"You do not suffer because you have thoughts. You suffer because you judge them, resist them, believe them, wallow in them or identify with them." ~ Unknown
At one point in my life I asked myself: "Will things always be this way?"
So rushed, with hardly a moment to call myself. Current events whirl around reflecting the worst side of humanity. Lost under the weight of my to-do lists, financial worries, and deadlines.
I hardly knew where my thoughts ended and I started. Would I always be so anxious, irritable, distracted and isolated from those around me? Also from loved ones?
Most of my days I ran around like a headless chicken. My brain goes at 120 mph. I was either sleeping or thinking. There was no "off" switch. I couldn't slow down or focus my tornado mind.
All this thinking inevitably led to anxiety. It was difficult to calm the chaotic state of an anxious mind. When I worry about what the future holds or what the past regrets, my mind raced.
When my day ended, I tried not to think about work anymore. And on the weekend I couldn't sit still for five minutes.
My racing mind was useful in creative processes. Like a thought factory. I could go to sleep with a problem and find a solution by morning.
I was able to solve problems quickly. But it was a balancing act. I took the bad to achieve the good. The bad part was overworking negative situations, obsession with drama, insomnia, stress and binge eating.
I kept trying to sort things out in my head until I felt like Sherlock Holmes was solving a case. It was constant, uninterrupted head chatter. It was like being in a noisy room all day.
Often these thoughts were things that I couldn't do anything about. But I continued to worry.
Before going to bed I was on the phone until I fell asleep, which was not helpful. Whatever I was doing on my phone (surfing the web, scrolling Facebook, or playing games) kept me from thinking. I did this until my brain got so tired that I fell asleep.
I wanted to bring myself back to myself. Back to a peaceful, connected silence that enriched my life. I wanted to feel more grounded and centered.
Even when I tried to meditate, my & # 39; Nascar & # 39; mind took over: & # 39; Will that work? How do I even know if it's working? This better job costs a lot of money. Look at this guy trying to teach me to meditate. Should I trust someone with ears that big? Has this already started to work? Am i doing this right? Why don't I feel calm and relaxed yet? I must be doing something wrong. Should I be more patient? "
It reached a point where I realized that something had to change … I couldn't go on like that. Either I changed or I would slowly fall, burn and bottom out.
So I started looking for answers. I have made it my business to become an expert in mindfulness meditation. Of all the mental health tools that I have tried, mindfulness meditation had the most promising results.
In short, I have found answers to my "tornado" problem. But it wasn't what I expected.
There was good news and bad news.
The bad news is that we cannot control our mind or its thoughts. We cannot calm our minds or keep them from thinking.
Think about it this way: Your mind is like a bad roommate. This roommate is loud, chaotic, and pessimistic.
Our roommate has the "Chicken Little Syndrome". He's freaking out about everything. His fear-based mindset believes that everything can and will go wrong.
Now we have no control over this roommate. We cannot impose our will on him. And we can't get him to do things to our liking.
Because it just makes our roommate (ghost) freak out even more! It is a doom-loop. The more we force it, the worse the destructive behavior becomes. It's like the quote, "Whatever we resist will stand."
Ok, that's the bad news. Let's get to the good news.
Even if we cannot calm down, stop or switch off the chronic thinking of our mind, we can create space between us and our mind.
Let us return to the roommate analogy. We cannot control the behavior of our roommate, but we can create space between us and our roommate (spirit).
For example: We can go out of the house and do something pleasant, such as taking a walk in nature.
When we are not around our roommate, life is much easier.
In the background there is no voice to be heard nagging, freaking out or worrying about anything. Not only does it help with chronic thinking, but the more space we create, the less we fuel our minds.
Our spirit is like fire. The more we fill it up, the bigger and stronger it gets.
The more time we spend in our head, the more our spirit pulls us out of the present. It can drown us in its ocean of thoughts and emotions, making it impossible for us to be calm, still, and at peace.
Instead of drowning in this ocean that is overwhelmed by waves, we create some space and prefer to watch the waves on the beach. That's what creating space does. It brings you out of the chaos so you can safely watch it from a distance.
How do we create space between us and the spirit?
Do you see what I did there?
I didn't call it our or my mind. I called it the mind. Your words are powerful, so choose them carefully.
You can relate to the spirit as if it were a third person, not as part of you. You can give it a name. Something like Mr. Mind or Anxious Andy.
When the mind triggers a tantrum, we give ourselves space by saying: "It's only Mr. Mind who is freaking out. I don't have to be influenced by it."
Why? Because it's true. You are not your mind You are the one who sits in the seat of your soul and watches this "thought factory" that we call our mind. You are so much more than your mind. The mind is just a tool available to you.
And the best way to get out of our heads is to drop into your body. Friedrich Nietzsche wrote: "There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy."
We have a mind-body connection. This mind-body connection must be in balance. We can't live in our head all day. The more time we spend in our heads, the more we need to be in our bodies to find balance.
When you fall into your body, it's like a hug to your soul. Your body says, "Welcome home."
Your body loves and longs for your attention. Here are some ways you can give him loving care:
Waldbaden .
Being in nature and observing its beauty forces us into the senses of our body. Our senses anchor us in the present moment. I try to spend at least an hour a week in nature to ground myself. Even if you live in an urban setting, try having a few plants around your home or going to a public park. Do the best you can with what you have.
Cold showers.
This one sucks, but it makes up for how effective it is. It's like exercise. You're scared to leave, but it always feels better afterwards. It's like a reset button for your mental state. Start with a hot shower and finish with 30 seconds of cold. It doesn't have to be the coldest. Do what feels best to you, but make sure it's a little uncomfortable.
Breathing meditation.
Feel and watch your breath. Notice how inhaling and exhaling affects the rest of your body. The shoulders rise. The chest expands. It is important that you feel your breath and not think about it or analyze it. Big difference.
Body Scan Meditation.
Some meditators resonate better with a body scan meditation than with a breathing meditation. What is great about body scan meditation is that it is easier to meditate for longer periods of time compared to other meditations. Make sure the time you meditate matches your to-do list. The longer your to-do list, the longer you have to meditate.
Move your body.
Yoga helps us particularly well to get out of the head into the body. But find the activity that resonates with you. Notice that I said exercise, not exercise. Movement is much more comfortable. Especially if it's an activity you enjoy. Try something different like: inline skating, climbing, walking, hiking – whatever gives you enough fun that you want to consistently do it.
Journaling.
I recommend writing about typing. Bringing pen to paper can anchor yourself better in your body than on a keyboard.
I also recommend Julia Cameron's technique called "Morning Pages". It works well if you have a tendency to wake up with a million thoughts racing through your mind as this gives the mind space to let go of all of its worries and concerns.
First thing in the morning, write down three pages of everything you think. There is no wrong way to do this. If you can't think of anything to write about, write about it. Morning journaling will help you start the day with calm and clarity.
Mindful breaks.
Batch your work in twenty-five minute sessions. Not a minute longer. Take a five-minute mindfulness break after every twenty-five minute session. During this break, you report to your body. Take a moment and feel inside your body.
This is not a thinking exercise, but a feeling exercise. Feel inside your body to find out what it needs. It's like a quick body scan.
If you don't listen to your body's whisper, it starts screaming. Your body is speaking for you when you are not speaking for yourself.
So if you feel that your body is in need of oxygen, take a short brisk walk with a few deep breaths. If your body feels tense, do a few basic stretches. If your body feels dehydrated, drink water. When your body feels the need to go to the bathroom, do so. When your body is hungry, feed it. In those five minutes, make sure to get up and move away from your desk.
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As you can see, pretty much anything that forces us to focus on our body works. The more you do it, the less the spirit has power over you. You don't fill it up anymore.
After doing these exercises for some time, you will see your mind just like an adult will see a spoiled child causing a tantrum.
You will have empathy for the tantrum causing spirit. You are a confident witness and can make objective decisions without the mind misusing your vision of the truth. You are using your mind, not the other way around.
You see things as they are. You don't make sense of it or add stories to the facts.
Life is simple "." When you surrender to the powerful yet gentle flow of life, your days seem to be effortless. You can go free through daily life.
Realize that you have a beautiful biological machine; All you need is a manual to use it.
About Hanro Roos
As the founder of Mindful Meditators, Hanro's mission is to help you start with mindfulness and establish consistent practice so that you can calm that annoying, anxious mind. This week he's giving away a FREE copy of his Mindfulness Meditation Blueprint. A proven 5-step framework with which he reduced his stress, anxiety and excessive demands by 85% in just 90 days. You can download your copy here.
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