"Those who do not have the ability to live in the now cannot make valid plans for the future." ~ Alan Watts
I started life a little later. Because of this, people often mistakenly believed that I was operating on a specific (and somewhat urgent) schedule – like running to catch up with the rest of the people my age.
However, I was already in a career that I loved (teaching yoga) and that financially supported me. For me, back to school was mostly about enjoying the process of getting an education without the pressure to overcome and get it done.
When it was time to graduate, I was often asked, "So what's next?"
I never really knew how to answer this question, and to be honest, I always felt a little uncomfortable. Most of the time, I felt uncomfortable because I could sense the uneasiness of others when I replied, "Nothing is next." People seemed reluctant about my answer and, worse, give me a list of reasons why they thought it was risky to have nothing in a row after I graduate.
Although their reactions were not personal and for the most part had nothing to do with me, the truth was: I was still unsure whether to go my own way through life and go the less traveled route – which in this case was To teach yoga full time and not have any concrete plans for the future.
People clearly thought I should go out and get a "real" job (as if teaching yoga didn't qualify as a real job). Another yoga teacher even asked me if I would get a "big girl job" after graduation. Ouch.
It seemed like everyone expected me to start a new career or get a higher education, and despite myself, I subconsciously agreed that maybe I should just make a nice solid plan for my life.
The problem was A) I already had a plan (that made no plans) and B) by that point my entire life had been spent making plans and it hadn't worked out so well. Over-planning had resulted in a lot of wasted time and energy. Also, it was immediately clear that life doesn't always go according to plan (and thank God for that!).
While plans are not bad in and of themselves and can certainly help give direction to life, I have generally found it in my best interests to keep things open to possibility, and here is why:
1. Planning tends to freeze life, and life just shouldn't be frozen in place.
As clichéd as it sounds, life is a lot like water, and making plans is like putting a lot of logs, stones and other obstacles in the way of life – it clogs the current. Plans create resistance, and life is usually best when not resisted.
2. When you look for a certain result, you often don't see anything else.
You could be surrounded by a whole world of fantastic perspectives, but when you have what I like to call a "focus blind" you can only see what you think you want and nothing more.
3. This is kind of an addendum to number two: We could miss opportunities.
For the most part, people tend to believe that they see opportunity in knocking, but my experience has shown that opportunities come in all shapes and sizes, and can be easily overlooked (or greatly delayed) when we do I expect it to look a certain way.
4. The latter could be the most important, and it is that over-planning can lead us to rethink and question or compromise ourselves, our values and goals.
I've learned the hard way (on more than one occasion) that having a plan and sticking to it like glue can be a quick way to rock bottom.
All those years ago, when I was about to graduate from college and about to have a major planning relapse, I looked back at my previous life and found that everything had always worked out one way or another – another, and often in ways I could never orchestrate (or predict) myself.
While the future certainly looked intimidating from my point of view, I felt that I could trust that things would continue to work. Even if I wasn't the one who planned everything carefully.
The story we tell ourselves is that if we don't make plans, nothing will happen. And if we're not in control, things could fall apart.
But the gentle truth, which is actually the glorious truth, is: We are not in control anyway. Not quite. And that's so much pressure to take your shoulders off. Even if you don't plan your life down to the last detail, things will happen anyway. Opportunities will still show up.
Phew, it's not just you!
That doesn't mean you can't have an idea of where you are going – there is nothing wrong with having dreams and goals. But there is something to be said about staying open, rather than being tied to a specific outcome.
This compulsive need to plan is based on the urge to avoid insecurity, a protective instinct that is literally firmly anchored in our biology. Planning is a powerful impetus to minimize risk and ensure our continued safety.
However, if you can find a way to make peace with a future that is largely unknowable, and also realize that ignorance does not automatically mean bad, it will help calm the part of your brain that is planning on immediately want to start mode.
Ultimately, real security does not come from outside – from planning or office work or the acquisition of master’s degrees. Real security comes from within.
The greatest control we can exert is to keep doing the next right thing, taking steps that bring us closer to the center of ourselves, and living our lives so that we remember who we are are.
I still get the spell of planning at times, but every time I get caught up in the wrong sense of security planning offers, I find again that life just doesn't work according to my invented agenda (no matter how well done) .
About Elizabeth Voetsch
Elizabeth Voetsch is a runner, freelance writer and yoga teacher. She currently lives here and there and enjoys learning how to live in the moment.
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