The way is the goal.
The process is more important than the result.
Life is a journey, not a goal.
There are three very common ones, some say cheesy and cliché sayings that you may hear when it comes to taking action to achieve your goals.
Some of you are probably already rolling your eyes, and I did when I heard such quotations for the first time.
But I recently realized something that made me turn upside down many of my old, outdated beliefs about setting goals and achieving and acquiring material things, or simply "making it" in life.
The path you take, the journey you are on, is really the only thing that matters. All we have is the now.
You can and should have dreams and aspirations, but I want you to think beyond that. You can do so much more than you think.
In addition, the path you are on can change very well for you, just like for me.
I tell you about my dream.
I knew early on that I wanted to become a professional musician. I wanted to tour the world as a guitarist in a metal band. Don't necessarily be a rich and famous rock star, but rather to play shows, record music and earn a decent living.
I originally started with drums. I practiced at school. (No way did my parents want to give me drums in the house!) I was pretty uncoordinated and spun around like a sweaty squid making a bat, so I dropped the sticks and took a used electric guitar and swore one day "Make it" in the music business.
Although my family and friends all thought that this would not happen, and in some cases actively prevented me from pursuing this very unorthodox career, I managed in a small part. I played nationally and internationally, wrote and recorded music. I have also earned a comfortable living as a guitar teacher for almost ten years.
But what I'm most proud of is not the fact that I have proven my parents otherwise or that I can hold out two fingers to anyone who doubted that I would ever get this far. It is not at all.
In a way, they were right. I haven't fully realized my dream after trying to do it for 25 years.
You see, for a while I was on a different path from the one I am currently on. It was an absolute game changer and put me in a very good place to allow myself to develop naturally, to let things go and not to try to control everything.
My original musical dreams, combined with my passion to help people, led me on a different path from the main stage of a festival to guitar lessons. And I'm sometimes so proud and frankly amazed that I was able to teach hundreds of people around me and hopefully have had a positive impact. At least play a small role on their musical travels.
Where am I going with all that bragging about?
I think we have an illusion of control, but we really don't know what is in front of us.
And I think the immense pressure to set and achieve goals somewhat diminishes the fun of this unpredictable journey.
We set goals to achieve or acquire things that we think will make us happy, right?
So you are not after the goal itself, but actually after a happy feeling. You can have this happy feeling now, even if you haven't reached your goal yet. And you may find that you are happier to do something else when you are ready to let go and change gear.
The next time you set goals, keep in mind that changes are inevitable. Be flexible with your goals and have fun pursuing them!
It's okay to follow your dreams, but always follow the path that brings you the greatest happiness in the present.
We only have the trip.
About James Kane
James Kane is a personal development coach from Southampton, UK who specializes in helping men feel less stressed, anxious and depressed. www.jameskanecoaching.com.
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