“Take Care of the Infertility of a Busy Life.” – Socrates
After a little breakdown, I decided to feel less busy and to do more of what made me happy. I started to lose what had stressed me and clogged my days, and finally cut in half the hours I spent at work. But even when I retired, I felt busy all the time, as if the day didn't have enough time.
I still buried my face in my phone when I had to wait more than two minutes to use every available second, even if it added no value to my life. I would even try to come up with an idea for a new essay or problem solving while getting a massage just to take advantage of the quiet time. I still had tightness in my chest and racing thoughts in my head.
While I got more joy and satisfaction from immersing myself in my passions and hobbies, I was still burdened with the need to feel that way, getting things done. The pressure to use the newly available time in my day productively felt just as stressful in my body as at work. I expressed the joy out of the freedom that I had just created.
In my struggle to let go of old patterns, I realized that the feeling of being busy was not so much a by-product of my work and commitments, but a mindset based on how I use time, success and Seen self esteem. It was a way of relating myself and the world around me based on belief in scarcity and lack.
By staying in go-go-go mode, I continued my fear that time was running out, that I could miss my opportunity that everything would fall apart if I stopped moving. By clinging to the busyness, I reinforced a limited view of the world in which I have to hurry and compete so as not to lose what I want.
If I would be really happy and take advantage of In my newly discovered freedom, I had to realign what I saw as valuable in my life. Instead of measuring my value and well-being based on what I produced and how much I achieved, I began to measure the success of my life by how well I felt.
The question changed from: "How much can I afford?" To "How much joy can I put into my life?" As soon as I have changed my value systems to adapt to the feeling of well-being, everything is worth it , which makes me happy.
It certainly helped doing great things like filing unfulfilled commitments, but it really was about five little practices that brought more joy and ease to my life while I was still there can accomplish my goals.
1. Decide what's really important and prioritize that
Stephen Covey of 7 Habits developed the four-quadrant system of urgency and importance. Research has shown that many people spend a significant amount of their time doing unimportant activities such as so-called "busy work" or pointless internet surfing, instead we focus our time on what's really important and address it before it becomes urgent.
2. Make a stop doing list
Sometimes we have to give ourselves permission to stop doing the things we fear and to say no to what our intuition is about knows that it will be an energy vacuum. This can be big things like leaving the school committee or leaving the project that drives you crazy, or small things like deciding that your toenails don't need to be polished perfectly all the time.
3. Schedule self-care in your day
Being busy often means being the last to sit down, which increases our stress. We all need time to rest and relax, even if it's only five minutes from our calendar, to close our eyes and take a deep breath or to go for a walk at lunch. The more we do this, the more we give our body a blueprint for how peace feels, and the more we will want to keep coming back. As we do this, we stop seeing self-care as frivolous or unproductive and reinforce the idea that we are worth it.
4. Do something just for fun
It encourages us to do something fun and creative, not because we expect something to come out of it or to serve a purpose, but simply because we enjoy it and make us happy. Spontaneity reveals our inner child and reminds us not to take ourselves so seriously anymore. When we remember what fun feels like, we reconnect with our joy and promote all of these happy chemicals in our bodies.
5. Practice gratitude
So often we hurry from one thing to the next, but as we slow down to enjoy and appreciate a joyful, peaceful moment or friendly gesture, it slows down our time experience and invites more to be thankful. By being present and grateful for the good in our lives, we maintain patience, mindfulness and energy to make the more difficult things easier.
When we slow down, we realize that busy is not better. The measure of a good life is not what we achieve or what we produce, but how we feel. If we drop expectations about how we should be or what we should have achieved by when and consciously choose what makes us happy and what we enjoy, we open up and create time and space for a life we like to live ,
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