“Sweet is the memory of distant friends. Like the gentle rays of the outgoing sun, it falls tenderly and yet sadly on the heart. "~ Washington Irving
Why do we miss friendships from past days more and more the older we seem to be?
You know the…
The friendships in which you felt 100 percent happy, in their presence.
Where you felt like you could be your true self – goofy, silly, honest and real.
Where you would get lost in conversations, imagination and full presence right now.
Where you went on adventures, told them your secrets, and laughed until your bellies hurt.
They knew you and you know them, and it just … clicked.
You swore that you would be your best friend forever, maybe even one of those delightful half-heart chains, but somehow your ways wandered on the journey.
Wondering what happened; but you know what happened Life has happened. You went one way, you went another.
If you left a sadness in your heart, you may or may not have been conscious at that point because life just went on.
You met other friends, classmates, co-workers and acquaintances, and as you started juggling everything to do with life, career and family, the years passed.
Until one day a photo of them appears in your social feed and the locks open while you remember the memories of an easier time.
Remember how important this person was to you.
How their friendship helped shape you today.
How you really were 100 percent around them before life experiences obscured your essence.
You are thinking about how much you miss this person in your life.
As you wish you hadn't let the bond of friendship float because your heart literally hurts.
You are considering saying hello. To tell them how important they were in your life. How grateful you are for the friendship you shared.
That you miss it.
That you miss her.
But you fear it would be strange.
Justification for yourself:
You are too busy.
They have their own lives.
It was "too long".
And if your mind stops your heart from reaching for something, you breathe hard and keep scrolling.
–
We all had these friendships.
And maybe not just one.
In different phases of our lives we have these special friendships that reach this "next level".
Whether it was your childhood friends, high school friends, college friends …
There is something in the bond of growing through a transitional period with someone who creates an unshakable foundation.
And only when you are in the crisis of growing up and longing for connection, do you remember this truly authentic connection of the next level and reflect on how special these connections really were.
Because when you move into adulthood, parenting and mid-life, no one will tell you how much you will miss these friendships more than you ever thought possible.
How difficult it seems to make authentic, soul-connecting friendships than it used to be.
And how these special friendships will be embedded in your heart forever.
If you are like most, you can look back and feel regret.
Regret that you let these friendships float.
Regret that you didn't say the things you wanted to say or said the things you wish you didn't say.
Sorry you didn't tell them how important they are to you and how they shaped you today.
Regrett that you did not recognize the specificity of the bond you shared.
But the thing is, it's not too late.
To tell this friend how much they meant to you.
To apologize for something you may still regret.
To tell them how much you appreciated them.
To tell them how much you appreciated all of the laughter, trials and difficulties and memories that were made.
Because even though you both went separate ways through life, your roots are forever interwoven.
Today I ask you to choose love.
To choose bravery.
To choose vulnerability.
Choose connection…. Reconnection.
If you have a friend who was in your thoughts but hesitated to reach him and tell him how much he influenced your life, mark him in this post. Send them a little note. Add them on one of your social media platforms. Take action and let them know that you are thinking of them with no expectations, just to share a smile, a memory, and a reminder of how much you value them.
For what I would give to have a conversation with one of my best friends who is no longer here.
To tell her how much I admired her resilience, her commitment, and her strong morals.
To tell her that I am sorry not to be a good friend when I was consumed by my inner demons.
To thank her for some of the best memories I could have wished for.
To tell her that I valued her friendship, honesty and love more than anything else and I just hope that my daughter can have a friendship like we had.
To thank her for giving me a sensitive kick in the ass when I was in an eating disorder and had excess alcohol and saved my life.
Be brave.
Choose love.
Choose the connection.
“The growing apart does not change the fact that we have grown side by side for a long time. Our roots will always get tangled up. I'm glad. "~ Ally Condie
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