"The fruit of meditation is not the lack of thoughts, but the fact that thoughts cease to harm us." ~ Bokar Rinpoche
My inspiration to start meditating came from one of the most unlikely sources – a Star Wars movie.
When I saw the wise Jedi Master Yoda meditating, I thought that this must be something more than just sitting still with your eyes closed.
At some point my curiosity overwhelmed me and I decided to find out for myself.
That was over six years ago. Since then, my life has changed for the better in subtle and profound ways.
It has greatly improved my mental clarity and focus and made me feel more grounded in my life. The number of unhelpful thoughts in my head has decreased significantly, and it has helped me become more present in my daily life and less present on the autopilot.
The relationship with my family members has improved considerably as I have had the habit of being particularly reactive with them. Now that I've gotten into the habit of recognizing thoughts and letting them happen, I can better stop myself from reacting unconsciously. Which means that I'm more likely to respond from a rational place and do and say fewer things that I regret.
It also made it easier for me to deal with cravings and urges and I developed a kind of willpower and self-control that I had never had before.
It was not always easy, however. And in a way, I've made it harder for myself.
Here are some things I have learned over the years of meditation that I would have liked to have known when I first started.
1. Just be to yourself.
When it came to meditation, I had problems with it.
On far too many occasions I got lost in my thoughts or fell asleep while meditating and then I got frustrated.
It took years of meditation before I finally realized that it doesn't do anything better to be frustrated or hard on yourself because you can't meditate.
One of the main reasons we find meditation difficult is that we enter it with a goal-oriented mindset and expect our mind to calm down within a very limited time frame.
It is the failure to meet our own expectations that can make meditation frustrating.
Instead, be ready to be particularly patient and to go easy on yourself and to let go of all expectations. This will not only make your meditation sessions a lot easier, but also make it more effective.
Always remember to be kind to yourself. When you struggle, accept it and let go of it. After all, there is always tomorrow or the next meditation session.
2. Take a deep breath.
Many of us meditate to find some peace in our thoughts, but our thoughts can be loud and overwhelming. A few deep breaths can make it easier to calm the chatter in your head before you sit down to meditate.
Deep breathing activates our parasympathetic nervous system, which helps promote a state of calm and relaxation in our body.
A simple breathing exercise that you can use is the 4-7-8 technique.
Inhale slowly through your nose, up to a mental number of four.
Hold your breath until seven.
Exhale completely through your mouth and make a washing noise until eight.
This completes a cycle. Repeat this process ten or more times as desired.
3. You have to put in to work.
If you want to progress in meditation and have a calmer mind, you have to do the work.
A sense of discipline and routine goes a long way. If you choose to meditate for fifteen minutes each day, no matter how distracted your mind is when you sit down to meditate, stick with it.
Often times I would break off my meditation or sometimes skip everything together when it seemed difficult to sit down and be still. But skipping a day or two can make it a lot harder to meditate next time, and you tend to skip a lot more.
Ever since I started exercising (physical training) every day, I've understood that some days you won't feel like it anymore, but once you do you will feel better and better, and that goes for too the meditation.
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Make it your goal to show up every day, no matter what mental state you are in, because in the end you will always feel better.
4. Stop chasing experiences.
If you meditate daily, after a while you can have different kinds of experiences, e.g. B. see different colors and pictures, see your whole body vibrate and even feel intense energy in your chakras (energy centers).
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During some meditations I felt so happy and at peace and began to yearn for such experiences.
The problem is that the more you meditate with this type of mindset, the more distracted you are during meditation, the louder the internal chatter becomes.
While you are meditating, it is always best not to pursue experiences as you will most likely be disappointed in looking for them.
5. You are not your thoughts.
When I read Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now for the first time, I didn't really understand what the book was about.
However, after reading it a second time a few years later, the main message struck me and has since changed my life – the fact that you are not your thoughts.
This is how Eckhart Tolle puts it:
“ The decisive event in your life is when you discover that you are not your thoughts or feelings. Instead, you can be present as awareness behind the thoughts and emotions. "
When I understand that the thoughts that come into my head during meditation are not mine, I realize that I am not obliged to follow them during meditation. I can just watch it and let it happen. And here I find peace.
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By practicing meditation, I was able to slow down and enjoy life without the urge to always do something or need constant stimulation.
If you have never meditated, you may find it difficult to see yourself as someone who is meditating and feeling that it is not your thing.
Try it and find out. Who knows, you might just get hooked.
About Anoop Abraham
Anoop Abraham is the founder of The Soul Jam blog. The blog is about simple and practical tips to live better and be happier. It contains content on personal growth, spirituality and productivity. He is a lover of solo travel, music, conversation, metaphysics and solitude. You can contact him on Instagram and Facebook. You can check out the best articles from The Soul Jam here.
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