As a child, December was a miracle for me. I couldn't wait to raise the tree, decorate it, and lower some of these festive Christmas cookies. It was a blessing to look at the lights and look at the shop furnishings. When I put the dollar bill my father had put in the Salvation Army bucket in my pocket, I got a special thrill.
Oh, and then there were the presents. I count them every day until Christmas morning.
When I got older, the season naturally lost some of its miracle. I no longer count gifts under the tree and I don't stay up late to see the Santa Tracker. Life got serious. The responsibilities have increased. I got involved in a more practical view of this season.
losses came. They have built up over time. I miss people on this vacation. You probably miss a loved one too.
This season, for some of us, maybe it's more about survival than partying. Of course we have a good face on it. Inside, however, we sigh. We remember what was. Somehow the present simply doesn't go together.
Many of us have seen friends, co-workers and family members leave. Some experience their first Christmas without a spouse, parents, siblings or child. There are many more than fanfare, lights and gifts that need comfort, hope and healing.
December can be wonderful, but it can also be difficult. Here are 5 tips on how to convert some of this holiday severity into holiday healing.
1. Take care of your heart
Your heart is your most valuable possession. It is the courage of who you are. It takes care, care, comfort and healing.
What is going on in you this Christmas season? Are there any worrying thoughts or worries that circle in your head? Are there strong feelings that threaten to abuse your vacation? Do you miss someone?
We are all unique. We are all in a different heart. Be aware of your heart and find healthy ways to express what is happening inside. Be yourself – as real and authentic as possible.
We need each other – not each other's masks.
2. Manage these sneaky expectations
We all have expectations – for ourselves, for others and for this holiday season. Conversely, there are other expectations of us.
It is said that an expectation is a disappointment that is waiting for us.
We have expectations that we don't know. It is important to take the time to find out what we expect from ourselves and others.
Once we have identified our expectations, we can evaluate them.
Are you realistic? Have we shared our expectations with others?
] Unrated vacation expectations can lead to disappointment, discouragement, anger, sadness, anxiety, depression and other things we don't want.
Identify these expectations. Rate it. Pay attention to your heart.
3. Move around people who are helpful
Move around people who are helpful and limit exposure to those who are not.
This is a principle for a healthy life all year round. It's even more important on vacation.
This season we meet all kinds of people. With our previous experiences and discussions, we come into every situation. Our luggage accompanies us everywhere.
None of us are perfect. We often make mistakes, fail regularly and are likely to hurt others more than we think. Fortunately, we have all the people in our circles who raise us up, inspire us and help us feel safe. These hope-giving, love-spreading souls are valuable to us.
To protect your heart, you need to know which relationships are healthy for you and which are not. Although negative, toxic influences are omnipresent, you can enrich this vacation by surrounding yourself with healing and hopeful voices.
4. Make a simple plan to remember who you miss
We all miss someone who is special. Each of them was unique. Our relationship with them was unique. Those who have gone before us deserve to be remembered, talked about and honored.
Light a candle. Have an empty chair Have a time of sharing memories.
There are so many options.
How can you honor those you miss this year? Be creative, but keep it simple. Get others involved if you can.
5. Focus on people and relationships
Over the years, gifts lose their luster. After we have enough bumps, shocks and losses, it becomes clear what is important. Stuff is just stuff. On the other hand, life is about people and relationships.
What would it be like to structure our vacation according to the two priorities of people and relationships? When we use our energies and efforts here, most of us experience more joy, less stress, more fulfillment and less frustration.
Place the people you love and care about in the center of your heart and plan this December, and then see what happens.
These holidays will be different, but they can still be good – even great. Live from your heart. Love those around you well. The world needs you more than ever.
Related resources for times when you miss a loved one
