"Non-resistance is the key to the greatest power in the universe." ~ Eckhart Tolle
I can't say that I haven't fought in my life. But there is one area where I have barely barely overcome the challenges I faced: letting go of the eating disorder I was suffering from, shedding the extra weight I was carrying, and easily maintaining the results for twenty-eight years
How did I do that?
In a minute I'll tell you exactly how I did it and how you can do it too. But first, let me explain what exactly I was dealing with.
As a child I always liked to eat and ate a lot, but although I was not thin, I was always thin.
Around fifteen I developed an eating disorder. I usually say I suffered from bulimia, but when I read the symptoms I realized that it might be an eating disorder.
I would eat a large amount of food in a short amount of time one day and the next day I would start an extreme diet plan that I could never maintain for long. Once I managed to maintain such a diet plan for several months until my periods stopped and my hair started falling out.
I would rarely throw up. First, because it took me a couple of years to figure out it was possible, and second, because it made my eyes red and puffy.
But I think the exact diagnosis is not that important. In any case, I suffered. And I'm sure you can relate to it because even if you are not diagnosed with an eating disorder, you may still have problems with endless cycles of dieting and overeating.
(You may not call your eating plan "a diet" as the fashion today is to say "I just eat healthy" instead. But all of these healthy * and strict * eating plans are ultimately diets, and like any diet, drive them up us eventually to binge eating.)
Why did this happen to me?
Concurrently with the development of my eating disorder, I struggled with bullying for six years as a teenager.
As an adult, when I thought about what had happened, I said that eating was a distraction from my feelings. That is not entirely wrong; However, as time went on, I realized that this wasn't the main cause of my problem.
My mother struggled with obesity for most of her life and tried all kinds of diets for years to no avail.
When I was in seventh grade, she worried that I was eating too much. "If you eat that much you will get as fat as I do," she told me repeatedly.
As a result, I came to believe that I had inherited their tendency to be overweight and therefore should not eat certain types of foods. And because I found it difficult to resist the temptation, I began to eat secretly and eventually developed an eating disorder and gained weight.
The Big Shift
When I was 23 years old, I woke up one morning to the understanding that not only was I thinking about food all day, but my efforts to overcome my weight problem were getting nowhere.
That morning I decided never to go on diet again, even if it meant being overweight all my life. I also decided that the foods that made me keep breaking my diet would become an integral part of my menu.
For example, from that day on, my breakfast consisted of coffee and cookies for many years (and that wasn't the only sweet thing I ate that day).
After taking the burden of dieting out of my life, I no longer felt the irresistible urge to finish a whole block of chocolate like before. I knew I could have chocolate today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and so on; and so I got to the point where I had chocolate at home and didn't touch it – something I couldn't imagine before.
In the following year my weight balanced and to this day, twenty-eight years later, I am thin and maintain a stable body weight.
I still think a lot about food, but not obsessively just because I enjoy it so much. I also eat quite a bit, an estimated between 1700 and 2000 calories a day (I don't count). I love healthy food, but I also enjoy unhealthy foods and I never feel guilty for something I have eaten. in the worst case, I suffer from stomach ache or nausea.
The principles that gave me my freedom
1. No food is the enemy.
Contrary to popular belief, no food by itself can cause addiction, ruin your health (unless you are suffering from a certain disease) or make you fat instantly. However, many people have become extremely rich by convincing you to do so.
Of course, the main part of your diet should be healthy, but the bigger problem than eating unhealthy foods is stress, obsession and self-loathing!
If you can't control yourself in front of a certain food, allow yourself to only eat it when you are outside or buy it in small packages.
2. No eating is strictly forbidden.
If we forbid ourselves a certain meal, we inevitably develop an uncontrollable desire for it and finally find ourselves helpless.
If we allow ourselves to eat what we crave, as I did with sweets, the day when we don't feel like eating the food that we couldn't resist before or that we just ourselves become from time to time wish, certainly come
The reason this idea seems so unrealistic to most people is because of what I will describe next.
3. Give yourself permission.
The secret of my success was that I really allowed myself to eat what I want for the rest of my life.
While people sometimes say that they give themselves permission to eat certain foods, they are still driven by a fear of those foods and the belief that they should not be eating them.
While you "enjoy" your freedom, tell yourself in your mind: "Tomorrow I will be back on the right track." (In this context, tomorrow can mean the next day or "as soon as I can".)
And as long as this is their state of mind, they will be forced to eat as much of the forbidden food as possible today.
4. Stop treating yourself as an emotional eater.
According to the urban legend about emotional eating, a "normal" person should only eat when he is hungry, only healthy food, never eat only for pleasure and never achieve a feeling of fullness.
Anything but this is emotional eating.
But this is a complete delusion and if you hold on to it you will be on a diet forever and always feel like something is wrong with you.
I often eat a little too much or things that are not so healthy. I not only eat according to my needs, but also for pleasure. And when I overdo it, nausea, stomach pain, and a feeling of heaviness remind me that I need to regain my balance.
I'm not saying that overeating has no emotional motive. I'm just saying that this idea went way too far.
5. Follow your own instructions.
I can promise you that as long as you eat according to someone else's plan or a strict schedule, your efforts will be unsuccessful over time.
Rules like "you have to eat breakfast", "three (or six) meals a day", "chew each bite thirty times", "never eat in front of the television" or "don't eat after" 7pm "will only be between Stand against you and your natural instincts, increasing fear and self-judgment.
I eat quickly, mainly in front of the TV, I eat small portions every one to three hours, I eat late at night – and that's good for me.
So listen to yourself and learn by trying out what works best for your body.
6. Be honest with yourself.
Often people say things like "I forgot to eat", "I'm never hungry before 4 pm" or "One modest meal a day makes me totally satisfied."
They insist so strongly that it is the truth, that they manage to deceive themselves. But only for a while. Eventually, their natural hunger and gratification mechanisms reveal the truth, and again they get into turmoil.
So don't play with yourself. It may work in the short term, but it keeps you locked in the loop of weight fluctuations and compulsive thinking about food in the long run.
7. Don't waste calories on something you don't like.
If you insist on eating something you don't want, you will crave what you really wanted and eventually eat it in addition to what you have already eaten.
8. Be physically active.
Being physically active strengthens your metabolism and your immune system and supports your emotional and physical well-being.
However, sometimes people set themselves a trap when they push themselves too far into sport and after a while they can no longer bear it and finally stop.
Instead, be as active as possible and in the way that suits you best. This will serve you much better in the long run.
9. Focus on achieving equilibrium.
Your ideal body weight could be a little higher than what you would like. But remember, if you insist on reaching a certain body weight that is out of your natural balance, it will cost you your freedom and keep you in the vicious cycle of dieting and binge eating.
Last but not least …
The concept that I have offered here will not let you lose weight overnight. It took me a year to lose the twenty-two-plus pounds I was wearing. And when you have more weight to lose, it may take a little longer.
But if you feed it well without driving it crazy with constant swings between hunger and overeating, your body will relax and balance over time, this time forever.
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