"The master failed more time than the apprentice ever tried." ~ Proverb
There is no price for the last place. But that doesn't mean that it has no value at all.
We are so obsessed with not meeting expectations that we can refuse to take risks. So many of us are risk averse. Paralyzed by fear of failure. It robs us of our creativity and moments of spontaneity, which are often the source of our greatest triumphs.
And although some see failure as the end of the street, it is far from absolute.
You should fail!
The main difference between those who can be defined by their experiences and those who see this as a challenge is attitude. You have a choice. Which direction will your missteps take you? The only way is forward. "You fail on your way to success."
Let go of everything you have ever dreamed of …
When I was young, I was never the best in anything. I worked hard and always managed to reach the next milestone that was ahead of me. But that's about it.
However, I had a talent for music that surfaced in my early teens. Again, I've never been the best or most technical player. But I was creative and I followed it tirelessly. Like many others before and after me, I thought I would set the world on fire with a guitar in my hand and wear my heart up my sleeve.
It didn't work. Not even close …
My idea of success was all about me. It was an egocentric vision. And through a combination of unfortunate injuries and losing my career opportunities in my mid-twenties, I admitted defeat. It depressed me at the time … I had spent more than ten years learning several instruments and leaning on the old cliché – it was my whole world.
But I had to change something.
It was the first time in my life that I had to distance myself from something and say: "Okay, it doesn't work. What else is there for me?"
In retrospect, it was a very solid experience in many ways. I may have been guilty of being a little too cocky and too ambitious. I can see how necessary it was that it was a failure that came as a kind of intervention and allowed me to take my life in a new direction – one that would ultimately have a lot more meaning …
When I was 26, I decided to re-qualify. So I went back to full-time education to study creative writing. I am a confessing right-hander. And if a creative street were closed to me now, I would at least make sure that I can still lead an interesting life.
“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. We can only avoid failure by saying nothing, doing nothing and being nothing. "~ Denis Waitley
Now I wanted to become a fantasy novelist instead of a musician's self-centeredness!
Different attitudes, same way of thinking.
But all that changed during my third and last year of study. As part of a work-based module, I had to create and deliver a font-based project that would benefit the local community. At that time, homelessness became an increasing problem, so I decided to offer poetry writing workshops at a local YMCA shelter.
And here the switch flipped for me. It was a paradigm-changing experience.
Up to this point, I had a firm idea of what my success would be – and should be. It was about me and my achievement. It never really contained what I could do for others. But over the course of six weeks, he worked with a disadvantaged social group that was changing very quickly.
Poetry is a tough sale even for many writers. But here I tried to get engaged the most distant from an ideal audience. Many of the participants suffered from mental health problems. They were not always so interested and sometimes did not show up at all
But they respected me and did the best they could. They didn't always understand it. But they were ready and I was grateful. About half of the participants were illiterate / dyslexic, and as for them, I exposed their shortcomings. Unless I was. I tried to strengthen them. And slowly this came out over the weeks.
In these workshops there were more than a few aha moments. But my greatest success was getting a young man in his mid-twenties, whom we'll call Mike, from a place without confidence to high spirits about creating his own original piece, despite suffering from severe dyslexia.
I don't have the superlatives to describe the moment differently than to express it like this …
When Mike read his poem aloud, you could see him grasping something that wasn't there before. You could see a change in his behavior. He would let go of his self-imposed limits. He understood it and so did I. I could see how important it is to give back those beliefs that have long been written out of the game.
It was a transformative experience for me and a real turning point.
I got a big kick because I had an impact on someone's wellbeing. I was completely thrilled by the passion to make positive changes possible.
"You didn't live today until you did something for someone who can never repay you." ~ John Bunyan
At that point I was close to graduation and let's just say that as a writer you are not looking for job offers in the classified columns. But here was something I could do now. I could change people's lives, be it by writing or otherwise. I decided to become a support agent and to be of service in every way possible.
My vision of success was no longer about me. It was no longer about financial gain, status, or other essentials. The "thing" I was looking for was more intangible, but so much more valuable spiritually.
From this point of view, it no longer felt so wasted not to make it as a musician. This chapter of my life was more like a stepping stone. I was simply redirected by synchronicity. It was a confirmation and confirmation that when one door is closed, another always opens.
I was no longer afraid of failure, because here was a path that could only be taken if there was space in my life for it. Sometimes you have to let go to continue. And here was a prime example of this.
Discovering what could not be found otherwise
After I graduated, I volunteered at a breakfast club for the homeless over the weekend. I then used this experience to find a full-time position for young adults with autism, serious learning difficulties and challenging behaviors in early 2016.
It was an incredibly enriching experience. And here the topic of failure came up again. I was hired to support people who lacked the ability to manage their own lives effectively. But more importantly, I was there to promote their independence.
The mandate I had was to try, try and try again with those in my care. It was my job to improve their quality of life and support these people in the basic tasks that we take for granted, such as B. Brushing your teeth, getting dressed and other "worldly" activities.
In this environment there was no concept like failure. It was completely unnecessary. How can you describe someone as a failure who is willing to apply every day? You will not dare doing that. Although that doesn't mean there were no challenges.
Indeed, it took months of hard work and positive reinforcement to achieve the breakthroughs we have achieved. But once a skill was mastered, it persisted – and moments like that drove you to do more.
“Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. I don't wish it was easier. I wish you were better. “ ~ Jim Rohn
During this time I started thinking again about the advantages of the so-called “failure”.
I asked myself: "Is the most effective way to learn really to get things right the first time?" Of course, you want to make progress in a care environment as quickly as possible. But what if you try to master a more complex skill?
Let me put it differently …
Who would you rather have than your teacher, the amazing talent that was a natural talent from birth and for which [insert skill] was born, or rather the other person?
The one who had to fight for every inch of his skills? The one who made every mistake possible and can pass on differentiated insights into what should not be done?
I know who my choice would be.
"Every misfortune, every failure, every heartache brings with it the seeds of an equal or greater benefit." ~ Napoleon Hill
Despite all negative connotations, failure has a certain and not quantifiable value. It is a catalyst for growth. The more mistakes you make, the more complete your understanding of a particular craft will be. But not only that, it encourages you to reflect on yourself and analyze yourself.
It creates a sense of responsibility and forces you to ask yourself deep and challenging questions.
If you are at a hurdle, it can lead to emptying. But the ability to solve problems and get out of dead ends is a real life skill that you can't put a price on.
Think about how often you have experienced the same frustrating setback over and over again. But one day you crack the code. How did it feel when you made this breakthrough? It was definitely a feeling like no other, wasn't it?
And that is because you know what you have achieved has been earned.
It has an integrative effect and is far more valuable than just finding the right way to do something. Adversity gives rise to the ability to learn and create experiences that can later be used as wisdom in later life.
The path of the most successful people in recent history speaks loudly and clearly about what failure really means …
Stephen King had his manuscript for Carrie rejected by thirty different publishers before it was accepted, Walt Disney was dismissed by the Kansas Post for "lack of imagination", and Thomas Edison is known to have made 10,000 attempts to make the first light bulb.
All of her successes were rooted in what must have appeared to the casual viewer as endless failure. But they always failed "forward" in their thoughts. They had simply explored a path that had no positive result. They sat back down and went back to work.
Your mistakes are your greatest opportunity for learning and growth. Don't take it to heart. Take her to the bank. Remember them. Analyze them. Etch them in your mind and swear never to make the same mistake again.
It is a stupid person who laughs at those who are ready to devote themselves to a task in which they are clearly overwhelmed. We should celebrate this kind of effort and not mock the people who tried. We all have to start somewhere. Progress has never been made without at least some form of hardship or setback.
I learned this through my own life by working with homeless people and people with severe learning disabilities. It doesn't matter how often you fall. It's about how you recover.
It's about how you react.
Failure is an option.
It's no shame. For me, it's more of a learning curve than an absolute one. Failure is a label that we give ourselves based on our expectations. These can also be changed. Your success depends on where you are.
You have a choice of dragging the past around like a ball and chain, or taking ownership and working with yourself rather than pushing your boundaries.
Your mistakes are not what is holding you back … It is you.
About Sam Boomer
Sam is a practitioner of hypnosis beyond quantum healing. He creates profound changes in those with whom he works and helps them solve deep-seated emotional trauma and chronic health problems and discover their true purpose in life. When you're ready to take the next step in your personal development and healing journey, see Awake and Align for more information.
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