to lose, especially if you are smart, how to make changes with small steps.
Which areas of your life have improved because of these confidence enhancers?
All areas of my life are better because of more self-confidence!
Person No. 7
How much does self-acceptance have to do with your trust?
A lot! Self-acceptance has definitely come with age too. As I got older, I accepted that we are all unique and individual people. And as you get older, you can feel more confident about your difference compared to other people and consider it a strength without judging your differences.
As you get older, you grow, develop and go through CHALLENGES, and these things make you stronger.
Even if you do not have confidence in the midst of these challenges, they will build your confidence later.
In the midst of life challenges, if you don't accept yourself or are not confident, feel insecure, question yourself, it's okay because when you come through another side you stand stronger.
What made the difference between being able to accept yourself (how did you do it) and feeling safe?
Learn lessons from the challenges I have faced in life.
Also my relationships with my children. I get positive feedback from my kids (and from other adults too) which has really helped me accept myself. My children are the first to accept me and tell me that they accept and love me. They see me that way and I didn't see myself that way, so it adjusted my perception of myself.
I also see OTHER people in life who have their individuality and observe how they are sure of their uniqueness, and that enables me to see that I can accept myself as different from others and accept that.
Spend time with people who are similar to you as you discover that there is a group of people who are identical to you. Who I spend time with is the key, it lifts my vibration and that helps me accept that other part of myself!
What were the most important factors that contributed to the fact that you generally build and feel self-confidence in everyday life?
Reading self-help books really helped me feel more confident. It led to my practicing mindfulness and practices of self-love. I follow, read, and ingest positive messages on social media, exposing myself to positive statements that help align my mindset.
I also use self-love activities that have cultivated peace and tranquility, such as yoga, nature, walks on the beach, deep breathing, and hot baths – all of these have also helped promote self-acceptance and confidence!
What gave you the confidence to do new things that were important to you, like new goals, projects or taking risks?
The reason I am confident that I will achieve my goals and projects is that I believe in what I am doing. I don't do things in my life and don't follow paths unless I'm really passionate and enjoy it. From this love and intuition about what I am doing, it strengthens my self-confidence.
Which areas of your life have improved because of these confidence enhancers?
I am more self-confident as a parent now. That confidence helped me be a better person with my kids. As a parent, I had previously felt judged by others, society, and other parents, so I needed to be more confident, and that helped my parenting role.
I choose to be confident so that I can be strong for my children when they need me. I stand up for my children and have grown in this role and ability by cultivating my own self-confidence.
Person No. 8
How much do you think self-acceptance has to do with your trust?
I actually have the feeling that my trust comes from my self-acceptance. The more I have accepted myself, the more secure I feel. The safer I am, the more I accept myself! They support each other so yeah I think they are related to each other.
What helped you to accept yourself (to increase your self-confidence)?
I am committed to my personal, spiritual and professional development and growth. I realize that it is a journey and I accept myself more and more as I grow and change and develop. I accept and have more compassion for all parts of me. The more I do that, the less judgmental and impatient I am with myself. This supports my self-confidence and belief in myself.
What are the most important things that have made a difference for you in building, maintaining and self-confidence in everyday life?
Cultivating and balancing my inner and outer world has made a significant difference in maintaining and building on my trust. Inside, the more I am more calm and lighter and more connected with myself, the more I connect with the truth of who I am, my spiritual essence, divinity and my heart. This centered place is a place of trust, acceptance, power, peace and love. This is more and more a priority for me in life. As a result, my outside world including my work, expression, relationships, and contribution is rooted in my trust and deeper knowledge of who I am. I trust and allow this and it strengthens my confidence and my energy.
In relation to important life goals, risks, projects, big changes … what gave you the confidence to do such new things?
Feel the fear and do it anyway! I often felt insecure, lacking in self-confidence, and scared as I entered new relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc. However, since I value growth and learning, and am a bit rebellious and not afraid to take risks, I have often jumped into the unknown and grew as a result.
By doing exactly what scared me, over time I developed trust and belief in myself.
I'd rather create my life and take the risk that things won't work (sometimes they don't and I've made mistakes).
However, I am more capable than ever and know and believe in myself because I took this risk.
In a certain way I felt called to my greatness and listened to this calling, despite the times when I felt invisible. It takes courage and also the right support in your life. It's worth it and I've found that I'm worth it.
In your opinion, which specific areas of your life have significantly improved due to your ability to proactively boost / strengthen your self-confidence?
With self-acceptance, self-love and an obligation to be self-confident, I have attracted healthier relationships that are balanced in love and give and take.
My work and influence as a speaker, coach, moderator, and sometimes as a writer will improve over time as I deepen the wisdom and practices (mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional) that bring about my courage, my confidence and mine Strengthen confidence in myself.
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Trust and courage are muscles. You need to use, practice, and implement it to get it stronger. The more I have my strength and courage, the more my trust supports my greater purpose on the planet to help others develop and grow
I've come a long way. I had self-doubt, low self-esteem, felt invisible, and didn't feel important for most of my young life. I wanted to heal and grow, feel happy, fulfilled, make a difference. My patience and commitment to my self-love, healing, and discovery of my higher purpose in my life have made a huge difference in who I am today. One day at a time. Knowing and feeling that you are worthy and deserved can take time. You are unique in this world. Embrace this truth, love your uniqueness, and know that over time, with the right support and love from yourself and the right people in your life, it will work. Good luck! Make the jump for YOU!
Person No. 9
How much does self-acceptance have to do with your trust?
Personally, I don't consider myself a very confident person, even though people consider the things I do to be brave.
Teilweise mache ich Dinge selbstbewusst in meinem Leben, weil ich mich nicht sehr selbstakzeptant gefühlt habe und ich das Gefühl habe, dass ich als Person mehr wachsen muss, um selbstliebender, selbstakzeptierender und selbstbewusster zu sein. Also ergreife ich Maßnahmen und mache neue Dinge, um das in mir weiter zu kultivieren. Je mehr Dinge ich getan habe, desto sicherer bin ich, dass ich neue Dinge tun kann.
Es ist mir unangenehm, mich zu wohl zu fühlen, daher muss ich Grenzen überschreiten, um zu wachsen. Wenn ich mutige Dinge oder neue Projekte mache, versuche ich mich zu verbessern, etwas zu lernen und mich selbst herauszufordern.
Dinge zu tun hat mir geholfen, Vertrauen aufzubauen, aber tatsächlich fühlte ich kein Vertrauen während des tatsächlichen Tuns. Normalerweise fühlte ich mich wie ein Betrüger-Syndrom mit einer Stimme im Inneren, die sagte: „Ich bin keine Person, die XYZ macht“, aber danach Ich mache es, mir ist klar, dass ich diese Person bin, die neue Dinge tut! Dann fühle ich mehr Selbstvertrauen. Wenn ich anerkenne, dass ich etwas tun kann und getan habe, werde ich selbstbewusster. Ich bin in der Lage, außerhalb meiner Komfortzone zu sein, was ich zu tun glaube und trotzdem erfolgreich zu sein.
Ich bin mir nicht sicher, wann genau ich etwas tue, aber ich kann zuversichtlich sagen, dass ich all diese Dinge wieder problemlos tun würde. Die Angst vor dem Unbekannten ist etwas, mit dem ich umgehen kann. Unsicherheit und Unsicherheit können dich besiegen, aber ich benutze sie, um mich zu pushen und zu wachsen.
Ich denke, was mir erlaubt, Dinge selbstbewusst zu tun, obwohl ich mich nicht als selbstbewusste Person betrachte, ist, dass ich es hasse, gelangweilt zu sein! Ich möchte nicht stecken bleiben und klein sein, das treibt mich an und es bringt mich dazu, neue Dinge zu tun, und ich liebe es, dass Sie so viel über sich selbst und die Welt lernen, wenn Sie Änderungen vornehmen, neue Dinge ausprobieren und neue Aktivitäten durchführen Ich würde das vorziehen, als stecken zu bleiben.
Ich finde mich auch sicherer, neue Dinge zu tun, wenn ich nicht weiß, was kommt. Das Unbekannte ist besser für mich, als alles zu sehen, was ich zu Beginn wissen oder tun müsste, um zu sehen, wie schwer es sein könnte! Es ist einfacher, einfach einzutauchen und loszulegen und zu lernen, während ich gehe.
Wie stehen Sie zum Scheitern?
Mit den Projekten, die ich durchgeführt habe, bereue ich mein Leben überhaupt nicht, denn alles, was ich tue, bringt mich dahin, wo ich jetzt bin und hilft mir zu wachsen. Etwas zu versuchen und es gelingt nicht, ist KEIN Misserfolg. Es ist "man kann saugen und trotzdem großartig sein, wenn man es macht und Spaß daran hat".
Wenn etwas nicht funktioniert, lernst du immer noch, zum Beispiel könntest du erkennen, dass es nicht dein Ding ist oder dass du mehr lernen / üben musst. Ich bin nicht an Ergebnisse gebunden, es geht mehr um die Reise für mich und das Erleben des Lebens.
Was hat den Unterschied gemacht, sich selbst akzeptieren zu können (wie haben Sie es gemacht), um sich sicher zu fühlen?
Ich war lange Zeit Single, also lernte ich, mich wohl zu fühlen, alleine zu leben und mich bewusst nur mit wirklich guten Menschen zu umgeben. Ich entschied mich dafür, Leute um mich zu haben, die wussten, dass ich fähig bin und die wissen, dass es mir auf jeden Fall gut gehen würde, und mich nur ermutigen würden, damit weiterzumachen.
Was waren die alltäglichen Dinge, die dazu beigetragen haben, dass Sie allgemein Selbstvertrauen aufbauen und fühlen?
Ich gehe jeden Tag zur Arbeit, 1 Stunde alleine, um „mich Zeit“ zu haben, damit ich nachdenken, über Dinge nachdenken, mich mit mir selbst verbunden fühlen, Dinge hören kann, die mich in Podcasts interessieren, und es kalibriert mich definitiv für den Tag .
Es ist so wichtig, ständig neue Dinge auszuprobieren, neue Fähigkeiten und Hobbys zu erlernen.
Dinge zu tun, die mich aus meinem Geist und in meinen Körper bringen, also taktile Handaktivitäten – Kunst, Handwerk, Garten, damit ich im gegenwärtigen Moment mehr mit mir verbunden sein kann, aus dem Denken herausgeholt.
Was gab Ihnen das Vertrauen, neue Dinge zu tun, die für Sie wichtig waren, wie neue Ziele, Risiken einzugehen oder Veränderungen im Leben vorzunehmen?
Feeling like I’ve hit my comfort zone is a sign to me to move and change something, and I do that confidently because I prefer that to being stuck or too comfortable.
What areas of your life have improved because of these confidence boosters?
Confidence has helped me at work. I’ve been given opportunities probably because I have the “fake it til I make it” attitude. It has a snowball effect, in that you try something new, you feel good, it then becomes a positive cycle.
