"The real journey of discovery is not to look for new landscapes, but to have new eyes." ~ Marcel Proust
I slept the first thirty-two years of my life. I was shaken awake when my daughter was born, unable to hold her own breath.
I sat helplessly next to her in the intensive care unit every day for three months and was unable to keep or feed her due to her fragility. I watched her endure two operations six weeks ago.
She was diagnosed with a rare muscle disorder that required significant medical interventions and round-the-clock care. In the first months after her birth, the picture of life that I had painted with his carefully chosen colors and pictures began to bleed around me in unrecognizable forms. This was my awakening.
Awakening happens when the veil falls off and we find that we have very little, if any, control over what happens outside of ourselves.
It is easy to believe in the error of control if things go according to our predetermined plan. It is much more difficult if things do not match the picture that we painted for ourselves. If we don't get the promotion that we've worked so hard for, the lover we've longed for, or the healthy kid we've always dreamed of. What happens to our luck if we commit ourselves to these external results?
Before I woke up, my self-esteem was tied to the success of my career, the balance of my bank account and the question of whether others approve of my life and my decisions. I had to look closely and dive deep. What did my heart say to me? I started.
I left a marriage and job that I had defined for over a decade. I followed a way of practicing and teaching yoga. I learned to appreciate the many gifts and lessons my daughter offered me every day. I watched her overcome physical limitations and grow into a beautiful, sweet and cheeky little girl who was full of humor and enthusiasm for life.
Every day she woke up and shouted "I'm so excited!" Whether school, running errands or walking through the park, she saw the beauty of every moment.
We can never fully utilize our potential if we are too much in the tunnel view to recognize the enormous expansion of the available possibilities.
What if this promotion doesn't lead us to our true passion? Or does this unrequited love create space to meet our soul mate? Or does the disabled child that we hadn't planned wake us to the things in life that really matter?
When we are consumed by our idea of what our life is supposed to be, or wallow in disappointment when things are not going according to plan, we cut ourselves off from all the blessings that lie ahead.
How can we expand our own perception of reality and give ourselves our way?
1. Stop blaming.
Any decision you made or didn't made took you exactly where you are. So often we play the blame game with the accusations "that's your fault" or "they made me feel that way".
Although we may have been victims in the past and were unable to choose our circumstances as children, as adults we are responsible for our own feelings and circumstances. If we choose to stop being victimized, we can take the reins of our own lives and make decisions that correspond to our highest path.
2. Concentrate on the now.
When we put our energy into thoughts about past remorse or future fears, we often suffer from anxiety or depression. As we shift our thoughts to the present moment, we are attuned to the blessings that are happening. Yoga and meditation are great tools for practicing presence. The more we stay present at every moment, the less fear and fear we experience.
3. Connect with nature.
Nature heals. It's that simple. Go outside. Put your bare feet on the ground. Dig your hands in the dirt. To climb on a tree. Look at the starry sky. Learn from the reliability and consistency of nature. The sun rises and sets every day. The seasons definitely change. These truths remind us of the divine timing of everything, and we too are part of this universal tapestry.
4. Connect with a friend.
We are social beings. We long for connections – whether FaceTime or Face-to-Face. While it is often necessary to go inside, sometimes we have to get out of our own mind and spend time connecting with a close friend. Practice full presence. Laugh and be stupid. Cry and be vulnerable. Be honest. Make friends where you can show up as you are without judgment. Choose interactions and connections that make you feel easier.
5. Give it to others.
When we feel sorry for ourselves, it is often the best way to get out of our “woe me” room to do something good for someone else. There are so many ways we can give something back to others or to the community. Get involved with charity. Send a care package to a loved one. Send your energy into something that causes a shift from your own perceived problems to help the people around you.
6. Live on purpose.
Work that makes you shine. You may already have a career that is determined by passion and purpose. Or maybe you have a side appearance or a hobby that fills you up. It could be drawing or playing music, teaching or coaching others. Say yes to things that bring you joy and meaning. Say no to things that exhaust your mind, unless they are responsibilities that you cannot neglect, and it will be much easier to find time, even if only small windows.
7. Set up a daily gratitude practice.
Gratitude is a daily choice. We can focus on what is missing, or we can choose to focus on the blessings right in front of us. Put the pen on paper. It can be something small, like a cup of coffee in the morning, or something more grand, like the ability to love and be loved. Concentrate your energy on what you are grateful for and switch from a mindset of lack to a mindset of abundance.
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Waking up is a process that begins when we decide to give up control and surrender to the flow of life.
I was asked again to surrender when my daughter died at the age of four. Even with deep grief and loss in my heart, her memory floods me with so much light that it is impossible to go back to sleep. Every time I feel sorry for myself or worry about things beyond my control, I just have to think about them. Her life illuminated my own path to self-love and devotion.
The more we trust our own way, the more peacefully we can move through this world. At any moment we can choose gratitude over disappointment, love over hate, abundance over lack and trust over fear. These daily decisions transform our original painting into a landscape that is more magnificent than we ever dreamed of.
What don't you see because you see what you see? Are you ready to wake up to the illuminated path that unfolds right in front of you? All you have to do is open your eyes.
About Shannon Leigh
Shannon Leigh is a student and creator of life. She is here to learn by practicing yoga and to share experiences with others. She believes yoga brings us back to our most authentic self, and the best way to be a light for others is to cultivate self-love and acceptance. The magic of our life can unfold in the most beautiful way out of unconditional love. Visit them at beloveleigh.com.
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