“I want a world in which everyone understands that discomfort is the price of legend. And fear is only growth that gets you. “~ Robin S. Sharma
For years I felt like the most incredible dancer. Whenever I listened to music, no matter where I was, I moved slowly at first and then as the music began to fill my soul with increasing devotion. At that moment I was full of passion and let go completely. It was me and the music – nobody and nothing else. I was in another world.
When I danced in front of others, I was very pleased with the applause I received for sharing such a passionate performance. I couldn't imagine doing anything else. Why should I? Dancing brought so much happiness into my life and I felt free every time. That's all I wanted: joy and freedom.
But no matter how often I danced, it always ended in the same way: I would fall back to earth with an almighty bang. You see it wasn't real. The dancing, the applause, the joy and freedom that I felt; it was all an invention of my imagination. It had been like this for over five long years.
The truth is, I didn't just want to dance in my head, I really wanted to. I wanted to take classes and learn to dance to the best of my ability, but I was too scared. I was afraid of being over.
I believed that nobody my age took dance classes, or at least only a few. And I didn't like the idea of being the oldest in the class trying to keep up with the younger ones and just looking like an idiot.
But my desire to dance eventually overtook all fears I had. It is as if the desire had taken on a life of its own, and the more I dreamed of dancing, the harder my desire burned until it burned so much that it eventually set my fear on fire.
And when my fear went up in flames, the lingering thoughts that were holding me weakened and I looked on websites for classes near me. After all these years of being held back by fear, I finally booked myself into a class. I finally really wanted to dance.
I never expected to go into the studio and dance the way I danced in my head. After all, I was an absolute beginner. I undoubtedly had a secret desire to effortlessly and flawlessly take up my chosen dance style, but of course that didn't happen.
My perfectionist side often raised its head. I knew I had a long way to go and that I would make a lot of mistakes, but still I wanted to dance properly and I wanted instant satisfaction. My understanding that it would take some time and my inner "woman perfection" collided badly, but I continued.
It didn't help to watch the other students in my class and to fall into the comparison trap. Although it was a complete beginner class, each had different skills. Some stumbled a lot, others seemed to take it all in without even thinking about it, or so it seemed, and still others looked like they had dance experience before, perhaps in a different style.
I looked at her and often wished I could be like her, but that was usually when I thought I was not moving fast enough. That would make me angry at myself and spoil my own enjoyment of exactly what I wanted to do for years.
The only thing I was most relieved about was that I wasn't the oldest thing that happened only once and even then it didn't bother me as much as I imagined.
So there I was, fully immersed in my weekly dance class, loving every moment that I wasn't frustrated with myself and all I could think of was other classes to attend. I never thought there would be a bonus in following my heart's desire and I never expected to want to push myself further.
As for the final surprise before the end of the year, I never thought it could be possible. I thought that was it; I broke through my dancing fear – or rather, my desires devoured my fears on my behalf – and I was happy.
The bonus came in the form of a clearer mind, which makes sense considering that I was no longer dancing in my head for hours and then constantly thinking about it and worrying about why I couldn't actually do it.
And then, because I felt the need to expand a little further a few months later, I found myself enrolled in an acting class. I take acting classes. It was indeed a class for the quieter person, and while it was a slightly modified version of what might be considered a traditional acting class, I did, and it was a big deal for me.
The biggest surprise, however, was to do without refined sugar. I've always had a slight sweet tooth, but after thirty days without wheat, grain, dairy, or sugar, I didn't want to go back.
I took pride in the fact that I had been without sugar for thirty days and wanted to keep going even if I just wanted to see how long I could keep going. And to this day, almost four years later, I'm still sugar free and I don't feel the need to change anything. I believe all of this came from the honor of calling my soul.
Would I have attended an acting class if I had never attended dance classes at first? I do not believe that. Would I have started a 30 day program with no wheat, grains, dairy or sugar and continued my life without sugar? I do not believe that. Why? Because dancing made me want to grow in other areas. I was already expressing myself through dance, so I wanted to improve how I expressed myself verbally.
Because I felt good doing the exercise I got every week through dancing, I wanted to focus even more on my health. It scares me now to think what would have happened if I hadn't gotten over myself. I would have got stuck in my head doing so.
I would never have thought about acting classes again, and I would probably have continued to eat more refined, sugary foods than I wanted, experiencing the uncomfortable ups and downs of sugar. I am overjoyed that I have allowed my desire to take over and help me ignore my fears about dance classes. It is about following the calling of our soul and letting it enrich our lives.
About Denise M
Denise is the creator of Mission: Sugar-Free, a workbook to help women prepare to quit sugar and stay successfully sugar-free http: // www .TheSugarFreeLife.club
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