"Holding on means believing that there is only a past; letting go means knowing that there is a future. ” ~ Daphne Rose Kingma
One of the biggest challenges in life is knowing when to let go – when to let go of a job, relationship, belief, repetitive thought, situation …
Most of us have come to safety, which often means that we hesitate and generally feel stuck. While there is nothing wrong with safety – after all, it is one of our basic needs – we have to learn to recognize what is really safe and what is safe to ensure comfort and conformity. The latter ultimately makes us feel exhausted.
"Safe" is a subjective term. What feels safe to you may not feel safe to me. For most of us, the unknown feels insecure, but as you may have heard, the magic happens when we surrender to the unknown. If we're looking for more, craving more, and still feeling paralyzed because we feel "safe," we're probably stuck.
I recently had one of the most difficult transitions in my life when I let go of a long-term relationship. It didn't happen overnight. It all started with a push and a deep knowledge that I was stuck, but all external signs showed a "good" relationship and my mind never let go of the idea that there was nothing "wrong" with it.
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By social standards, I shouldn't have complained or thought, but I think we all really want one thing: thrive and experience change when it is necessary for our development and joy.
Resistance and fear will try to tell us a lot of stories about why we should be grateful and stay seated, but if there is a hunch, a push, a calm inner voice that keeps nagging us and saying that it's time to go then it's time to let go and keep going. Even if letting go may not immediately make sense, hearing this voice can bring new, fulfilling experiences.
This phase in my life taught me that life is all about flow and movement and that life, really life means that we are constantly changing and developing. Life means to be called to exercise distance to make room for new energy.
I also learned that if we don't listen to that inner voice that says it's time to let go, and it sometimes cries out from our hearts and bellies, life conspires to move us whether we want or not
If we wait long enough and reject our deep truth, life will ensure that the truth comes out one way or another. Events and circumstances will occur that cause us to move and sometimes cause us to move at a speed that we did not expect or plan to do.
The biggest lesson for me was: don't wait for life to force you. Check in daily and connect to the deep truth that overrides logic and analysis and simply nudges you.
This is not easy when the voice of fear is loud and untamed.
Letting go is part of human experience, but there are ways to minimize the impact of the transition if we're careful. Here are some of the measures that I have taken, as well as lessons and insights that I have learned during this transition that have helped me to accept letting go. These can apply to any situation that requires letting go.
I took an inventory of all the gifts from my relationship and sat gratefully.
I was thinking about how I could have appeared differently and more authentically.
I took responsibility for what I had contributed to the situation.
I promised myself never to betray my inner voice.
I often hugged time alone.
I kept asking myself: "What do I need at this moment?"
I allowed myself to mourn and mourn whenever these feelings emerged.
I took the hard days and was particularly gentle with myself in those moments.
I wondered which part of me had to heal so that I could hear my inner voice and override the fear-based thoughts that hold me.
I went into a self-care routine and opted for activities that felt nutritious.
I kept a promise to myself every day, no matter how small it was.
I have surrounded myself with people I love and with whom I feel safe.
I traveled and welcomed the energy of novelty and curiosity,
I hugged a lot – it's so nutritious!
I learned patience and dedication – two great lessons I had to learn.
I have accepted the unknown.
I learned that you can love this job, this person, this circumstance and still feel the deep urge to continue.
We are all worthy of feeling fulfilled and nourished. this is the point of life
Sometimes we just grow away from that person, thing, or circumstance. It's that simple, don't fight it.
It is never about guilt or shame; It is always about experiencing life exactly where you are and where you should go.
It is okay to say goodbye and still feel love and gratitude.
Nothing is ever wasted. Every experience has a meaning in your life.
Everything has a season – sometimes the season lasts a minute, sometimes years, but finally a new season is on the horizon.
If we do not listen to the voice that prompts us to let go, we will never find out what beautiful blessings await us on the other side – in the unknown. Our minds cannot imagine what lies ahead.
I had to make room for new love and new energy, two elements that I longed for every day. I had no idea what my life would be like, but I was pleasantly surprised that the novelty was accompanied by great curiosity and joy.
When resentment, amazement, curiosity, longing, rigidity and boredom seem to circle in your head, it is time to take stock and ask a very difficult question: Is it time to let go?
Even if you don't feel "negative" feelings, but a push, a knowledge that drives you forward, listen and listen with your heart.
About Christine Rodriguez
Christine Rodriguez is a spiritual life coach who helps others transform beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that no longer serve them so that they can create a life, that matches her true desires and skills. To work with her, please visit miraculousshifts.com. You can find them on Instagram @Miraculousshifts.
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