"You cannot prevent negative thoughts from entering your head, but you can choose that they no longer control you and your life." ~ Lori Deschene
Some of us are more prone to negative thoughts. They start out subtle and soft, a low voice in the background of your life until suddenly they yell at you that you are not good enough. They scream so loud and so many times you think it's your own voice and you start to agree.
A few years ago, especially one day, this problem became clear to me.
On that day (and this week and this year) everything seemed to have gone wrong. Things had broken, things had been spilled. Things were burned, things were destroyed. I had not slept well and was in chronic excruciating pain. My inbox was full of rejection letters and I felt like a failure.
I was angry and frustrated and depressed.
I was a failure.
I wasn't talented enough.
I wasn't good enough.
I was a burden to those around me.
I could feel my body becoming more and more tense, my muscles contracting and my fists clenching. I had what I call "bad energy" and I knew if I didn't do something soon, I would have a full blown panic attack.
So I did what I learned, the best thing to do is to calm myself down: I went for a walk.
I tucked into a jacket and hat and hugged my body tightly as I stomped outside and the door slammed behind me. What I really wanted to do was curl up in a ball and disappear, but I couldn't let that happen because I knew it was going to get out of hand. My thoughts would swirl and multiply and I would cry and tremble and scream and my body would be carried away by those emotions for the rest of the day.
I've been there before.
So I went.
And I cried silent tears of fear and felt a deep sense of despair that felt like a weight hanging from my breastbone sliding across the floor like an anchor.
I stared at the floor in front of me and trudged from one neighborhood to the next, listening to the unfiltered negative thoughts pounding in my head.
I'm not good enough.
I can't do anything right.
Why can't I take a break?
A sob escaped me at this last thought.
The negativity kept pecking at me and I kept walking and crying.
When I turned the next corner, I looked briefly at the horizon and suddenly stopped.
I looked around angrily about a concept that had just crossed my mind so quickly that I almost missed it.
I was a total idiot.
In my head was this voice, my voice, saying all these mean things about myself, and I just … let it. I let it happen. I not only admitted it, I consented to it.
I allowed this thought to have power over me.
I thought about whether a friend or loved one would have come to me and said these negative things about themselves. Would I let her talk about herself like that? No, I would try to remind her of all the good things and make her feel better.
Why did I let myself do this?
A car blew its horn and I jumped into the air.
The thought hit me so quickly and so hard that I stopped in the middle of the street.
With a brief wave of apologies, I began to walk again, this time a little more slowly as I was so focused on my thoughts.
I'm not a mean person and I would never say the things that I said to myself to someone else.
What would happen if I tried to turn the script around and instead praise myself? What would happen if I treated myself the way I would treat others if they said these things about themselves?
So I tried.
I am strong.
I am able.
I am loved.
No, I'm not, I'm a failure. I am a burden I am good at nothing.
This negative voice did not let go that easily. It had become the dominant voice in my head for years without my realizing it, and it was used to being responsible.
I am worthless. I am not – NO.
I am important.
I'm worth it.
I am able.
The negative thoughts kept creeping in and I didn't have much control over them, but I realized that I had control over how I reacted to them. I was in control of adding the positive thoughts to counterbalance and lift myself out of the dark.
I said no to the negative thoughts and continued with my positive statements. I let the negative thoughts through and focused my mind on the positive ones.
I am strong.
I've been through things that most people can't even imagine, and I'm still here.
My arms fell from the hugging position and were by my sides, fists no longer clenched in anger.
I am talented.
I am finished.
I'm worth it.
In the course of time I walked forward with my head held high, looked forward, swung my arms and walked straight back.
I was calmer. I was more confident. I've been thinking more clearly than in a long time.
I was happier.
When I got back to my own door and finished my walk, I was open and easy. My muscles were relaxed and I was ready to start my next project.
When I started my walk it seemed impossible.
What exactly happened?
First I realized that my depression and anxiety were starting to take control of my body. I realized that a panic attack or depressive episode was only minutes away, so I went for a walk.
I know that a walk can increase blood flow, eliminate toxins, release endorphins, reduce inflammation, open the lungs and much more. I know from experience and research that walking is one of the best things you can do about these problems, so I urged myself to do it.
Second, I suddenly realized that I was not only being mean to myself with my negative thoughts, but also allowing and allowing these negative thoughts to be in control of me. I let this negative voice tear me down and gave it way too much recognition.
I wasn't a very good friend of mine.
Third, I asked myself to say positive things in the form of “I am” statements. These statements can be extremely helpful in not only overcoming your negative thoughts, but also in preventing them from becoming overwhelming if you do them regularly.
You cannot always choose your thoughts. Sometimes these negative thoughts pop up in your head uninvited, and that's fine. The most important thing is that you realize that it is happening and try to exhale that negative energy, let it flow through you, and focus specifically on stronger thoughts and intentions.
Now I start every morning by listing at least ten positive statements to try to overcome and prevent the negative thoughts before they even start. And when they sneak in on what happens, I do all the many things that I know can help, like going for a walk, having good posture, using breathing techniques, stretching, and focusing on all of the things for which i & # 39; I'm thankfull.
You don't have to let your negative thoughts take over.
It's not easy, especially when they become such a habit, but the good news is you can develop new habits that will help you be a happier, healthier person overall.
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