“Include uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives will have a title much later. "~ Bob Goff
Let me tell you something important. It's a rule of life, a natural law, if you like. This law is not only a psychological truth, but also a biological, chemical, cultural, maybe even metaphysical
What I want to say is not convenient, but it is necessary. People who really understand this principle are resilient and adaptable. Those of us who choose to reject or ignore it become rigid and fearful – and you deserve to be resilient.
The principle is: Uncertainty is inevitable.
You already know that, I'm sure of it. But you may not have accepted it.
I learned this fact the hard way. No matter how stable and controlled I felt throughout my life, I was never sure of the next moment.
You see, we all have vague ideas about the future, but they are never specific predictions. I never predicted when I would get sick, the moment a loved one would die, or the next thought that would come to my mind.
I have experienced mental health problems and chronic pain problems and have become more resistant and loving through the acceptance of insecurity. I didn't predict that. I still had to face challenging emotions that I thought I had been left behind. I didn't predict that.
Somewhere along the way, despite a story that I could no longer continue to work with my persistent pain, I was able to continue working and do a master's in neuroscience. I couldn't predict that either.
Turn the clock back about five years and the uncertainty stressed me out, and sometimes it was paralyzing. Fortunately not so much anymore. The only thing I really expect is that my expectations are inaccurate.
I think you could call it developing resilience, but resilience is a buzzword and it wasn't that interesting. It was just that over time I slowly and clumsily came to a healthier understanding of how my mind works.
At the center of this understanding was a new perspective ; I saw that insecurity in itself did not cause stress, but was my answer to it. My need for control. My never-ending attempt to incorporate reality into the stories in my head.
Take, for example, a soccer player who has the story that he is an athlete. No more, no less. If he breaks a leg and can no longer play, he has not only broken a bone, but destroyed his identity.
At the moment, millions of us have questioned their identity through lifestyle changes. Without an adaptive story that can respond to the moment, we're facing the same pressures and fears I've had for many years.
How do we challenge our fears for the future? We create new stories that help us develop resilience and deal with the wave of uncertainty.
These stories will come in the form of affirmations. You can repeat them every day – and act on them – until they become beliefs that carry you into all areas of your life.
It is important to note that these statements, which I will share with you, are tools for experimentation. Treat them like a piece of clothing that you can use for different activities. Don't be afraid to let go of old ideas when they no longer serve you.
An anxious monkey mind will try to wear a bathing suit for bedtime and a tuxedo for showering. A resilient mind is ready to dress up for the occasion every day of the week.
Remember that all fears and concerns about the coronavirus are fully justified, especially if you or your loved ones are stressed, stressed, or have significant life changes.
Your intent to become more resilient in the face of uncertainty is noble because you not only help yourself to stay calm, but also help your fellow human beings. You may not win prizes or receive awards, but you can (and should) be proud of yourself anyway.
Here are 5 affirmations to find resilience in the face of uncertainty.
1. I approach every day with childlike curiosity.
Because children are more of a clean slate than adults, they don't have as many rigid ideas about what the world should be like. This means that they are ideally positioned to deal with uncertainty. They take their time every moment and remain open to everything that the coming days could bring. And instead of thinking about the worst that could happen, they make the best of what happens.
We can embody this childlike curiosity and use it to our advantage. When we approach both comfort and discomfort with an open mind in our head that says, "This is interesting, what will happen next?" We are not prevented from following the stories of our unfulfilled preferences about what should happen.
2. I have confidence in something bigger than my current fears.
We fear uncertainty because our brains believe that certainty protects us. What we often fail to recognize is that we have responded to the uncertainty of the next moment in our entire life. Most of the time we just didn't notice.
You neither woke yourself up this morning nor told your heart to go all day yesterday, and when a car suddenly rushes towards you, you don't tell your body to jump out of the way. There is a biological, cultural, and social intelligence that helps us overcome all the challenges (and that includes the intelligence to read this article!). It will continue to help us move through life and respond to challenges whether we resist them or not.
3. Silence is my therapy.
Silence is an acquired taste. All this silence can be overwhelming at first. But over time, our thoughts resonate with the environment. The slower we become, the calmer we become and the more we appreciate the slowdown.
A busy mind has thousands of unnecessary thoughts every day, and this drains vital energy that our brains could use for other things. A tired mind is more likely to become a victim of cognitive bias – things that we believe are not really true. We know this intuitively because when we are exhausted we tend to lose control, show less compassion and think and say things that we don't really mean.
If we can spend more time in silence to balance our nervous system so that we don't get stuck in combat or flight mode, we can respond most effectively to life's challenges.
4. My goals are always flexible.
Objective is a huge branch. It is also an attitude that we teach our children from an early age. This is not without reason. Setting goals works because it gives us structure and direction, which helps keep our minds focused and motivated through future rewards.
The goal, however, is to lead you to something that is desirable in relation to your environment and circumstances. If either you or your environment or circumstances change, the goal should change too!
At the moment the global situation has changed dramatically. So don't torture yourself by trying to achieve the same goals you had before the pandemic broke out.
This could mean setting new goals that make sense in our current reality based on what you can reasonably accomplish given your limitations and mental state. Or it could mean not setting goals at all and just living in this surreal break from life at the moment as we knew it.
5. I am not my thoughts.
You are probably tired of hearing this, but it still remains true and relevant. If you've noticed an increase in your anxious thoughts in response to changes in your work situation or obsessive media coverage, this is an invitation to continue to recognize that these thoughts are environmental responses. Thousands of thoughts come up every day, but if we can reduce the energy and attention we give them, they won't last that long.
How did you manage to deal with the uncertainty about COVID-19? Let us know in the comments, we'd love to hear from you!
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