As professional consultants, we are often confronted with challenging clients who express the wish that their lives should be different, but always make the same decisions. We don't act as counselors as advisors, but if we don't ask questions that encourage our customers to find out what's true for them, we are doing them and ourselves a disservice.
It is important that every consultant has pragmatic tools to support the counseling session. When customers explore new territory, it is not uncommon for them to face new challenges, feel like they are quitting, or even no longer seeking advice. With the following steps, I invite consultants to explore five easy ways to encourage "change" and help clients redefine the basics of their lives.
When we say “basis”, we are talking about the fixed points of view that someone has taught or discovered from their own life experience and from which they create their basic belief system. Foundations give us a false sense of security and constantly provide us with information to make decisions. While we need to have a way to make our decisions and make decisions, it's important to create a flexible foundation. If the foundation your customer uses becomes too solid or too firm, they cannot make changes to the systems that determine their beliefs.
Step # 1: Confirm what no longer works. The first thing you need to do to redefine the foundation of customer life is to get them to acknowledge what no longer works. According to a simple definition, recognition is the acceptance of the truth or the assumption that something exists. It is the ability to see that something is simply what it is – nothing more and nothing less. Acknowledging decisions made without judging them (i.e. making them "right" or "wrong", "good" or "bad") creates a safe space for customers to explore their life stories .
Facilitating customer recognition for anything that doesn't work also creates more flexibility in understanding different life events, such as: B. Parental leave or termination of marriage. Although this concept is existential, this tool, in its basic nature, enables customers to see the choices they have made, recognize the role they have played in each situation, and judge themselves against the barriers they have built to be gradually dissolved
What if confirming what was no longer working was the most liberating concept your customer came across?
Step No. 2: Determine the existing viewpoints. Once customers have realized what is no longer working, it is time to determine the points of view with which they shape their lives. One of the basic beliefs in psychotherapy is that the way something or someone is perceived determines the likelihood of creating patterns, judgments, and beliefs on which future decisions will be based. For example, if we find a person rude, we can make every effort to avoid that person in the future.
By processing the points of view that customers have taken about the events in their lives, we invite them to determine what is known to be true and what they believe to be true. Researching a perspective on any area of their lives can lead to new insights, new awareness, new decisions and new opportunities that customers may not have imagined before.
How different would your life, business and practice be if you had no viewpoints on which to base your decisions?
Step No. 3: Discover the possibilities. Think of this step as a huge brainstorming activity in which clients and advisors welcome every opportunity and say nothing is impossible. Although it is important to be realistic and have measurable goals, consultants must allow their clients to explore the new foundations. At this level, consultants have asked clients to be open and flexible in their beliefs. Rejecting ideas as stupid or devaluing customers could create distrust and new judgments.
What if you were ready to explore the endless possibilities of founding the new foundation?
Step # 4: Make a new request. Given the possibilities discovered, it is time to recognize what can be achieved at the time of the session. Note that what is available now may be different in future sessions if customers feel more comfortable. A claim is about customers accepting "what is" and then committing to doing, being, or having something else in their life. This is the stage where you can decide whether you want to continue in the same pattern that you have repeated or start creating something new. It's about taking responsibility and playing an active role in shaping your life.
How different would things be if you made a different request in your own life?
Step # 5: Encourage customers to create for themselves. One risk of single therapy is that relationships can change when clients change. It is important to discuss with customers that they can only change themselves and their own roles in their lives. Customers are the experts in their lives, so they have to learn to decide what their lives will be like. Many factors contribute to the success of clients starting a new chapter, but the most important thing they have to learn is to do it without the advisor.
How can you encourage your customers to discover something new for themselves in each session?
Conclusion
Finally, please note that it is not the job of a consultant to persuade customers to change their basics. As consultants, we do not have the right to impose our agendas or beliefs on our customers. The pragmatic approach I outlined is best suited for customers who are highly motivated to change, who express a strong desire for something different, and who are willing to be more flexible with their views on life. This is a more trend-setting approach, and advisors should always make their best decisions about whether this approach best suits their clients' needs.
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John Wheeler is a licensed professional advisor in Dayton, Ohio, and a certified agent of access awareness. His focus in therapy is on providing a space where clients can be experts in their own lives and encouraging them to take a proactive approach to promoting the lifestyle that suits them. Contact him at [email protected] or visit john-wheeler.com .
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It should not be assumed that opinions and statements in articles that appear on CT Online reflect the opinions of the publishers or guidelines of the American Counseling Association.
