"Think of the world … you carry within yourself and place it above everything you notice about yourself. Your innermost happenings are worth all your love, you have to work on that somehow and not lose too much time and courage to explain your attitude towards people. “~ Rainer Maria Rilke
My In the twenties I learned a lot of things about how to navigate the outside world as an adult. Ironically, the biggest lesson was learning to pay attention to my inner world.
I was thirty years old this year. Being on the threshold of a new decade feels significant.
For the past ten years I have had to deal with depression, anxiety and a debilitating lack of self-confidence. I have looked into the dark abyss waiting for people with mental health problems more than once. I even got advice and therapy, called on medication, opened myself up to friends and plunged into the “self-help” universe without apology.
While I share my own struggle, this openness and willingness to be vulnerable may surprise some. The stigma of mental illness remains omnipresent in the modern world. We are conditioned to deal with "snapping out" or "tightening" only "as a temporary phase".
Men in particular are forced to adopt a one-dimensional version of masculinity – every external representation of emotions is a weakness.
We are indoctrinated with the notion that mental illness is illegal and unworthy of public discourse.
Despite limited beliefs in open discussions, very few are spared mental illnesses in their private lives. As soon as others see an opportunity for dialogue, they also begin to share.
Courage is required to show your bleeding wounds to another person. However, authenticity is contagious. We could inspire others with our determination to remain vulnerable and ask for help. In the past few months, several friends and acquaintances have shared their personal struggles with me.
Every time someone tells me that they feel overwhelmed by their brains, my heart breaks a little. Ceaseless dark thoughts and feelings have taken over their daily lives.
The problem with psychological complaints such as depression and anxiety is the unshakable feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. You have the feeling that there is no way out and no matter what happens, the bad feelings will never go away. This distorted version of the truth that represents our brain convinces us that we have no agency.
I know this numb, broken version of myself that arises as a result of these diseases. But things can get better and it is certainly not instantaneous; Recovery can take several approaches. Today I would like to share what I have learned from my own experience.
Wisdom is nothing more than the ability to offer a piece of yourself to another person. I wish I could reach anyone in the world who has a mental health problem. I want to tell you that there is hope that lurks in the shadows. To summarize the general tools that have helped me feel better, I list three. And remember, none of them take time: you need time – use your time better.
1. Meditation
A few years ago I started meditating daily. It changed my life. I started with cynicism (like many people): how can I sit so still when I feel so empty and tired? How will I calm my constant intellectual chatter? Don't I have to be calm to even think about meditation? Does it even work?
The answer to all of the above and any other questions that keep you from meditating is: just do it and stick to it. Yes! You don't need all the answers in advance. You don't have to be spiritual. You don't have to attend a retreat, become a yogi, or spend hours.
You don't need perfection, you need practice.
Find a quiet place, close your eyes, put on headphones and follow a guided meditation. Or if you prefer, do it yourself. And let go of the worry of getting it right, there is no such thing! It's time you take, and what can be better than making yourself a priority?
Meditation helps to refresh my mind in the midst of the darkest spells. It brought me closer to the inside. It made me watch my thoughts, not change them, judge them or arrest them – just watch them like traveling clouds. Meditation has taught me to look inside and enjoy the silence at my core, despite all the concerns and fears in the foreground.
Frankly, just try it; You will be addicted once you start building the muscle of meditation. Remember to stick with it – meditating is a habit, a journey, not an intrinsic skill. Nobody is “made” for meditation, we all learn it. So be patient with yourself.
2. Mindfulness
The writer Eckhart Tolle talks about the tendency of our minds to escape the present moment forever. We are too much in the past or too much in the future. In his life-changing book The Power of Now, he says that all of our worries, fears, and fears stem from this predisposition. Mindfulness is the practice of grounding your self in the now, in this moment: in this breath as it is.
Easier said than done? I agree! Also why I believe that mindfulness like meditation is a practice, a discipline.
That is, each of us has experienced mindfulness without realizing it. Every time a sunset, panorama, film, song or loved one takes your breath away and you float in bliss – you are attentively present. You are nowhere else than in this moment of joy. Doing this without the positive appeal is the challenge.
A key element of mindfulness is acceptance or devotion: it doesn't add to the suffering of an instant if you want something different.
If we resist reality, our current life situation, we subconsciously build up resistance to what is, the "as-is" of this moment. And resistance is not bad – on the contrary, we can use resistance to become mindful and present! Surrender does not mean inaction; It means accepting what is true before deciding whether action is required. Reaction is impulsive, mindfulness is wanted and, in my case, wiser and calmer.
Preventive reference to the present at regular intervals during the day helped me to increase my awareness.
Sometimes I quietly try to watch my physical body, my breath and my energy while walking. My liveliness. Mindfulness means witnessing: noticing that you notice it. Thoughts pop like bubble wrap, but if you don't deal with them, build a story, or try to use words and labels, they slip away.
Concentrate on the sensations, the feelings that you feel; not the sound in your head. The witness inside is the mindful, true self. If I see this dimension free of mind and body for even a fraction of a second, I know that I am free and at peace.
3. Self-love and gratitude
How many did I grow up with a fragile sense of self. I grew up as a model student. When I was a teenager and in my early twenties, I started to feel ashamed and hate myself. As I navigated through different cultures, countries, languages, and expectations over the past decade, I often felt stuck. I felt inferior, unworthy, inadequate, different and "strange". The feeling of being an outsider only added to my innate lack of self-respect.
I'm still struggling with the feeling that I'm not good enough, big enough, smart enough, successful enough, pretty enough, rich enough, white enough, and the list goes on. I have to remind myself consciously and repeatedly that I am enough. No matter where I live, what I look like or what I do, I'm complete and I'm fine.
Self-love may sound selfish and selfish. But in reality you are the most important person in your life! You have to be fine to help and love others. Self-love means being gentle with yourself and not insulting yourself if you fall or make mistakes.
I had to learn to take care of myself like a close friend or a loved one. It is not easy because we grew up in a culture in which it is virtuous to be self-confident, something to be proud of.
I think we all have to learn the way we are. I would go so far as to say that's the whole game. It is difficult to win, but we should keep trying. Just get started: check your thoughts if you feel sorry for yourself or lying down (yes, you know this negative soliloquy where your brain tells you how slow / fat / ugly / poor / lonely / unloved / silly you are) !).
When we look at ourselves in the mirror and can feel real love for people, we see – true deep affection for our whole self, with all the bad and good – this unconditional self-love. I told you it won't be easy, but it's worth it. When you can be yourself, life is easier.
While self-care has taught me to value myself as much as I do, daily gratitude has helped to extend that compassion to a wider range of things. I thank you every day for life, health, performance, youth, love, care, comfort (food, water, shelter, money), luxury and freedom.
Gratitude radically changes my perspective – from concentrating on deprivation, what is missing, to what I have. It can connect us to reality in a more balanced and harmonious way. Gratitude for myself or my life has helped me to loosen up when everything feels miserable and uphill.
–
Growing up is a process, life is a constant journey. Along the way, these practices help me understand that I can feel better and be better. Ultimately, we all want to experience joy and be at peace with ourselves. This is a reminder for me and you to actively work for our own well-being. Talk and share with others. Stay open.
Next time, if things are not going well, try meditating or focusing on the present moment. Or thank you for everything you have and be nice to yourself. Talk to a friend or a specialist. And if it helps, read it again.
About Tejas Yadav
Tejas Yadav is a writer, scientist and amateur photographer. He enjoys a good coffee, travels to new places and learns foreign languages. He currently lives in Paris, France.
Do you see a typo or inaccuracy? Please contact us so we can fix the problem!
