"Your life does not get better by accident, it gets better through change." ~ Jim Rohn
For years, I dreamed of leaving the winters in northern Ontario, Canada, and basking in the warm golden sun somewhere in Central America from October to May. I joked with my co-workers every winter "This is my last winter here, I swear!"
I have been doing this for years, until finally, a year, my last winter was there. But not because it was the most brutal winter we've ever experienced. Oh no. It was much more than that.
rewinding until 2012
I had just dropped out of my eight-year abusive relationship. I was knocked down, torn and left behind as a woman's shell. I had no material or emotional connection to my name. Very few belongings and no self-respect, self-esteem, self-love or self-assurance.
I left empty and deaf. But then I did not care what I had or did not have. All I knew was that I had to go to save the poor mental health I had left.
The reconstruction of my life took a lot of time. I had just filed for bankruptcy and had no two cents to rub together. With the amazing help of family and friends I was able to find a job, find an apartment, set up, albeit very simply, and start my life anew.
I was fifty-one years old. And scared of my tree. I never lived alone and was not sure if I would feed myself or how I would live.
My Journey out of Despair
After leaving my relationship, I plunged into the world of personal development. I had to put things in my hands that would help me to improve my life. I read eBooks and self-help blogs and watched YouTube videos from some of the biggest people in the world (Les Brown, Tony Robbins, Lisa Nichols, etc.)
I had hundreds of sticky notes with motivational quotes and slogans in my little flat. I read it as loud as I could. I had a lot of healing to do and was ready to do whatever I needed to do to heal.
I was broken, empty and deaf and knew that I had a purpose here on Earth – and it should not be miserable for the rest of my life. I was no longer interested in subscribing to this life.
And then something wonderful happened …
I found a home in a homeless shelter
One day I had a conversation with someone I had just met and they told me that they volunteered at the homeless shelter and how amazing it was.
I was all ears then. I wanted to know who, what, where, when and why. All of it.
The next day I applied as a volunteer there. And suddenly, I had something that I could rejoice in, that freed me from my misery, helped me to forget my worries, and opened my eyes to a whole new world.
The volunteer appearance that I soon discovered was a big part of my healing journey. I had no idea how my whole world would change by having a dinner for the homeless twice a month.
I fell in love with these people. Every one of those broken, lost souls filled my heart with immense joy. Here all my problems disappeared and my heart opened.
The more I helped, the happier I became and suddenly realized what my life was. It was right here with the poor, the broken, the helpless and the hungry.
Fast Forward to 2014
Every day I became stronger and happier. I started falling in love with Iva. I found a new Iva. One to look forward to. A woman who, once broken and beaten, became alive and had the joy of life.
One year after I started volunteering at the homeless shelter, I became a team captain and was there almost every day.
But a part of me wanted more. I wanted to help more on a personal level and somewhere poverty, homelessness and malnutrition prevailed. I returned to my dream of traveling to Central America and suddenly had a great a-ha moment.
If only I could find a way to support myself down there, I could go. Once again I have dealt with the world of personal development, but this time with a different goal. I wanted to learn how to become a freelance writer to realize this dream.
But there were two dreams now: fleeing the Canadian winters and helping the hungry.
Suddenly the dream became reality
After many researches and the free submission of numerous guest blogs, I finally found a job as a freelance author. It took me eight months to cut hair for nine hours a day and write for three to four hours a day for free.
In July 2015, I gave up my hairdressing profession and worked full-time as a freelance writer. The next step was to downsize, find and move a country in Central America.
It all happened so fast. It seemed like I had just left yesterday my abusive relationship and here for Third World countries, in which I wanted to move.
I was scared, excited, scared and finally happy. I had a new life contract that no longer only involved me. It was bigger than that.
But I recognized something very big and important
In October 2015, I landed with two suitcases on a one-way ticket in Guatemala. I was scared, but knew that I had to be here.
I found organizations that needed help and started families for themselves, helping them independently. I helped people on the street, bought lunches for the shoeshine boys and sent kids to school.
I loved life in the Third World. It was easy, the people were beautiful and I was finally happy and at peace with my past and the traumatic life I had lived.
One thing that became very important to me was that if we help others, we help ourselves. By helping others, we create deep connections that help prevent depression. we find a new meaning; Research has shown that we reduce our stress and increase our happiness.
I realized that volunteering was the best thing I could do for me on my healing journey.
When we free ourselves from our heads and lives and find ourselves in a place that not only shakes our comfort zone, but also gives us the opportunity to serve others, true healing happens.
That does not have to mean moving to a third world country or making major changes. It can be so easy to volunteer once a week or even once a month for an hour – or just to help needy friends and neighbors.
We heal by helping others. To give others pleasure. And sharing our stories of change, courage and bravery.
It's four years later and I'm still in Guatemala, still helping and still growing up personally. I do not think I could ever return to Canada. Life in a third world has brought my life ridiculous joy and love into my heart.
It changed me in ways I never dreamed of. And I could not be happier.
About Iva Ursano
Iva is a retired hairstylist who works as a freelancer in northern Ontario Canada, leading a life of freedom, peace and joy in sunny Guatemala. Her two main goals are to inspire people around the world with her blogs and to feed hungry little bellies in the poor city she now calls home. Follow her here on Pinterest or visit her website and be inspired weekly!
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