“I have no special talent. I'm just passionately curious. "~ Albert Einstein
Speaking to a parent recently, she said, “I have made it a rule for my children to read for an hour each day. There are no two options. They are doing it now and it's great, but I noticed that they stopped asking questions, they are no longer curious and they look boring and that bothers me. "
Strange that reading would cloud your curiosity instead of arousing it. But beyond that, this conversation made me curious – curiosity.
Why is it important to be curious? And can you even stop being curious?
Do you remember when you were a kid, when you just grabbed everything and everyone and looked at every angle to find out what it was?
Do you remember obsessing about asking why? until dawn because you were fascinated by the secret?
Do you remember how you felt the wonder in your eye, the sparkle of fascination as you looked at an ant or a worm like it was magic?
When I think about it, I get the feeling that there are two basic aspects of life – "being" and "doing". In my opinion, curiosity is a quality of "being".
Curiosity takes the time to know something, to indulge in astonishment and fascination in the moment, to go beyond the limits of the mind, of time, of perceptions, rules and expectations.
A curious mind is a mind that expands and grows, a mind that is fascinated with life, that lives fully and is full of questions and wonders. It is a mind that is keen and observed and limitless. It is a mind that is sharp and looks beyond the obvious.
People with curious thoughts seem to lead fuller lives. If you think about it, they will likely explore and seize more opportunities because they are curious about where it might be leading, they will likely connect with more people because they are curious about who and how they are, and they will try more new things because they are curious about how much they can do.
I actually think we are born curious, born in awe, born into this magical place of being. So when do we stop being curious?
My answer was – if we are involved in "doing"!
Running from the pillar to the post office, taking care of family and work, making ends meet, keeping up with the demands of the world and those we place on ourselves, it is not so difficult for the balance in life , towards “doing” and more “doing”. Curiosity can take a back seat and monotony can secretly set in.
In my opinion, curiosity is this polish that gives every single activity, the “doing”, a shine.
As Brian Grazer says in his book A Curious Mind, we are born curious and no matter how much curiosity it takes, it's right there waiting to be awakened … and that's fantastic news for me.
So if you want to arouse your curiosity, be intrigued and share that fascination with others, here are some simple tips.
1. Erase the label.
This is a story about the famous Nobel Prize winner, the scientist Richard Feynman. One day, while walking in the garden, he asks his father, "What bird is that?" His father says, "It's a brown thrush" and then says the name in many different languages. Then he looks at Feynman and says: "Now you know absolutely nothing about the bird except the name."
A label closes the mind for an exciting world of possibilities.
He's an "alcoholic", she's a "liar", I'm a "failure" – all of these are labels that can capture us in a way, the world around us and, indeed, ours to perceive one's own self
There is a woman I know who I have unwittingly called "annoying". Every time she called I said, "She's so annoying." So it was no surprise that I got annoyed for interacting with the label I gave her and closing doors to any other way to experience her.
When I dropped the label, I noticed that she is so much more – she is funny, she loves, she is dedicated, she is curious and so much more! Now I still get angry sometimes, but it's not the only way I experience it. It feels like a buffet full of experiences with her, and I feel freer within myself and more loving towards her, and we actually laugh a few times over and over again.
And all I did was get curious and ask myself, "What else is she?"
How do you describe the people and relationships in your life, your work, your circumstances, yourself?
And what if you could drop the label on something you think you already know? Look at it like it's new, like you don't know anything about it. Drop the label and let your mind travel through a world of possibilities. What else could it be? How does that happen
Think wild and think freely!
2. Go beyond the limits of "I'm bored" and harness the power of "But".
Have you noticed that you say, think or feel that I am so bored?
In my opinion, boredom is poison for curiosity. It restricts the mind.
Boredom is often not the problem. The problem is when we stop and look no further, when we close the door to an exciting world of possibility.
A little trick is to use the power of “but. ”
Every time you say, "I'm bored," add the word "but" quickly and forcefully.
I'm bored, but let's have some fun! I'm bored, but how do I even know I'm feeling it?
"But" negates everything that is before and brings the focus to what is after.
Even if you don't find any filler after the "but", just say "but" … and take a break … and see what happens next. Leave the door open
When you think about it, "I'm bored" is so useless to say, isn't it? We like being in such a huge world and we have hardly seen anything, how could anyone possibly get bored? Look at every situation with curious eyes and let your mind wander and create what you want to experience.
3. Question everything with sheer fascination.
Why are the trees green? Why do birds fly? Why is the sky blue? Why am I not getting this raise? Why can't I lose the ten pounds I want to lose? Why am I doing the job I do now?
The key is to ask questions with sheer fascination, as if you were trying to solve a puzzle.
Remember, millions of people saw the apple fall, but Newton asked "Why?"
When I was growing up, I was bullied for having a flat nose. I felt like I had to have a sharp nose, and my grandmother and I would try sticking my nose out with oil every morning like it was made of clay. Then I remember one day I asked her curiously, “Why is a sharp nose better than a flat one? Do they smell things better? "
Well I don't remember what she said, but I can tell you that I love my nose now and I'm quite curious and intrigued about what a fun thing this is.
Can you imagine looking at life, relationships and work with pure fascination? The world becomes a playground with endless possibilities for the curious and fascinated mind.
So what is one thing in your life that you might be intrigued and curious about and how could that change things for you?
About Sunitha Ramadurai
Sunitha is an NLP Master Practitioner, Neoway Master Coach, and Accelerated Learning Skills Coach certified by Neoway Academy (India) to be excellent learners and highly motivated and confident. She is truly fascinated by human nature and the incredible power and possibilities that reside within each of us, and she feels completely delighted when she sees people discover this power within themselves.
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