“The problem is not the existence of stressors that cannot be avoided; Stress is simply the way the brain signals that something is important. The problem – or maybe the chance – is how we react to this stress. “~ The Book of Joy
For the past few weeks I have been proud to be able to keep fear at a distance.
My motto was "Don't let fear in. Fear makes you a vulnerable host to corona virus."
Since I have Crohn's disease, an autoimmune disease, I know about stress and how it damages my immune system. Stress steals energy from the functions my body performs to keep me alive. Anxiety increases the body's stress.
When I drove to the parking lot of my favorite grocery store, people were gathered outside – and the store wasn't open yet. My sensitive nervous system scanned the area and found that something was wrong.
That was not normal. I came here every day and had never seen this before.
People didn't talk, they didn't smile, and they grabbed the handles of shopping carts as if they were ready to claim a Black Friday deal.
As I approached the store, I pushed through to the last remaining shopping carts. People frowned as if I wanted to queue up. I smiled from behind my face mask and hoped that my eyes announced that "I'm here with you – not in competition with you."
When the shop door opened, people stormed in. It was like a race: ready, ready, ready – go! People scattered across the store to find items that depended on their lives.
When I was shocked at the entrance, I hardly noticed the nice employee who was standing there. With a smile, he offered me a disinfectant wipe, as if to say: “It's okay. We will protect you. “For a moment, his smile calmed my senses.
When I went to the meat passage, I felt my adrenaline rush. Will you have my minced meat? What if my gluten-free staples are missing? What will I eat with my restricted diet if it is no longer part of my life? What about plums?
In a short second I went from a friendly man to a smile and was afraid that I would not be able to go to the bathroom and eventually starve. At the moment, this situation seemed more life-threatening than Crohn's disease, which I struggled with every day.
My motto "Don't let fear in" was lost in the chaos around me.
After securing my groceries without some of my favorite items, I took a deep breath and went outside and to my car. When I was in the car for a few minutes, I noticed that my heart was pounding and my hands were shaking.
The fear and the stress already registered in my body as physical symptoms.
"Oh no," I said to myself. “My immune system is already weakened, and now I'm emphasizing it even more. This puts me at higher risk of illness! "
Beat Beat, my heart rate caught my attention.
When I noticed my heart rate, I felt warm and sweaty when I panicked because of the panic.
I was stressed about the stress.
When I got home when I opened my front door, I was greeted by my new kittens Pawso and Samba. A few weeks ago I was your foster mom and now I am your eternal family. These kittens were not "my plan", but they teach me to accept that life can have its own plan.
I saw them fall and fall together. I could hear her purring. I relaxed my firm grip on the front door and watched how they played and acted as they normally did.
My house was normal; it was safe. I had nothing to fear at this moment.
There have been many times in my life in which I have adapted to changes that did not meet my plan.
Coronavirus is certainly not like adopting kittens, but how I adjust to changes in my routine and monitor my stress level is the same. Change always brings with it a certain amount of stress.
I wouldn't be human if fear didn't touch me. As soon as I entered the grocery store, it filled my senses like the crowded shopping carts.
Just like the corona virus, fear is contagious.
But there is a difference. Only a percentage of us contract coronavirus. Almost everyone seems to be plagued by fear.
My history of trauma prepares me for fear and stress. My body's warning system is prepared to respond to signs of danger around me. The difference between a traumatic event twenty years ago and a current trigger is unknown.
Simple things like people gathering in front of the grocery store, a departure from normal routine, triggered my body's familiar reaction to trauma. For me this was a traumatic event.
When I went back to my routine at home, I realized that although there was fear and stress around me, I had total control in the space of my own home and in the calm of my own body.
Over the next few days, I developed a plan to feel empowered about coronavirus and anxiety.
1. Make my priorities clear
My plan changes from minute to minute, so I have to be flexible, but my priorities are clear.
My health comes first, and stress relief is crucial in times of crisis. Normal everyday stress can strain my immune system, but now the stress is at its peak, so I have to be more vigilant than ever before when I take care of myself.
Life as I know it will change.
Today I have to find my new normal and trust that I have adapted to a wide range of changes in my life – from new kittens to the potentially life-threatening diagnosis of Crohn's disease.
I am still here and alive to share about.
I have to give up some of my passions – ballroom dancing in the studio – but I can and will replace this with other passions.
Maybe now is the time to rekindle some of my previous passions, such as playing the piano.
I have to make a plan. This includes taking additional nutritional supplements to strengthen my immune system and monitoring my overall health in collaboration with my health team.
2. Orientate yourself to my current surroundings
When I returned from the grocery store, my stress level was increased. As soon as I saw Pawso and Samba, I was reminded that I was not in the supermarket. I was at home.
Pawso and Samba instinctively know when there is danger. When I got home, they were playful and happy.
When I followed their clear demonstration that "It's safe, let's play", it brought me to the present moment. I was safe too.
I learned at a young age to view my surroundings as unsafe
My history of trauma naturally draws my attention to the potentially scary things around me.
My history of trauma does not draw my attention to the sure clues around me.
When I know that, I have to be careful and identify the things around me that are safe because it calms my body's stress response.
What we focus on changes our feelings.
During my trip to the grocery store, I only remembered an indication of safety – the warm smile of the employee. There were other security indicators, but I was too stressed to notice. Instead, I became part of the shopping cart noise. In reality we all went home with enough food.
Realignment with signs of safety is important because focusing on dangers increases my body's stress response. This is not healthy for my already weakened immune system.
3. Remember my resilience
Many of us with a history of autoimmune diseases and trauma have survived a lot. Our complex stories have taught us to prioritize and adapt.
These universal life skills can help us deal with change, whether we adapt to two furry friends in the household or develop a plan to reduce the risk of coronavirus.
Health crises like the corona virus are not only traumatic because of the actual threats present, but also remind us of what we have experienced with previous health crises.
I don't want to "go back there" and I can't imagine that more symptoms are "stacked" on top of my existing ones.
The mere thought of being hospitalized scares me and I don't want to die.
I regularly check my thoughts.
I don't try to call myself "high risk" because I want to feel strong.
In addition to physical immunity, I would also like mental immunity.
My thoughts have a significant impact on my health.
For some people, the corona virus has introduced new lifestyle restrictions. When I live with autoimmune diseases, I feel that my routine is largely the same.
I am always very vigilant when it comes to washing my hands, wearing a mask in crowded public places, and limiting my trips and social commitments in busy times like vacation. I work balanced from home and on site.
Taking precautions feels normal to me. I don't want a virus regardless of the origin.
The biggest obstacle is my mind and my perception of what's going on around me. The fears I have about "what if" and the events that I imagine could happen in the future can destroy my well-being – far worse than everyday adjustments.
My mind is my biggest inconvenience right now.
4. Follow restrictions that go beyond home placement
I have to limit my intake of news and social media because I am sensitive to fear and stress. This is good self-sufficiency – a balance between informing without focusing too much on content that weakens my mental immunity.
For me, only one hour of television until late at night is sufficient, as I can see the scrolling updates on the corona virus at the bottom of the screen.
One to three social media check-ins a day and I get my dose of updates on current events.
Sometimes I have to tell my friends that I don't want to talk about the corona virus, I suggest that we share memories and laugh. "Laughter is the best medicine" may be a cliché, but laughter increases happy chemicals that lead to positive mood and well-being.
5. Remember that social distancing does not mean social isolation
"No doctor can write a prescription for friendship and love." ~ Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
Our society has become increasingly disjointed as personal communication is replaced by screens. We need human contact. It is necessary for survival. At the moment we need our social connections more than anything else.
Yesterday I went outside and talked to my neighbor across the street. We may have shouted, but there was no question that we respected social distance. It felt great to have a human connection.
I hold in my heart how much better I felt when I noticed that the man was smiling at me in the supermarket. It immediately calmed me down.
This is my focus – the healing power of relationships – the biggest boost we can offer our immune system.
6. Be nice
When we remember that we are all together, we suddenly focus our attention on the positive events that are taking place around us. This aligns our brain and body with security and soothes our stress response.
Making a difference is empowering. It reminds us of how much influence we still have on our lives, even when there are scary things around us. Helping others has a positive effect on our immune system.
Now is the time to find creative ways to give something back to our communities. For example, consider sponsoring your local animal rescue organization. Not only do animals offer stress relief, companionship and the healing power of the relationship, they are also a way to give something back while seeking shelter at home.
When I smile at the people in my community who serve those of us who are looking for protection at home and say, "Thank you for your service," I feel at peace because kindness reminds my body and mind what's most important.
7. Find the sparkle in every situation
Even though I was ordered to stay at home, I can see a glow of light that is always there when I open my eyes. I sit at my desk and look around …
Beneath the boundaries of these walls, which I am told I should not venture far, is the house that I helped build. This house is a reflection of my values, my beliefs and rich in intangible values that comfort me.
My home is rich in love from my family and my pets and offers me a sanctuary to be my true and uninhibited self. In my house I have the space to really be with myself.
This is the only time in my life when I have been given permission to stay at home, take care of myself and not to be asked to give reasons. This is the only time in my life when my health and safety have been the most important to the world.
Maybe I needed a mandate to stay at home and realize that I am exactly where I always wanted – and here I am.
About Casey Hersch
Casey Hersch, MSW, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker, author, and founder of www.lightyoursparkle.life. She specializes in integrative treatment models for chronic diseases by making the connection between our physical and emotional body aware. Our passions are at the center of health and ballroom dancing and the accompaniment of pets are clear examples. Inspired by her own struggles with autoimmune diseases and trauma, she teaches empowerment and how to create individual healing plans.
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