"It is never too late to start over in your life." ~ Joyce Meyer
I sat on the beach and watched the sandpipers scurry back and forth and peck at the water. A dead horseshoe crab was washed back and forth in the surf.
Finished at fifty-five, I thought. I am as useless as this poor crab.
A few years ago I was released after thirty-three years with a Fortune 500 company. "Workforce rebalancing" was the term they used, but to me it simply meant a monthly severance payment and colleagues who shook my hand solemnly. Give your badge … there is the door, good luck.
Much of my identity and self-esteem had been invested in my career. I had received awards and confirmations from managers and colleagues. I was the contact person for answers. I helped shape corporate policy. Being thrown out briefly was shocking and disturbing, like being on a spacewalk and having the lifeline cut off.
So I had retired to my happy place, the beach. Being on the water, watching the endless waves, watching the seagulls always had a calming effect on me. But this time it was different; I felt unfulfilled and restless. Something was missing.
A plane boomed past and pulled an advertising banner: "Learn to surf – North End Surf Shop."
Maybe getting the boot was a reactionary thing, but suddenly the idea of surfing seemed very fascinating. Why not? I had surfed body. I was driving a boogie board. How about driving a surfboard? I had seen children doing it. Could I do it at fifty-five?
Before my reasonable side prevailed, I drove to the surf shop. I went in and a child of about seventeen was behind the counter. Here was the epitome of the surfer: long blonde hair, deeply tanned with a Hawaiian shirt. "Hey," he said kindly.
I said I wanted to take a surf lesson. He looked at me for a long moment and seemed about to say something. "Sure," was all he finally said. I filled out some documents and noticed the release of the liability form. He gave me a waterproof shirt. "Just go outside," he said, pointing to the back door. "You are just starting."
As I approached the class and put on my shirt, the instructors and students looked at me curiously. Some of the children said things behind their hands. What have I done? I was slightly thirty years older than the oldest student. I was in pretty good shape, but I had some stiffness and pain and was nowhere near as lively and agile as these children.
We learned the basics on the beach – how to lie on the board, how to paddle, how to jump up (jump from a lying position to a crouching position). I noticed that the children were much better at pop-up than I was.
I learned that depending on the tides and wind there are better times to surf. The sea was pretty calm that day with waves about waist-high. We all went into the water.
I lay down on my board and my instructor Blake dragged me out. Our boards were the "soft top" variety, made from soft foam, nine feet long, three fins and inner stiffeners. They weren't as hard as the standard fiberglass surfboard and were safer in the event of being wiped out.
We stopped when we were about 100 meters away. Blake stepped on water and the waves on the board seemed much bigger than from the beach. I pushed the topic of jaws out of my head.
"Okay," said Blake. "If a wave comes, I'll push you. I want you to paddle as hard as possible. If you feel the wave has you, show up. OK?"
"OK," I said, sounding more confident than I felt.
Blake held the board as several waves rose and then lowered me. Too big or too small. "OK," said Blake. "Here comes one. Get ready … OK … ready? Here goes! Paddle! "He pushed me and the board jumped forward.
I started paddling and held my head up as I was shown. Back and forth, one side, then the other. Blake called encouragement from behind me. "Dig, dig, dig!" he cried. "Paddle! Paddle!"
I felt the wave catch me and I showed up. But something was wrong – the nose of the board fell off. It dug into the water and I flew forward and landed on my face. I turned the board over and paddled back to Blake.
"Hey, don't worry," he said. "We call it pearl. You were too far ahead. It is a common novice mistake. "
We tried several times, with several more pearl episodes, and missed the wave, fell off the board or blew up the popup. I started to feel frustrated and stupid. I should be sitting with the dead crab again and not out here with a couple of teenagers who have appeared and shouted at each other.
Finally a wave came and everything fit together. I showed up, wiggled, almost lost my balance … but suddenly I was standing on my board.
I immediately became aware of everything that was going on around me: the wave that broke under my board; I stand and move with the wave. The beach, far away, beyond the waves. The offshore wind blows mist from the wave crests.
Blake called weakly encouragement far behind me. It was a feeling like I had never experienced before, as if all my senses were suddenly sharpened. My peripheral vision seemed sharp; I was aware of everything that was going on around me.
Oh man, I thought. This is fantastic. Why didn't I try that earlier?
I screwed it up many more times during the rest of my class, but I also stood with the same feeling a few times. I was hooked. Surfing was just the funniest thing I've ever done.
Since that day I've bought my own board, taken several more lessons, and get better every time I go out. Surfing has changed my lifestyle in many ways.
1. Surfing brought me back to the gym.
In order to be a good surfer, you need good core strength and strong quads, chest, arm and back muscles. All of this is important in order to paddle, pop up and support yourself as soon as you stand.
After a long absence, I went to my gym and asked to develop a program that was specifically tailored to my new passion. One of the employees checked some YouTube clips I sent. He saw how people did it and took special note of the pop-up. He adjusted a routine for me.
The popup is the most difficult part. You should start lying with your hands next to your chest. You push yourself up and put your dominant foot between your hands and leave your other foot behind. Once you have stabilized, stand up. When you become competent, you do it in a seamless motion.
2. My surf training gave my training purpose.
My routine made me grunt and do pushups on a Bosu ball to develop stability and my triceps. Lungees helped build quads, I focused on my back with the pulldown bar. There was a machine for my delts. I had to adjust the initial weight to a level that I am embarrassed to report on, but I gradually increased it as I gained strength.
None of this was easy, none of it was fun. But I've found that there is a big difference between simple training and training for a specific purpose. Every push-up, every lunge, every grunt meant that my next time in the water would make my experience so much better. It made the difference in the world.
3. Yoga? I'm sure you're kidding.
No, seriously. Blake had recommended taking yoga for flexibility and balance. I realized that if I ever wanted to put my foot on the midline, I needed flexibility: hamstrings, hip flexors, quads. A course was offered in my gym. My first class was no different than my surf lesson.
We started with a downward facing dog. As an absolute novice, I had no idea what this meant. I watched the instructor and the people around me. Gosh … this man's head is much deeper than mine … my legs are bent. The instructor speaks softly: Now we go to the pigeon. Now plank. Wait what? I was hopelessly lost
I studied the poses on YouTube. In the next class I could keep up… somehow. Eventually I was able to move around with the class and from there I concentrated on getting the positions right in order to achieve the greatest possible flexibility and balance.
4. Eating junk food doesn't help me get ahead as a surfer.
I noticed at the North End that Blake and all other surf instructors were all nibbling on apples, nuts and trail mix. When I was researching how to develop my new passion, I learned the importance of healthy eating. Protein, of course, to build muscle, but also lots of fruits and vegetables.
My goal was to get to the seamless popup that required an explosive push-up … enough air to swing your feet under your chest and waist in an instant. Twinkies, my beloved Bavarian cream donuts, Oreos – they all had to go.
I found the surfer's diet bike, which describes the best balance between vegetables, protein, carbohydrates, fruits, etc. I changed my diet accordingly. Result: more stamina when paddling to get past the waves, faster turns than I saw a wave coming. Better shape also from the water.
5. Surfing gives me a sense of community.
Like any sport, surfing has rules. Security: Know your limits, don't surf alone. Equipment: Use the board that's right for you and / or the wave conditions. Etiquette: Don't be a wave-eater and take off on a wave if the person next to you has waited longer and it was your turn.
Ignore the rules and risk being known as "Kook" and being avoided by the locals. Know the rules and you will be widely accepted. After a while you can tell from their boards and / or their style who is outside: how they show up, how they turn, whether they have normal or stupid feet.
Waiting for the waves to break, rocking up and down – this is called a lineup. While waiting for the right wave, it's generally acceptable to get involved in small talk. It goes without saying that the conversation can suddenly be interrupted if your companion sees a large selection.
In and out of the water, if you are there enough, develop friendships. The better surfers are usually very helpful to help you move forward and give tips and tricks to get you through rough spots.
6. Surfing strengthens my self-confidence.
Surfing poses the challenges of wave selection, timing and proper paddling. Ideally, your wave just humps, you start paddling and when it breaks, you stand. However, sometimes the wave is "unlucky" – it breaks quickly – and it almost peaks when it reaches you.
You have to make a decision in a split second: Do I do it … or do I let it go? Most of the time the beginning surfer says no way, paddles backwards and the wave continues in a thundering pause.
To achieve it, nerves and commitment are required. Once you start paddling, there is no going back. You have to paddle hard, and even lifting off on a small wave when the board tips down can be hair-raising.
The natural inclination is security – damn no, I am not taking this wave. But you just have to try, avoid self-preservation, ignore the inner voices that scream nooo!
Once you take the plunge, the exhilaration of not defeating nature but working to be part of the wave is phenomenal. This moment, this task of reason, is addictive.
7. Surfing promotes spirituality.
It is difficult to be anxious, stressed or depressed while surfing. Good nutrition and regular exercise are natural mood enhancers and the self-confidence that sport builds up is great stressors.
For me, the ocean has something extremely soothing. It's a giant emotional sponge that sucks away all my negativity. I had great conversations with God as I sat in the lineup, gently moving up and down the waves and looking at the distant beach. Sometimes dolphins swim so close that you can hear and see the spray from their blowhole.
* * * *
The decisive moment for me was to see the advertising banner on the plane when I was sitting on the beach. At that point, I had two options: wistfully watching the plane disappear out of sight; or act, jump in trust, risk embarrassment, but try something new, something challenging.
I am glad that I chose the latter. At that point, I didn't know if I would be successful. I really doubted it. I just knew I had to try. Now I have a new circle of friends who share a common passion. I am in better shape, less stressed and in the zone where I rock up and down and wait for my next wave.
"In twenty years you will be more disappointed with things that you have not done than those that you have done," said Mark Twain. "So drop the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. ”
dream. What could be your thing
About Darryl Bloch
Darryl Bloch is a retired engineer based in Cary, NC. He divides his time between Cary and Carolina Beach, NC. He is a married father of three and enjoys surfing, music, photography and spending time outdoors.
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