“Peace. It doesn't mean being in a place where there is no noise, anger, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of these things and still be calm in your heart. "~ Unknown
I started the morning with a meditation. After I took my dog out and made the coffee, I sat in my sunny living room, my little dog Frankie snuggled up next to me. I sat cross-legged with a blue pillow on my lap to keep myself warm. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breath.
When ten minutes passed, I raised my hands in appreciation. “Thank you for this day. Thank you so much for my family and for our health. Give me strength, wisdom and love. "Then I stretched my hands forward," so that I can give strength, wisdom and love. " Finally, I stretched out both arms to my sides and moved my fingers in my peripheral vision to remind myself that I was fully aware of this. That's how I start every day.
That was not always the case. My older brother Marc tried to get me to meditate when I was fourteen. Although he was a patient teacher, I did not understand the point of the exercise.
"Let's sit together. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breath."
“Why do I have to do this?
“Just sit down, Lise. It is good for you to study. We will do it together. "
"OK, but why?"
Marc tried, but I resisted. I stopped meditating as soon as he went back to college.
Years later, as part of my psychological training, I took part in courses in which meditation was touted as a stress-reducing technique. There were demonstrations during the class that I always enjoyed. I leaned back, took a deep breath, and felt a deep flow of relaxation within me. But I had no follow-up at home. As soon as the class was over, so was my meditation.
My breakthrough into daily meditation happened in 2020, one of the few good things that came out of this terrible year. I've been home practically every minute of my life. I didn't have to run out of the house, brave the traffic, and get to the office at 9:00 a.m. The mornings stretched more slowly. It was easier to find those ten minutes to breathe every morning.
Now I sit every day. I scan my body and notice points of tension, pain and pressure areas. Simply recognizing the tension postpones any pain and my body calms down.
My mind floats free from my constant to-do lists, as if it were floating on the waves of a gentle sea. I hear the sounds of the house around me, the heater outside working mightily to keep our house warm. Frankie the dog next to me, sighing. My abs loosen up. I notice thoughts drifting in. I don't care about them. The thoughts go away. Peace.
Then, of course, meditation goes well. Sometimes every minute goes on. My scalp is itchy. "I forgot to return that call," I think, and my body is on high alert. "Oh no, I have to write this woman back!" My neck contracts. "What if this editor doesn't like my submission?" My stomach knots. I can't let go of these thoughts. “I suck on meditation. Why can't I just breathe? When are these ten minutes over? "
Sometimes meditation works like this. It's not always peaceful and it doesn't always feel good. The key, I was told, is to hold on to it. As with any skill, the more we practice, the better at it. It is no accident that we say we are practicing meditation. I couldn't write decently even in a year.
If you are like fourteen year old me, you may be wondering why meditate at all? There are so many benefits that I have no idea where to start. Here is a partial list. Meditation …
Soothes Fear: When you learn to focus the mind, your thoughts turn into fearful reflections rather than fearful “what-ifs”.
Calms Anger: Focusing on breathing calms the mind and stops our inner tirades about people who have wronged us.
Improves the immune system: the body is not designed to be in a constant fight or flight mode. When we are tense, our immune systems work poorly. When we relax, our immune system starts working again.
Lowers Blood Pressure: Meditation is a proven technique for improving high blood pressure.
Manages Emotional Reactivity: This is a great one. It is easy for me, my sensitive soul, to feel hurt and wounded by other people. Meditation enables me to detach myself from the provocations of the moment and to develop inner peace. Once I've calmed down, I find the freedom to respond emotionally. I can bring more thoughtfulness and wisdom into my relationships.
Fortunately, the benefits of meditation extend over the ten minutes to the whole day.
Now that I practice regularly, I notice how my shoulders stand out. With mindfulness I can lower those shoulders.
I notice when my stomach is tense and I can breathe this tension away.
I notice when my mind swirls anxiously around my to-do list and I can tell my mind to relax.
The consciousness that results from a regular ten-minute mediation follows me all day and helps me to stay calmer and more relaxed.
Some time ago I was preparing for a radio interview as part of my recent book advertising. I had an hour and thought I'd call an insurance company quickly.
This "quick" call lasted only forty minutes. I was on hold listening to crazy music on a ceaseless torture loop. Eventually the customer service representative came along, but we had a terrible connection. I could barely hear her, since she was undoubtedly on another continent, and I couldn't understand her either.
After a brief exchange that I could hardly fathom, she declared that she could not help me. I hung up in disgust.
"I'm so shaken! I've just been on the phone with this stupid company for an hour and now I've got an interview in fifteen minutes. What a colossal waste of time! I'm having this radio interview and I'm so upset I can barely think!" "
My husband looked at me. "Why don't you do your meditation thing?"
I stared at him. I really just wanted to sincerely complain. But my husband was right; I was a wreck.
I sat in my bedroom and closed my eyes, concentrating on my breath. Immediately I felt the distress of my body. My heart rate was increased. I was breathing quickly. My shoulders were up and my stomach was cramped.
"My God", I thought. "My body is completely dysregulated, all from a stupid phone call."
I concentrated quietly. I felt my muscles relax and my heart rate slow down. I finished the meditation, felt like a different woman, and started the interview with a smile on my face.
That is the power of a regular ten minute meditation practice.
Let's be clear. Everyone, no matter how busy, has ten minutes. You can do this and build a calmer, more peaceful life for yourself in a healthier body.
One last tip: It is best to find a regular time of day for your meditation practice. Breathe every morning, every bedtime, or every night after work. Otherwise, postpone it until later. If you're like me, you can even put it off for forty years.
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